In Arthur's Head, S4
by AJsRandom
Summary: A series of stories from series/season 4 that I've remodeled to see Arthur's POV. Ch. 1 - 4.1, Ch. 2 - 4.2, Ch. 3 - 4.3, Ch 4 - 4.4, Ch. 5 - 4.5, Ch. 6- 4.6, Ch. 7 - 4.9, Ch.8 - 4.11, Ch.9 - 4.12, and Ch.10 - 4.13. I'm sticking to the storyline, just adding Arthur's spin on it. I hope you have as much fun with this as I did! (My summary stinks, please do R&R)
1. Chapter 1

**Woo hoo! S4 of _In Arthur's Head_ is here! Season/Series 4 was really hard for Arty on a very personal level, and I look forward to exploring that. :) Here is 4.1, _The Darkest Hour-Part 1_.**

* * *

It was the morning of Samhain. Everyone in the castle had been preparing for the celebration for days. That meant, of course, that I had put off writing my speech until today. I've grown used to _most_ of the responsibilities of being Regent, but speech-writing _wasn't_ one of them. Merlin seemed to be running later than usual today, so I got myself up and dressed. I stood leaning against my desk, writing the speech when Merlin entered with my white shirt.

"You're dressed," he observed in disbelief.

"Yes, Merlin. I'm not stupid," I replied, and turned to walk behind the desk. I heard him snigger behind me. _What's so funny?_

"Are you certain of that?"

I sat down. "Excuse me?"

"It's only that you—"

_Now what?_ "Merlin."

"But you—"

"I'm attempting to compose a speech."

"You need help?"

Help? _Pshh_."No."

"You don't need this, then." I looked up in curiosity—he was holding up a scroll. "I stayed up all night writing it." I gestured for it and he handed it over. I looked it over with feigned skepticism. He asked, "What'd you think?"

I handed it back to him. "Needs work."

"I'll put that on my list."

I tossed aside the speech I'd been working on. "Merlin, not many servants get the opportunity to write a prince's speech. Would it really be too much for you to say, 'Thank you?'" He stared at me incredulously for a moment and left without deigning to reply. I smiled—Arthur, one; Merlin, zero. The day was looking up.

xxxXxxx

I was sitting in council when I heard whispers at the back of the room. Before long, Sirs Leon and Elyan came in. We'd heard disturbing rumors about Morgana being spotted west of us. She'd been silent for over a year; why move now? I'd sent Leon and Elyan with two others to investigate.

"The information is correct, sire. We came upon Morgana on the Plains of Denaria," Leon said.

"She was by herself?" I asked him.

Elyan shook his head. "There was another with her."

"Morgause."

"We're not certain," Elyan replied.

Agravaine spoke then. "Where was Morgana going?"

"To the Seas of Meredor," Leon replied.

"Isle of the Blessed," Gaius suggested.

Agravaine stepped forward. "I'll dispatch patrols at dawn."

"Thank you, Agravaine," I said.

"Sire, you should be aware—her abilities have grown. Both Sir Bertrand and Sir Montague are dead," Leon said. Two good knights, _gone_.

"Let me know if anything develops," I dismissed them. The councilmen and knights bowed and left. Agravaine remained. "For months, not a hint. Why now?" What was her plan?

"We knew she wouldn't hide forever. Today, tomorrow, is it important? We can't live in terror, Arthur. Camelot is secure. Should Morgana take action, we'll be ready."

I nodded; it was sound advice. "That's true, of course. I wouldn't have gotten through the last few months without you. Thank you, Uncle." I put a hand on his shoulder and turned to leave. I turned back when he spoke again.

"I promised your mother I'd always be there for you." I smiled, nodded and left.

My mother's brother had been a valuable advisor over the last few months. Soon after I'd become Regent, he came to stay at Camelot, to help me adjust to my new role. He's given me very good counsel in that time, and I knew I could count on him.

xxxXxxx

Night fell and the feasting began. So far things were going well—no mishaps had occurred, which was unusual for a Camelot feast, but welcome. Knights and other nobles enjoyed the copious food and drink. It was nearing midnight so I stood to give my speech. The laughter and merrymaking died down. "Samhain. It's the one day each year when we can sense the spirits of our ancestors. It's a day to think of those who have passed on and honor their lives." I raised my glass in a toast. "To the king."

Everyone stood to toast as the bell tolled. They repeated the toast, saying, "To the king," and we all sipped from our glasses. That was when Merlin tore everyone's attention away by dropping his pitcher. The whole hall went quiet and stared at him while he swooned and fell over. Lancelot ran to Merlin's side. I rolled my eyes and looked away. Now was not the time for theatrics, _how annoying!_ But I could still see him shivering on the floor. Thankfully Lancelot and Gaius helped him up and back to his chambers, presumably. I wouldn't admit it, but I was worried.

xxxXxxx

The next morning, Merlin announced himself by banging my breakfast tray down on the table. _That was rude!_ "Merlin," I groaned. He opened the curtains. _Too bright!_ "Merlin!"

"What?" he asked.

I put a pillow over my face to block out the sun. Someone pounded on the door. My next, "Merlin!" came out muffled.

"That isn't me," he said, annoyed. I took off the pillow as Sir Leon entered.

"Forgive me, sire," he said seriously. I started to sit up. "You're wanted in the council chambers. It's urgent."

_Great_. Talk about rude awakening! There was nothing for it but to dress and eat some breakfast on the way down to the council chamber. Once there, we found several council members encircling a weeping woman.

"What's going on?" I asked.

Agravaine broke away to reply. "An attack on her village."

"By who?"

"It's unclear, sire." I walked forward toward the weeping woman while those around her backed away.

"What's your name?" I asked her.

"Drea," she replied. I stepped closer and leaned down to her level. She tensed; I tried putting a comforting hand on her arm and spoke quietly.

"Drea." She looked up uncertainly, to make eye contact. "I'm Arthur. Don't be afraid. Tell me what happened."

"My parents, my litter sister, they're . . ." She started weeping again.

"It's okay. It's okay," I said quietly; she nodded. "Somebody hurt them." She nodded again. "Who?"

"There was nobody. Only . . . shades."

"Did you notice their faces?"

"They didn't have faces." I looked uncertainly at a few councilmen, to see if they had any ideas. _None_. I straightened up.

"I—I'm telling you. They were there, but . . . they weren't there. They shifted so rapidly. It was like they didn't exist, but . . . they must've. I heard people screaming. And then . . . quiet. Everyone was . . . dead." She broke down then, and I leaned down to comfort her.

"Hey. Thank you." I turned her to Gaius and walked back to Agravaine. "Where is her village?"

"Howden. It's east of the White Mountains, about a half day's ride."

I turned to Leon, "Prepare the men." The girl was inconsolable, and if this, _whatever_, spread around the kingdom . . . more people could die. It had to be stopped, especially if Morgana was behind it.

The Round Table knights were usually ready to ride out of Camelot at a moment's notice. Today was no exception. We were well into the woods before we slowed down to rest the horses a bit. Merlin had seemed nervous all day, so it was no surprise to see him startled by the sound of a woodpecker. "Merlin, you want your comfort blankie?" I teased.

"What're you talking about?" he asked, as if I'd startled him even more.

"You're making me nervous." Lancelot's mount whinnied and Merlin jumped. "That's a horse."

"Perhaps it felt something." He seemed _really_ rattled.

"Yeah, that you're a clot pole."

"That's my word." Halfhearted banter. Now I _knew_ something was bothering him.

"Yeah. And it fits you quite well." I tried to keep it light, calming. His mood was affecting mine and I didn't need the nerves.

By twilight we reached a hill overlooking the slaughtered village. "It's too calm," I commented. We rode down and dismounted to enter the village on foot. All was silent and signs of hasty panic were everywhere. A door creaked loudly and we froze until a goat wandered out of a house and bleated. _Whatever_ had been here wasn't here anymore. _Or was it?_ I had everyone split up in pairs to search. All of us jumped at a loud _CRUNCH_. I rolled my eyes when I saw the source—Gwaine had just bit into an apple. _Gwaine!_

"Sorry," he said around his apple. Lancelot just shook his head.

We all jumped again when Elyan yelled, "Here!" Gwaine dropped his apple and all of us ran to Elyan. Inside one of the houses he'd found frozen corpses. _Frozen?_ Something whipped past behind us and we all turned toward it. _Where? What?_

"You noticed it?" I asked no one in particular.

"We're hunting shadows," Gwaine commented. I actually agreed with him.

"Come on," I said, and we exited the house to resume searching the village. Night had fallen completely, so we lit torches. Something shrieked in the distance—it was totally chilling. Other screams soon joined it. I yelled to the others to join me and we ran for the town's square.

"There's something around here!" Lancelot yelled.

"Did you see it?" I asked him.

"When it spotted the light, it flew," he replied. So we _could_ defend ourselves?

"It frightened the horses," Gwaine said.

"It isn't something you can hunt or kill," Merlin stated. The shrieks echoed all around us.

"We have to get away from here," I directed. I grabbed Merlin and pulled him past me. He seemed to be the most disturbed of anyone. Whatever it was could move quickly and _kill_. If it went to Camelot . . . I didn't finish that thought. It was too frightening to contemplate.

We rode through the night, reaching Camelot before dawn. We didn't beat the _whatever_—the lower town looked like the deserted village. It was silent, but most homes were lit, implying their inhabitants were alive. _Good!_ We hurried toward the citadel, eager to find out what was happening and maybe snatch a couple hours of sleep.

xxxXxxx

I managed to get some rest, then met my uncle in his chambers for a full report. "We've sustained fifty losses, perhaps more. Mostly in the lower town," he said.

"And is there any way to fight them?" I asked. Maybe they found something?

"Torches are the only weapons. And the light doesn't destroy them, it just drives them off," he replied.

I looked at Gaius. "What are they?"

"They're Dorocha, sire. Spirits of the deceased. When the Old Religion was practiced, the high priestesses performed blood sacrifices to free them on Samhain's Eve." _Ooh_.

"But who'd do this kind of thing now?" Agravaine asked.

"Morgana," Gaius replied.

"You think this is her handiwork?" I asked.

"We found her heading to the Isle of the Blessed."

"How do we destroy these spirits?"

"I don't know, sire. No man has ever lived after contact with them." That was _not_ good news. Something I could fight, I could kill. But I couldn't fight these things. How was I supposed to defend my people against them if they couldn't be killed?

Before long it was night again, and we were no closer to a solution. I found myself in my chambers with Merlin. He lit candles while I contemplated our problem. We heard a Dorocha shriek nearby and he dropped his basket of candles; one rolled near the curtains. I looked up at him.

"I thought I spotted something," he said.

"What was it, a bug?" I asked. The curtain moved and he stared at the candle on the floor. I watched him hesitate and walked over to him. "Go get it." He stooped to pick up the basket and we both stared at the curtain. Finally I asked, "Should I call one of the maids to get it for you?"

"It isn't funny," he practically snarled

"True." I hadn't meant to offend him, just to lighten the mood. I took pity on him and walked toward the curtain, using my sword to flick it open. Nothing was there; Merlin sighed in relief. I picked up the candle and walked back to him. "You know, Merlin, I couldn't ever be like you. I couldn't allow myself to look so spineless."

"Oh, yeah, I'm unlike _you_. I couldn't ever allow myself to look heartless."

"What?" _Heartless? Ow._

"Well, okay. Tactless."

"Never."

"Certainly humorless."

I made a face. "Because you aren't amusing." I handed him the candle and turned when the Dorocha shrieked again.

"You aren't frightened?"

"Oh, I am, Merlin." I turned to look at him. "Perhaps more than you." That was the truth. What I couldn't control scared me. I wouldn't admit that to anyone else, but I didn't want him to feel alone.

xxxXxxx

In the morning I stood at the window in the council chamber and watched villagers seeking refuge stream into the square. They carried very few belongings. The Dorocha had dispersed over the entire kingdom, and maybe beyond. There _had_ to be something we could do to stop them.

"They're arriving from every corner of the kingdom. And they're depending on Camelot for safety," Gaius stated.

I turned to him. "We'll provide it to them."

"We can't shelter everyone," Agravaine said.

"We must try."

"How? We can't go on like this indefinitely, Arthur. We have to discover how to kill these things," my uncle replied. I _knew_ that—does he think I'm ignorant of the problem?

"Somewhere in your library, Gaius, there has to be something. All I need is a means to destroy them."

"I'm afraid the Dorocha can't be destroyed by conventional weapons sire. If I'm correct, and the veil between worlds is torn, then there's just one solution. To journey to the Isle of the Blessed and mend it."

It was a straw; I grasped at it. "And how is that done?"

"I'm not certain. Creating the tear would've involved a blood sacrifice. Mending it will take another."

If this was what it came to, I would do it. "We leave before sunset." Agravaine, Gaius and Merlin looked surprised. I turned to go.

"And who'll be the sacrifice?" Gaius asked.

"If giving up my life will save the people of Camelot, then that's what I'll do." I turned and resumed walking away. I had much to do before leaving for the last quest of my life.

xxxXxxx

As part of my leave-taking, I visited my father's chambers. He probably wouldn't understand what I was doing, let alone _why_. He just kept slipping further into himself and probably wouldn't recover, ever. I _hated_ seeing him like this, but I'd unfortunately grown used to it. I sat next to him in his favorite place—a chair by the window.

I leaned closer to him. "There are so many things I must thank you for. You've taught me a great deal. Above all, you've taught me what it is to be a prince. I pray that just this once you'll be proud of me." Tears stung my eyes and I stood and bent down to kiss his forehead. I turned to leave and he grabbed my arm.

"Don't leave me," he pled.

"I must, Father."

"Please." His hand fell and I took it up again to squeeze it. I wiped my tears and turned to leave. I saw Guinevere standing there and went to her.

"Promise me you'll take care of him while I'm away."

"What is it?" She asked, sensing something was wrong. I didn't respond. "You don't need to go."

I put my hand on her shoulder. "Yes, I do."

"Please, Arthur, be careful. _You_ are loved, not merely the kingdom."

I couldn't leave on that note. "Smile."

She shook her head and looked down. "I cannot."

I lifted her chin. "Do you recall . . . the first time I kissed you?" _That_ made her smile, and I smiled in return. "There. That's the memory I'll carry with me." We embraced and she held on tight, still worrying. I knew she wouldn't stop worrying until I didn't come home; she'd be mourning instead.

I next visited my uncle. Someone had to take charge of the kingdom while I was gone, especially when I didn't return. Father would be even _more_ incapable- if that was possible –when I didn't return. It would likely kill him. Agravaine was the one I trusted most out of those who were staying behind. I handed him the ring bearing the Pendragon seal. "You must accept this. It carries the royal seal. In my absence, responsibility to the kingdom lies with you."

"What about your father?" He seemed confused

"If he dies, you'll assume the throne."

"Arthur—"

"You're the one man I trust, Uncle."

"I implore you, for the good of the kingdom, there has to be some other way." He pressed the ring back into my hand.

I put my hand on his shoulder. "I've made up my mind. I'm just thankful you're here." I left the ring in his hand. I meant every word I said; the fact that he'd protested proved that he was the right one.

The last place I visited was my chambers. Merlin had already packed and had gone to pack for himself. We were to meet in the square and walk out the gate where the rest of the Round Table knights should be waiting. I took a long look around my rooms then picked up my things. This was the hardest quest I'd attempted, probably because I _knew_ I wouldn't be coming back.

For once, everything worked out the way it should—I met Merlin and we walked out to meet the knights together. They were all mounted, waiting for us. There was no time to waste, so we quickly mounted, and took off, determined to ride until sunset.

At sunset, we stopped to camp in a sheltered area by a cave. I gave directions: "Elyan, take care of the horses, they want watering. I need a volunteer to collect wood."

I heard Merlin say, "I'll do it." The next time I turned around, Lancelot was missing. He and Merlin had been friends for a long time and he'd probably gone to help.

When they returned, we had dinner and went to bed rather early, keeping the fire going. I don't think the Dorocha disturbed us because I was never woken. At any rate, we'd determined to leave as early as possible after first light, so we could go as far as possible before nightfall.

xxxXxxx

In the morning we left very quickly, amazingly enough. Following the road was easier than I thought it would be. Bandits must be too scared to be out harassing anyone; I couldn't blame them. The downside to taking the road was all the bodies—villagers who hadn't made it to the safety of Camelot's citadel. _So many dead_. It left me sad but more determined to end this. "We have to make Daobeth by sunset," I told everyone. They picked up the pace. It would take hard riding to get there, but we could do it.

Shortly before sunset, we rode up to the crumbling fortress. It was a forbidding, lonely place, but it was shelter. "Pair up. Look for any kind of wood. Light some fires quickly," I directed. Like they needed the instruction, but order helped fight panic.

Everyone split up to collect firewood while carrying torches. The Dorocha's screams began, frightening all of us. We gathered together as screams started coming closer, surrounding us. A Dorocha launched itself at us and I warded it off with a torch.

"Let's go!" I yelled.

"We don't have enough wood!" Percival yelled back.

"Go!" I repeated. The knights ran back to the fire pit where we'd left Merlin and Lancelot. Merlin lit the wood we gathered. We gathered around the fire, facing outward. Most of us held torches. It was a good thing we'd slept last night, because probably none of us would sleep tonight.

"This won't last us all night," Percival whispered to me.

"We'll be safe enough for a while," I replied. One by one we settled down to wait out the night.

Sometime later, Gwaine threw a log on the fire and said, "That's the last one. We could draw lots; see who gets to find more."

"I'll go," I volunteered.

"You'll want help," Lancelot said.

"I'll help him," Merlin offered. _Of course_.

"You certain you're the best one?" I asked him, trying to keep things light.

He caught on. "Well, what makes you think you know how to gather firewood?" Well, I _had_ asked for that, and it worked. The knights chuckled.

I didn't actually pick up a thing. Merlin collected the firewood while I stood guard with a torch. Suddenly a Dorocha charged at us from behind. "Merlin!" I yelled, and dropped the torch to tackle Merlin out of the way. That knocked us off the wall we'd been on. "Let's go!" I yelled as we got up with amazing speed and ran through passages in the fortress. Finally we found a room with a door, went in and closed it behind us. The Dorocha seemed to lose interest.

We hid behind a corner in the room, breathing hard. Merlin tied a cloth around my injured arm. I guess I looked uncomfortable still, because he gave me a confused look. "It's cold," I said.

"Right," he commented.

"You don't feel it?"

"I c . . ." He shrugged and shook his head.

"You know, Merlin, you've more courage than I thought."

"Seriously? Was that praise?"

"Don't be thick." He chuckled and that made me respond in kind. Even at the worst of times he can get me to laugh. We sat back and listened to the screaming spirits. "All the terrors I've met . . . I was never concerned about dying." And I've faced some _horrible_ things, but this . . . it made me feel _vulnerable_. And I _hated_ that.

"I don't believe you should now," he replied.

I hadn't expected a response. "Sometimes you baffle me."

"You never figured me out?"

"No."

"I've always felt if matters had been different, we'd've been great friends."

"Yeah." That was truer than I cared to admit.

"That's if you hadn't been quite the conceited, supercilious, dollop head." I laughed again. "We'll beat the Dorocha. We will, Arthur, together." He was so serious—he really meant it.

"Well, I'm grateful for that. You really are a courageous man, Merlin. Between fights." He chuckled.

"You don't realize how often I've saved your life."

"Ha. If I do become king, I'm gonna make you court jester." We laughed together until the Dorocha shrieked closer to us. "I've heard that the darkest hour is just before the dawn."

"Seems rather dark _now_."

"It shouldn't be long then." The Dorocha suddenly screamed and swept through the door. I tried to get up, to stop it, but Merlin pulled me back and stood up, running straight for it. "Merlin, no!" I yelled, but he jumped into its path. It caught him in the chest, stopped him mid-air and threw him back against the wall.

Just then, Lancelot crashed through the door and warded off the Dorocha with his torch. Then he handed it to Percival and turned to me. I'd jumped up to meet him. "What happened?" he asked.

We ran to Merlin, who was lying on the floor next to the wall. So_ still_. The rest of the knights moved further into the room. We turned Merlin over to find him frozen over like the other corpses we'd found. I had no words for this—I thought I'd been scared before, but now . . .

* * *

**A/N- When I saw the transcript for this part, I was puzzled when I read "Samhain" in place of what I heard through my speakers (it sounded like "selwin" to my American ears, I don't know what y'all heard) That made me curious enough to look it up on Wikipedia (not 100% reliable, I know). I discovered that it's written/pronounced differently in different versions of Gaelic, and one version is "Sauin." To me, that sounds a lot like what I thought I heard (if that makes sense to you, congrats!). So now I have it all squared away in my head. Thus ends my "gee whiz" moment for the day. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Aaaand here's part 2, aka T_he Darkest Hour, Part 2_. Feel. The. Angst. LOL :)**

* * *

I was too frightened to move, so Lancelot checked Merlin's pulse and made sure he was breathing. By some miracle, he was still alive. I silently thanked all the Gods I could think of for that. Percival volunteered to carry him outside, where dawn was just breaking. Finally.

Percival laid Merlin against the fire pit. He sat there limply while Lancelot tended to him—putting a bit more wood on the fire and wrapping him in a blanket. "We need to take him back to Gaius," I stated.

"And give up the mission?" Leon replied.

"He saved my life, I can't have him die."

"Sire, we must go to the Isle of the Blessed or hundreds more will die." I looked back at Merlin. Do I save one or many? It's a debate I've had with myself before, but not like this, with my _best friend's_ life on the line.

"I'll take him," Lancelot volunteered. _Here was the answer_.

"Bearing an injured man alone; that'll take you two or three days to get back."

"Not if I pass through the Valley of the Fallen Kings. You can't abandon the mission."

"Sire, he's correct," Leon interjected. I nodded. No matter how much I wanted to take him back myself- because it _was_ my fault –I couldn't. There still were many more lives to save.

Percival carried Merlin to his horse; I secured him to it myself. "This is my mistake and I'm sorry," I told him.

"Please bring me with you," he pled. _What?!_

"You'd die, Merlin." I tried to stay matter-of-fact.

"But you don't realize . . . Please, Arthur." I could barely understand him.

"Do you ever do what you're ordered?"

"I must go with you." _Why?_ What did I do to deserve such devotion?

"Merlin—"

"We have to go," Lancelot said.

"Go." I squeezed Merlin's shoulder and sent him off with Lancelot, looking after them worriedly. Lancelot had _better_ take care of him, or there'd be hell to pay. I'd come back from the dead if I had to.

The rest of us packed up quickly and rode off. No one talked much; Merlin nearly dying had affected all of us. We stopped after a few hours to rest our bottoms. Everyone dismounted and we walked for a bit.

"Do you hear that?" Gwaine asked.

"Bees," Leon answered dubiously.

"Food," Gwaine replied with a smile. He walked to the honey tree and took off his glove.

"Aiming to get us killed?" Leon asked.

"We're heading to our deaths anyhow." Gwaine replied cheerfully. He put his hand in the tree.

Leon walked over to me. "It helps to let the horses rest." He paused when I didn't reply. "You seem subdued."

"That's the result of three days of listening to Gwaine." Leon smiled and chuckled. He knew that wasn't the real reason.

"You did the proper thing, you know. Merlin couldn't have kept up with us." I looked at him.

"I should've saved him."

Behind us, Gwaine made grunting noises and ran away from the honey tree. Leon and I turned to watch him swat at the bees now attacking him. He ran off into the woods to escape the bees. I rolled my eyes while Leon chuckled.

"If anyone can get Merlin safely home, it's Lancelot." Leon clapped me on the back and walked off. He was right though, Lancelot _would_ do it. He's almost as tenacious as I am.

We rode toward the Isle of the Blessed until sunset. When we reached the Tunnels of Andor, we stopped and dismounted. "We'll be on the far side of the mountains by dawn," I told the knights.

"You must be joking. These caves are _swarming_ with Wilddeoren," Gwaine replied.

"These caves will take _days_ off our trip."

"If we get out alive."

"We'll smear ourselves in Gaia berries."

"Ha. Sounds fantastic."

"It's your decision, Gwaine. Wilddeoren or Dorocha."

"I know what I'd prefer," Elyan interjected.

"Me too," Leon added.

Just as we entered the tunnels, we heard a Dorocha. But we were all inside, right? The sound came closer and Percival suddenly ran back out; I followed him with a torch. It looked like Percival had tackled Gwaine out of its way—they were both on the floor. The Dorocha came back then. "Quick!" I yelled and we retreated into the tunnels. _Of course_ I really wanted to be wandering through caves all night with flesh-eating giant rodents inside and shrieking spirits who freeze you to death outside. That was _much_ better than actually sleeping.

"Tell me again why we're covered in this revolting goo," Percival commented. He sounded as _thrilled_ as I was.

"Wilddeoren are totally blind, they depend completely on their sense of smell. Gaia berries will cover our scent," I replied, bored. If one more person asked me that, I'd . . .

"What are the odds of us making it through here without spotting a Wilddeoren?" Gwaine asked.

"None," I replied. Gwaine stumbled across a skull. I couldn't have highlighted my point any better if I'd set that skull there myself. He rushed from the back of the line to just behind me. _Ha!_

Just then we heard a pig-like squeal. "Shh!" I told them. Leon and I threw down our torches and stamped them out. We hid behind a long rock and peeked over the edge. Two Wilddeoren approached us. When one got close we ducked down, and I said, "Stay still. Don't even breathe." That Wilddeoren wandered off, much to our relief. Gwaine smiled, but it faded when the rest of us stared at him because a Wilddeoren was sniffing him. It pinned him hard against the rock and sniffed around his face. He finally got annoyed and killed it. _Oh no_. "You idiot," I complained.

"It's dead," Gwaine replied.

"That one is, yeah. They hunt in packs." Cue more pig-like squeals.

"Run," Elyan said. We wasted no time running through the tunnels, chased by Wilddeoren.

After what felt like forever, we managed to elude the Wilddeoren and escape the cave. That little adventure had taken all night. We were exhausted but alive as we washed off the Gaia berries in the stream.

"The men should rest, sire. Even Gwaine's gone silent," Leon commented.

"Seems like a great reason to keep walking," I replied, and we all stood up to resume our journey.

We were unfortunately slowed by our lack of horses, so we didn't make it as far as I thought we should. We'd been forced to camp in the woods; no other shelter was nearby. Someone built a fire and we lit torches from it. I went to stand watch while the others sat around the campfire. Someone approached me, but I didn't turn.

"Spotted anything?" Elyan asked. I shook my head. "Do you know what we'll meet on the Isle of the Blessed?" I nodded this time. "Want to enlighten me?" he pressed.

"The duty's mine and mine to handle _alone_," I said.

"Look around, Arthur." He motioned for me to look at the knights behind us, around the campfire. "We would battle a thousand armies with our bare hands for you. We're not alone. We stay together. Get on over there, I'll take watch." He reached out to take my torch. "You must rest." I handed him the torch and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Thank you." I patted him on the back as I walked away. Then a Dorocha shrieked nearby and we both ran to the fire. We made a circle around it, facing outward. This was getting to be a habit, unfortunately.

After a while, the Dorocha seemed to find better targets and left us alone. We were able to sleep in shifts all night, which improved our moods in the morning. The day was spent walking, following the sun westward. Nothing significant happened to us and we made it to another abandoned fortress before nightfall. We made a campfire right away, making sure to pile plenty of extra wood nearby.

When night fell, we sat around the fire and tried to relax. We succeeded until Gwaine decided to take off his boots and socks.

"Did something die?" Elyan asked. He and Leon gagged at the smell.

"How come I'm always the butt?" Gwaine asked.

"Can't imagine," Leon replied sarcastically. He and Elyan got up to join Percival and me on the other side of the campfire.

"Tease Percival," Gwaine shot back.

"Why me?" Percival defended.

"He bathes," Elyan replied.

"And he doesn't light his socks on fire," Leon pointed out.

"Ugh! No!" Gwaine snatched his socks from the fire and tried to put them out. The rest of us grinned. Funniest thing to happen all day.

I heard a sound in the darkness. "Quiet," I ordered. We all heard a gate open in the distance and drew our swords. Then we stood up and moved into formation. We held our defensive stance until a figure walked into the light. "_Lancelot?_ How's Merlin?"

"Terrible news. He's still alive." Lancelot smiled and stepped aside as Merlin walked up behind him. I laughed in relief.

"Merlin!" Elyan exclaimed. I think he spoke for all of us. The rest of the knights came forward; most hugged him while I watched. If no one else had been around, I might have too. I wanted to. I just shook Lancelot's hand and gave Merlin a shoulder squeeze.

"Nice to see you, Merlin," I told him simply. He knows what I really mean.

"Yeah. It's nice to see you too," he replied. I just looked at him for a minute. He _knew_. I practically yanked him over to the fire, to help dissipate all this sentiment hanging around.

After a bit more chatting, the rest of our group went to sleep. Merlin and I took watch, though there was nothing to watch for. The Dorocha were strangely silent. We ate as we lounged by the fire.

"It will be fine. Everything will be all right," he said, reading my mind.

"I'm just worn out," I replied, and turned away. I didn't want him to read me right now, when I felt so vulnerable.

He spoke again after a few moments. "You don't need to sacrifice your life."

I looked back at him. "To save my people."

"Let me take your place."

I shook my head. "Merlin."

"What's the life of a servant weighed against that of a prince?" He was serious. _Too serious_.

"Well, a decent servant's difficult to come by." I tried to make light of it; I couldn't handle the alternative.

"I'm not _that_ decent."

"True." _Ha_. He'd stumbled right into that. But . . . "One thing. Take care of Guinevere; I wish for her to be happy all her days. She deserves that."

"Don't be concerned. I'll look after her."

We didn't say anything else for the rest of our watch. Things had gotten a bit too maudlin. But we were all able to wake up and get going before dawn. When the sun came up, it was still dark due to the overcast sky. _What a cheerful beginning to the day_.

It wasn't a long walk to the Seas of Meredor. We paused just above them to get a look at the forbidding isle in the center. It was shrouded in fog, but one could see the ruined fortress. "The Isle of the Blessed," I commented. We walked along the shore until we found a ferryman to take us to the isle. The crossing was silent, save for the screeching sounds along the way. I didn't want to contemplate what that might be.

We finally drew up to the entrance and disembarked. The screeching grew louder at the same time. _Just great_.

"What's that?" Leon asked, looking up. We drew our swords.

"I sincerely hope I'm mistaken," Gwaine said.

He wasn't mistaken—a wyvern flew down at us. "Wyvern!" I yelled, and slashed at it when I dived at us. More wyverns joined the fight then Percival got slashed and fell to the ground.

"You're right!" Leon yelled.

Merlin crouched down to hide while the rest of us scanned the sky continually. I heard something hissing or growling and looked around to see what it could be, but my attention was drawn away by the wyverns that suddenly stopped their attack and flew away. Merlin was standing again.

"Ha! That's how you handle them," Gwaine announced proudly. _Yeesh_.

"We have to keep going," I ordered, not wanting to wait around until they came back. I don't know what made them retreat, but we needed to take advantage of their absence. In fact, more wyverns circled overhead as we entered another passageway.

"Sire, you must keep going! We'll take care of them!" Leon yelled. I didn't want to split up, but he had a point. I kept running, Lancelot, Gwaine and Merlin behind me. Leon, Percival, and Elyan remained outside to handle the wyverns.

"Good luck," Gwaine yelled back to them.

The four of us soon entered a huge, central courtyard with an altar. The view of the opposite side was marred by a huge, black column of what looked like smoke. _Was this the tear?_

"It isn't often we entertain guests," sad an ancient-sounding female voice. A figure dressed in a black, ragged dress and cloak appeared at the base of the tear. She looked as pale as death and held a strange staff. _Maybe she _was_ death_.

"Stop this. I command you to mend the tear between worlds," I stated.

"It wasn't I who caused this rupture. So why should I repair it?" she replied.

"Because innocent people are dying," Merlin interjected. _Merlin?_

"Naturally," she replied, and started laughing maniacally. Gwaine roared in anger and charged her with his sword raised. She threw him back with magic, which knocked him out. "This is the best you can do?" she taunted.

"I know what you require," I told her

"Do you? And are you ready to give it to me?" She asked this like she already knew what I was going to do. Maybe she did.

"I'm ready to pay, whatever the cost." She motioned for me to come to her. After a moment, I started walking toward her. Suddenly some force stopped me and threw me backwards. I hit the floor and blacked out.

xxxXxxx

When I woke, I saw Gwaine sitting close to me, rubbing the back of his head. Merlin sat between us. The strange woman was nowhere to be seen; neither was the tear. In fact, the sky had cleared and the sun was shining brightly over us.

Merlin glumly told us about Lancelot's sacrifice. We sat there, the three of us, pondering that for a minute. On one hand, I was grateful to him and relieved that I hadn't had to die after all. On the other, I felt selfish about my relief and grief about losing the brave and noble knight. After a while, we got up and walked to where we'd left the other three. The wyverns had mysteriously flown away once the sun had come out.

When they saw our faces drawn despite our victory, I told them about Lancelot. Merlin was reluctant to retell the story. Now all of us were depressed. We walked somberly to the entrance and rode the boat back across the sea in silence.

The journey back home should have joyful—we had saved Camelot. But our victory was marred. We talked some, but when _his_ name came up, we stopped abruptly. It seemed to take twice as long to get back as it did to go there, but it didn't. Not really. The depression just made it feel that way.

A joyful crowd greeted us in the square as we rode up. But many faces fell when they saw our demeanor. I quietly called the council together and reported the events of our quest. Many were saddened; despite Lancelot's commoner background, he had quietly worked himself into the hearts of many. A memorial service was to be held the next day, but the news wasn't to be spread.

After the meeting broke up, I asked Guinevere to meet me in my chambers after dinner. I knew she and Lancelot had been _very_ close at one time, and she deserved to hear his story from _me_. She immediately burst into tears and was inconsolable until very late at night, when I finally convinced her to go to bed.

xxxXxxx

In the morning, Merlin helped me prepare for the service, the first part of which would be held in the council chambers. The full court had assembled, and I opened my mouth to speak to them.

"I wish to pay homage to Sir Lancelot. We are greatly indebted to him. It isn't only his act that we'll always remember. It's his bravery. His compassion. His selfless heart. He was the noblest knight I'll ever know. He sacrificed his life for every one of us."

After my speech, those who would reconvene for the funeral in the courtyard did so. All of the knights and most of the army had assembled there. A pyre had been built, but since we had no body, we used a spare knight's cape and sword as proxy. I placed these on the pyre while Merlin brought me a torch to light it. I took it without looking and tossed it on the pyre. I could feel the sorrow and solemnity of everyone behind me. Especially Guinevere's. I knew she'd be crying; I couldn't blame her. I saw the sword begin to steam in the flames and walked back and took Guinevere's hand.

She spoke after a few moments; the men had started to leave. "He didn't give his life for Camelot. I asked him to watch over you and he pledged to do so with his life. He held fast to his word." I thought about what she'd just said, then placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. I left her by the pyre so she could mourn in private.

He sacrificed himself for _me_? Or had he sacrificed himself for _Guinevere_ so she wouldn't lose me? I knew how he'd felt about her. He hid it pretty well, but not from those who knew him best. Maybe he did it for both of us; because it would end the constant pain he must have been in. To always be around the one you loved and not be able to act on your feelings . . . well, I know what that's like. But I am choosing to remember him as the bravest and most noble knight I ever knew.

* * *

**The next chapter . . . will end with several recitations of "Long Live the King." woooo!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Get ready for more princely angst morphing into kingly angst- Arthur's view in _The Wicked Day_. I do think Uther gets _some_ redemption in this one, but it's too little too late, mwah ha ha ha. When I saw this episode, I thought "finally!" I'd been waiting for His Nastiness to die since the first episode, though he was very well played. :) Buckle up, this one's over 7.7K words (not counting the AN's).**

* * *

Today _should_ be a nice, relaxing and _fun_ day for me—it's my birthday. But it's not. I've got too much to worry about, and those worries won't take a day off just because I want them to. Between my father, my sister and the rest of the kingdom's affairs, there's no time for fun. At least that's what I thought.

Suddenly there was noise outside in the square. _What now?_ Merlin, the big kid, opened the window and stuck his head out. "Oh! Would you look at that?" he asked.

I walked over to look; oh, those weird performers again. They do all sorts of tricks with their words and their bodies, and I've seen many groups like this before. Whose bright idea was it to hire this one? "It's a man tossing batons in the air," I replied and walked away. _Ho hum_.

He noticed my mood and followed me. "What's the matter?" I made a face at him; he's bright enough to understand _that_ message. "It's your birthday. A massive feast is being arranged just for you. You've got dancers, jugglers and acrobats to amuse you. It must be a horrible inconvenience."

_Not a clue_. "Maybe I'm not as easily impressed as you."

"I'm certainly anticipating it."

"That proves you have the mentality of a child." I had things to do and started walking away.

"But I'm still smarter than you." Clearly I wasn't meant to hear that. _Too bad_.

I didn't look back as I called out, "I heard that." And just like that, I'm one up on him.

xxxXxxx

As part of my day, I met with the court and council. After those meetings, I always went to visit Father. Even if he isn't actively ruling, he should know what's happening. I'm not sure how aware he is of the world around him, but as long as he's ill, I want him to feel he has a part in the running of his kingdom. I sat with him at his place near his window. I started off with, "The Court talked about the annual tax this morning. The council has proposed we increase it, but I think the people are encumbered enough. . ."

He surprised me by cutting me off. "We shouldn't speak about court affairs today." He looked agitated about something, which got me worried.

"Father?" I asked, still uncertain. He just smiled.

"Did you think I wouldn't remember that today is the anniversary of your birth?" He seemed almost indignant; a little bit of his old self was coming through. That was a relief. He leaned forward a bit to continue,"I hear there are plans for proper festivities this evening?"

"A feast, and, um, some amusements. I'll share it with you tomorrow." He wouldn't want to go, would he?

"Nonsense. You believe I'd ignore my son's anniversary?" He keeps surprising me today!

After we finished talking, I made arrangements with Guinevere and others to help get Father ready for the evening. It was going to be so nice to have him at a feast again!

xxxXxxx

By the time the feast began, my mood had lightened considerably—_Father would be there_! Everyone I considered a friend would be there, and Guinevere. And these performers _did_ have a few tricks I hadn't seen before, so I relaxed and began to enjoy myself. At one point I looked at Father; he was smiling and laughing just like he used to do. I smiled back and we clinked our goblets. After one particularly spectacular act by the acrobats and jugglers, the Gleeman stepped forward to speak. Silence fell.

"I need a volunteer . . ." he said as he walked toward me at the head table. "Prince Arthur. What finer or more suitable occasion for you to prove your legendary bravery?" He really put me on the spot there; I didn't have any choice _but_ to accept. _Legendary bravery_ and all. "Will you take the challenge?" I didn't look around, but I could feel the eyes of the courtiers and knights on me as they awaited my decision.

I stood and said, "Certainly." There was a round of applause as I made my way through the hall. Merlin intercepted me.

"Is it safe . . ?" he asked. _That's a dumb question_.

"It's knife throwing, Merlin. Obviously it isn't safe. I couldn't turn down his challenge." Everyone's eyes were still on me, so I took off my cloak and jacket and gave them to Merlin. It was an excuse to cover the real reason for our conversation. Can't have anyone questioning my "legendary bravery."

I walked over to the circular board where the gleeman was waiting for me. I smiled at the crowd, to reassure them I was okay with this, and his men began tying my ankles and wrists to the restraints on the board. I got slightly nervous when the little man got to my ankles though. I don't like being restrained.

The gleeman must have seen my apprehension. "Don't worry, my Lord. I always hit my target."

"Great. Pleased to hear it," I said loudly, so everyone could see I _wasn't_ nervous. Hopefully they bought my act.

The gleeman pulled an apple out of nowhere and turned to me. "May I?" he asked.

"What?" was all I got out before he shoved the apple into my mouth. The room quieted again and I noticed a few apprehensive looks as the gleeman nodded to the little man, who started pushing the wheel.

The court made "ooh" sounds. _Great_. I spun around on the board and started to feel dizzy and a little nauseous. Another little man gave a case to the gleeman, and he pulled out a knife. He held the blade up for the crowd to see. He suddenly turned and threw the knife at me without even stopping to take aim. It stuck into the board, just a couple of inches from my head. A huge gasp went around the room, followed by applause. Father was particularly impressed, I noticed. Guinevere put a hand over her face; I wish I could. All I could do was eye the knife warily. The gleeman took the next knife, waited a bit to build tension then suddenly threw it. It hit the board on the other side of my head. I heard another round of applause before the gleeman took the final knife from the case. Guinevere closed her eyes and looked away for a moment. The gleeman waved the final knife at Father, who nodded his permission. Guinevere bit her nails and looked nervously at me. I got a little scared then—the gleeman looked particularly menacing as he threw the knife. I watched it come right toward my head . . . it sliced into something, not wood, but I didn't feel any pain. The crowd gasped and went silent for a moment until the wheel stopped. I opened my eyes and saw the knife stuck straight into the apple. The hall erupted in applause. Guinevere looked as relieved as I felt. The gleeman bowed and another man helped me down from the wheel.

I tossed the apple and caught it, then shrugged back into my jacket with Merlin's help. "See, Merlin? Not a thing to fret over." He really did worry about nothing sometimes. I took a bite of the apple and walked off toward my knights. We exchanged a few words and celebrated my victory. This really had turned out to be a great day.

A little while later I started feeling a little woozy. Some part of my brain wondered at that, since I hadn't had that much to drink. Then I started feeling worse and signaled to Merlin to help me get to my room. I pushed the door a little too hard and it flew open. I staggered in, suddenly too tired to stay on my feet. Merlin followed me a little closer than normal, probably so he could catch me if I fell. The ground felt wobbly too. That really didn't help.

"You're saying you weren't even slightly worried?" he asked. We'd been discussing that Wheel of Death thing. Incident. _Whatever_.

I pulled out my belt. "Naturally I wasn't. I'm a warrior. You learn to manage your fright. To focus it . . ." I stopped when I walked into a column. Ow. _Who put that there?_ Merlin caught me and stopped me from falling over. _Good thing he's here_. I righted myself and continued walking and undressing.

"You seemed frightened . . ." Thanks, _meh_.

"It's nice to see my father having a good time." I sat on my bed. "He seemed a little subdued towards the end, though. Maybe I should pay him a visit." I stood up and started walking toward the door.

"Are you certain that's a good plan? You can hardly stay upright." _Well that was rude_.

"Are you implying I'm drunk?" I stopped to glare at him but he wasn't looking.

"No, I'm implying that I don't think you should be strolling about the castle."

"Why might that be?" _Feel my glare_—he _still_ didn't look.

"You aren't wearing any trousers."

I looked down and saw that I was indeed trouser-less. _Rats, he's right_. "Good point." I hitched up my trousers and walked out the door.

When I got out into the corridor I let out an enormous yawn. I was struggling to keep my eyes open as I passed the two guards outside the doors to Father's chambers. When I got inside, I saw Father sitting in his chair, sleeping. I took the goblet from his hand and put it on the table there before sinking into the other chair. I tried to fight the tiredness sweeping over me, but it was a losing battle. _Maybe I should go back to my chambers_.

Just as I was drifting to sleep, I caught a glimpse of the gleeman in the wine pitcher. I stood up sluggishly and drew my sword to parry his blow. The force of his strike made me stagger backwards. I was just too sleepy and disoriented, but I _had_ to call for help, "Guards . . ! Guards!"

My voice was weak like the rest of me. Usually I felt stronger than this before bed. He attacked again and I barely managed to fight him off. After I parried a couple of times, he knocked my sword out of my hand and across the room. I collapsed to my knees, too tired to continue. What should have been an easy fight to win wasn't, and I didn't understand why.

The gleeman stood over me. "Goodbye, Arthur Pendragon." He raised his sword, ready to strike. _This is it for me_. But as he swung down, the blow was blocked by a sword from nowhere. We looked up to see Father standing there, my sword in hand.

"A wretch like you could never murder my son," he spat at my attacker. I collapsed to the floor while the gleeman struck at Father, who blocked it.

They traded a series of ferocious blows, but the gleeman was skilled and Father was rusty. He was beaten back and only narrowly avoided being impaled, several times. I tried to get to my feet to help Father, but I was just too drowsy and collapsed back to the floor. Father attacked, and again the gleeman easily deflected the blows. It looked like he was toying with Father, taunting him to death.

That was proven by his next words: "Do you have anything to tell your son before I slay him?"

I'd made it to my hands and knees somehow. I saw Father look at me, and he seemed to gain a second wind. He attacked with new ferocity, taking the gleeman by surprise. He rained blow after blow down on the gleeman, forcing him back and knocking the sword from his hand. I watched Father prepare to deliver a fatal blow, so when he did I was relieved. It was over. But then he didn't move. In fact, he looked weak and confused.

"Father?" I asked. When he didn't respond I realized something was _very_ wrong. His legs buckled and I caught him as he sunk to the floor by the bed. I saw something staining his tunic; I put my hand on the spot. When I pulled it away it was covered in blood. The gleeman must have stabbed him with something while I couldn't see. I fought to stay conscious—I had to get him help. "No . . . Guards! . . . I'll go find help . . ." I made to stand but stopped when Father spoke.

"Don't leave me . . ." I couldn't move _now_.

"I'm here, Father . . ." I waited a moment then yelled out. "Guards! Anyone! We need help!"

"It's my time . . ."

"No . . . You cannot die . . ." _Would forbidding him work?_

"I know you'll make me proud. You always have. You'll be a remarkable King . . ." He looked up at me and I nearly lost it.

"I'm not ready . . ." _No!_

"You—you've been ready for a while, Arthur . . ."

"No. I need you . . ." _I can't do this without you_—

"I know I haven't been a . . . a good father. I put my responsibility to Camelot first. I'm sorry." I shook my head. _No!_

"No . . . You can't say that . . ." He gripped my hand with all his remaining strength. That's when I lost it. After years of restraining tears I just gave up, and they began falling.

"But remember this one thing: I've always loved you . . ." His eyes slowly closed as he lost consciousness. I was beyond horrified. _Where were the guards? Was no one coming to help?_

"No . . . Father . . . Father!" I was losing the ability to stay awake, to focus. "No . . ." I _had_ to stay with him. Help _had_ to come sometime.

xxxXxxx

After some time, the unusual tiredness faded and I was able to find guards and summon Gaius. The guards who'd been near Father's room had been murdered. _The gleeman_. If he hadn't been dead _nothing_ would have stopped me from hunting him down and . . . well, I didn't have to worry about that.

It took Gaius a long time to figure out exactly what had happened to Father. He'd been carefully moved to his bed, and looked to be sleeping peacefully. _But he wasn't_. Guinevere came soon after; someone had thought to wake her and I was grateful. She looked after Father after I'd thrown Gaius a desperate "talk to me" look.

"Gaius. Can you heal him?" I asked when we were alone.

"The knife has pierced his heart. He's bleeding internally," he told me. Even _I_ knew that was awful.

"There has to be something . . . there has to be _something_ you can do. _Please_, Gaius."

He shook his head. "It's only a matter of time, I fear. I'm sorry, Arthur." I couldn't accept that. I stared at Father, struggling to believe that he was going to die. _It just doesn't seem possible_.

xxxXxxx

Later on, I stood in the council room. I'd put Agravaine and Sir Leon in charge of tracing the assassin's origin. They returned in the afternoon to report. I could barely focus on what Agravaine was saying. The best I could manage was a blank stare and small nods.

"We tracked the assassin to the village of Whenham. It's in Odin's kingdom. It appears he paid him to kill you in retaliation for the loss of his son." _Small nod_. "We think he had a collaborator amidst the entertainers, but he's escaped the city. We've increased the guard, should there be any further attempts on your life." _Another nod_. My uncle must have noticed my mood; he stepped up to me and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Everybody's thoughts are with you, Arthur. But, if I can do anything . . ."

"Your consideration means a lot to me. Thank you." Sensing I was going to say no more, Agravaine and Sir Leon headed out just as Merlin entered. He'd have come from Gaius . . . "Any news of my father?"

"There's no change," he replied.

_That wasn't good enough!_ "Well, why isn't Gaius sorting it out, then?" I snapped.

He didn't take the bait. "Because there's nothing he can do." He knew how to defuse me—I knew that was true. The inability of any of us to act is what _really_ pained me. Picking fights does no good.

I'd run out of distractions; Leon and Agravaine had quietly taken on most of my duties today, despite the other work I'd given them. I returned to Father's room. This is where my thoughts and my heart lie anyway. Once there, I stood beside Father's bed just staring at him. If I could make him live through sheer force of will, surely he'd be up and around by now. But that would never work.

Guinevere broke me from my thoughts when she crossed over to the bed. She bent down to change the dressing on his wound. She was probably the only one who could distract me right now.

"I'm grateful for your compassion, all you're doing for him," I told her.

"I do it for you," she replied. That tipped me over the precarious emotional ledge I stood on. I had to look away from her. "Oh, Arthur." _Kind, compassionate Gwen_.

"I can't see him die . . . There's just so much I need to tell him . . . he _cannot_ die." Suddenly I couldn't take the empathy streaming from her, so I left. _Maybe if I keep moving I can work off this frustration_ . . .

Next I ended up in my chambers. Merlin stood at the window, looking down at something. I wandered over to see what he was staring at now. Such a big difference from yesterday, making fun of his village-boy fascination with the jugglers.

"What's happening?" I asked him.

"It's a vigil for the King. The people want to convey their grief," he replied. _What? That's not right_.

_Grief_. The word unsettled me. "Why are they acting like he's already gone when there's yet life in his body?"

"They're readying themselves for the worst."

I steeled myself. "They might quit hoping, but I won't." _That's really what they were doing_.

"I know. It's difficult to believe, and I prefer it not be so, but . . . there truly is nothing to do."

I thought for a moment. "There's one method to heal my father." It's been floating through my mind all day.

"How?" He sounded dubious. I couldn't really blame him. The very thought was treasonous.

I hesitated then gave him a look that dared him to counter me. "Magic." I would have laughed at the stunned look on his face if this hadn't been a life or death situation. But then I sent him to Gaius, because if anyone knew someone who could help, it was Gaius.

I waited impatiently for his return. No doubt he had to do a lot of convincing of the old physician. It was probably the most foreign idea that had been presented to him—the son of the man who outlawed magic wanted its help. _Was I insane?_

When Merlin came back, I walked toward him quickly. "Well? What did Gaius tell you? Did he know anything?"

"He didn't know a lot. But he's learned of a sorcerer. An old man. He dwells in the Forest of Glaestig. Gaius believes he might be willing to aid you," he said.

"Will he take me to him?"

"No, he's shared what he knows. We'll have to locate him ourselves."

I thought about all this for a moment. Was I really ready to break the law? "If you were me, if it was your father; would you use magic to save his life?"

Merlin looked me in the eye, not hesitating. In fact, he spoke so quickly I almost didn't understand him. "Yes, I would. I would do whatever it took."

I looked away for a moment. He was so sure, and that's all it took for me. "Ready the horses. Collect supplies. We leave at first light."

After he left, I realized I had some other decisions to make. Like, who, if anyone, should I tell about what I'm doing? _Exactly_ what I'm doing. Who could I trust with this knowledge? I wanted to tell Guinevere, but she'd been hurt by magic so many times. The knights were all sworn to my father, honor-bound to tell him about _anything_ related to magic. I was left with the man I'd trusted when I thought I'd had to sacrifice my life. Agravaine.

I went to his chambers, closing the door behind me. This was no casual chat. He was reading something at his table. He was surprised to see me but stood when I came in. "Arthur. Any news of your father's condition?" he asked.

"No improvement, I fear." I hesitated, unsure how to express what I needed to say.

"You're deliberating something." He must have sensed my hesitation.

I walked toward him. "I didn't want to go around you. I've chosen to use magic to heal my father."

He looked more shocked than Merlin had. "I would firmly counsel you against this plan."

"There's no other means . . ."

"Magic brought about your mother's death, Arthur. If you revere her memory _at all_, you won't do this." _That's true_. _Am I really thinking clearly here?_

"You would watch my father die?" He looked taken aback at this argument. I know he was mother's brother, but surely he valued my father?

"Maybe it is his time." _That's_ his counterargument? I _cannot_ accept that.

"I know both of us have grieved because of magic, but I can't sit here and watch my father die. I've made up my mind." Clearly he's not going to agree, but I'm not letting his opinion stop me. I _will_ find this sorcerer and persuade him to help me. I _won't_ give up.

xxxXxxx

For once Merlin had done as he'd been told and we were actually ready to leave at first light. Fortunately the place wasn't far off the beaten path and we didn't run into a single bandit. It was odd that a known sorcerer would live in such an noticeable place instead of some hovel deep in the woods, but I wasn't going to complain.

I looked at the house. "Are you certain this is the right spot? It seems like a charcoal maker's hut," I said.

"The old man can't really support himself by practicing magic. Probably a lot of sorcerers are in the charcoal trade," he replied. _Is he serious?_ That was the _stupidest_ theory I'd ever heard. And he's had some _stupid_ theories in the five years he's been with me. I gave him a look then handed him my reins. After a moment I realized Merlin hadn't followed me.

"Are you coming with me?"

"We don't want to confuse him. I don't think he gets many guests. I'll wait out here and mind the horses." _What the?_ Was this the same guy who was _literally _dying to face the Dorocha with me?

"I've never known anyone who is so afraid so often. Shout like a big girl if there's a problem." _I hope that stung_.

"Don't worry. You'll hear me." _Huh, no sarcasm_. _Oh well_.

I walked to the door of the hut and knocked on it. The door creaked open slightly bur there was no answer, so I pushed it in and looked inside. It _looked_ like a charcoal maker's hut. _Hmm_. "Hello . . ?" I asked the empty hut. No answer. I went back outside and found Merlin running toward the nearby trees. _Now what?_ "No one's here. Are you really certain this is the place?"

"I'm completely sure of it. I'm certain he'll return shortly." _Wha?_

"Wait, how d'you know when he'll return?"

"He's a doddery old man. He can't have walked very far. If you want his help, you'll simply have to wait for him in the hut." He looked kind of shifty, like he was impatient to go somewhere or do something.

"Where are you slinking off to?" _Nailed_.

"I need to pee." _Ugh_. I _had_ to ask. "So if you don't want to come and see me, you should go inside to wait for him."

_Double ugh_. "Why would I want to see you?"

He pointed toward the hut, exasperated. "There's the hut. I need to . . . go take it easy."

_O-kay_. I didn't believe him, but the alternative was unpleasant _at_ _best_. I eyed him suspiciously then turned and headed back inside the hut. At least things are a little more interesting in here. I poked around at a few dusty old bottles and pots on the table. I turned and knocked over a bottle, which knocked a pot off the table. It fell to the floor and shattered. _Uh oh_. I kicked the pieces of broken pot under the table to hide them. Suddenly the door opened and I tensed—it was the old sorcerer who'd escaped the pyre. _What was his name? Dragoon the Great?_

"_You_," I said with contempt.

He made a disgusted noise and said, "So again we meet, Arthur Pendragon." I instinctively reached for the hilt of my sword. The old man reacted by saying, "You've come to kill me?" _A logical assumption_.

I stared at him warily, uncertain how to proceed. _The truth usually works_. "No. That wasn't my plan." He walked toward me but stopped when he heard a _crunch_—the broken pot. He looked down at it. _How mad would he be?_ "I smashed a pot."

Another disgusted noise. "You've always been a clumsy oaf," he said as he handed me a broom.

_What?_ "Pardon me?"I asked indignantly, but started what I thought was sweeping.

Now he sounded amused. "So if you haven't come here to kill me, why have you come? I'm guessing you didn't trek all this way just to break my favorite pot?"

_Ugh! I'm done with this!_ "If I'd guessed who you were, I wouldn't have bothered." I started walking away; it wasn't worth it.

"I sensed you may have come to ask that I use magic to heal your father?" I stopped and turned around at these words.

That was a surprise—_he knew_. "How did you know?"

"I know things beyond your comprehension." _Oh really?_

And they call _me_ arrogant. "Well, since you hate my father and all he stands for, I've obviously had a pointless trip." I made to leave again, but halted at his next words.

"Do not assume that you know my thoughts." _Say what?_

I looked at him desperately; he _was_ my last hope. "Will you help me?"

"You are requesting I save the life of a man that would see me killed." He sounded perturbed.

I walked to him. "I realize what I'm asking of you, and you've no cause to help me. But . . . you're my father's last hope. I'll grant you whatever you want. Land, gold—choose your price." _Anything! Just save him_. I meant it.

"I don't desire your gold! All I've ever desired is that people like me can dwell in peace. That we who use magic are accepted, rather than hounded. That's all I want." I didn't expect that; it's a hefty price. I'm not sure I can meet that demand. "That is my price. Your father's life."

I thought for a moment. This was even _bigger_ than asking for magic's help. This was _accepting_ it completely, _embracing_ it and all its practitioners. _Changing_ the law. _Could I do it? Was it worth it?_ _Yes_. "I give you my solemn word. When I am King, things will be changed. You won't have to live in terror."

The old man took this in; he seemed moved by my declaration. He smiled and walked over to me. "Then I will help you." Those words gave me great hope. He grabbed my hand and shook it excitedly. He chuckled and I joined him, too amazed for words at the moment.

"We have no time mess around. We need to ride for Camelot at once." I clapped him on the shoulder and walked toward the door.

"Now?" He seemed surprised.

"My father fades quickly," I reminded him.

"But I don't have . . . a horse." _Why did he want to delay?_

"You may ride Merlin's. He'll simply have to walk home." The old man seemed outraged at this.

"You'd force your servant to walk back to Camelot? I may just decide _not_ to help you." _What?! No_.

Now _I'm_ exasperated. "I don't mind _whose_ horse you ride. We must get to Camelot before he dies."

He appeared to think this over. "First, I need to collect some rare herbs. They're a crucial bit of the cure. I'll come to Camelot at nightfall. If you desire my help, that is how it must be."

I sensed he was at his breaking point; I couldn't push him any further. "Meet me at the lower gate past the town . . . promise me you'll be there."

"You have my promise," He said solemnly. I believed him. I turned to go, but turned back when he spoke again. "Now, simply wait here a few moments."

_This guy is mercurial!_ "Why?"

"Questions. Too many questions. Just once in your life would you do what you're asked?" He stomped past me and out the door. I was totally confused but obeyed. I'd annoyed him enough, I guess.

"Okay," I replied, and sat down at the table. I found a curious-looking cup and sniffed it. It smelled awful so I put it down and saved it when it fell. But my patience has limits and I'd reached them after a couple minutes, so I left the hut and looked around. There was no sign of Merlin or the old man. Was the whole world going crazy or was it just me?

"Merlin . . ?" I asked the air, and got nothing but silence. _Big surprise_. After a moment, I heard twigs cracking. That made me uneasy, so I scanned the trees and reached for the hilt of my sword. Merlin stumbled out from behind the trees, groaning and stretching. _Suspiciously_. "What were you doing?"

He gave me a look like he was surprised I would ask. "Peeing."

_Ugh_. Was he _trying_ to disturb me? "You're telling me you were peeing the whole time I was inside?"

He nodded and starting walking toward me. "I really had to go."

_Dis-gust-ing_. "There is obviously something really wrong with you." He gave me a funny look, but we got on the horses and rode away, back to Camelot. As soon as we got there, Merlin jumped off and ran inside. I'd have asked where he was going, but after this afternoon, I had a pretty good idea. _Yuk_.

xxxXxxx

I had no idea Merlin would be gone for the rest of the day when he'd run off this afternoon. It was nearly nightfall and I had to meet the sorcerer soon. I stomped down to Gaius's chambers to see if he was there. I didn't wait until I was inside to yell at him. "Merlin!?" I got to the door and heard some shuffling around. I yelled through the door, "Merlin!?" I opened the door and saw Gaius pick up a book, pretending to be in the middle of reading.

"Arthur . . ." he said, faking surprise.

"Gaius, have you seen my worthless toad of a servant?" He'd better not try to cover for him _again_.

"Not recently."

"Well, where in the world is he?" He looked like I'd put him on the spot. I probably had.

"Have you checked the tavern?"

Now I'm angry. "The tavern. Naturally. I'll have him wishing he was never born." I left to head for the tavern. I couldn't think of a suitable punishment right now, but I'm sure I would before long. Maybe I should just leave a standing order there to refuse Merlin service and send him away. _That could work_.

When I got there, Merlin was nowhere to be found. I was so annoyed I forgot to leave the order. This stupid detour had made me almost late to meet the sorcerer. I hurried over there to wait, getting more and more irritated by the minute.

I had nearly no patience left by the time I heard footsteps behind me and turned round to see the old man emerge from the darkness. "I'd begun to think you changed your mind," I told him.

"I promised you I would come. And here I am," he replied.

"Great. We have to hurry." I started walking away from the palace, toward the tunnels.

He made a surprised noise. I stopped and turned back to him. "I thought that the King's Palace was that way?" He pointed back at the palace.

_True_. But I wanted to roll my eyes. "I can't be spotted walking in the main gate with a known sorcerer."

He was taken aback and immediately came to the wrong conclusion. "So you're already breaking your word. You promised that I wouldn't have to live in terror any longer."

_Ugh. How do I put this?_ "You forgot that you haven't healed my father yet. When you do, you'll receive all that I promised." He thought a moment then nodded. I gestured for him to walk ahead of me, and we were off.

I hurried through the dark, damp passage and turned to see the old man lagging behind. _Frustrating!_ I was forced to wait for him to catch up. When he got to me, he was out of breath. "Is this truly as fast as you can go?" I asked, supremely impatient.

"When you're as old as I, we'll find out how fast you can totter. I must rest a minute," he replied testily.

"We don't have time."

"Maybe you should carry me then?" _Really?! Argh!_

"All right. If it gets us there faster, I'll carry you." I turned and backed up to him. "Get on." He climbed awkwardly onto my back and we were off, again. Just then, he kicked me with both heels, like I was a horse. _That was annoying!_ "Did you just kick me?" _The sooner we're done, the better_.

"Now who's taking up time? Yah!" I staggered onward, completely disgruntled. He kicked me again, clearly enjoying himself. "Faster. Faster."

When this was over, this cranky old sorcerer was leaving as soon as possible. I may have to accept magic and magicians, but I really hoped I'd never have to see _this_ one again. He seemed to take great pleasure in cutting me down. Either he hated me a lot or he had no fear and just liked poking fun. I couldn't really tell and had no time to ponder it.

When we got near the corridor outside Father's chambers, I set the old man down. I walked around the corner and approached the guards cautiously. "You're dismissed," I told them.

They hesitated, surprised by the order. "But, Sire. We were directed to stay at our post."

"And I dismissed you."

"Yes, my Lord." They nodded and headed off. I waited until they'd disappeared round the corner then cleared my throat. That signaled the old man to come out of hiding. I ushered him into Father's chambers and followed him inside.

Father lay in bed, barely breathing. The old man went right over to him; not knowing what he was going to do made me anxious. I watched him place drops of something in Father's mouth. Next he took a sprig of something and held it over Father. He paused to take a deep breath and his eyes started to glow.

I cracked. "Hold!" I said, and he stopped to look at me.

"Is something amiss?" he asked.

Doubts descended upon me. "My father taught me to always distrust magic, and now I'm using it to save him."

"Your own life's been saved by magic more times than you would believe." _What?!_

"What in the world are you talking about?" I was totally astonished.

He looked taken aback. "I simply meant to say that magic is everywhere. It's entwined in the very fabric of the world."

_Well that's unsettling_. And it didn't help. "How can I be certain it's the right decision to make?"

"I know you've grieved much due to magic, as many have. But not all magic and not all sorcerers are alike. I merely want to prove that magic can be used for good. I hope someday you'll see me differently." That seemed to make sense somehow. We traded stares for a moment, then I nodded and stepped back. He meditated a moment and held up the sprig. His eyes glowed and the sprig began smoking. Next he waved the incense over Father and started to chant, with increasing intensity. "_Efencume ætgædre, eala gastas cræftige: gestricie pis lic forod_." His eyes glowed again as he completed the spell.

Silence reigned. My heart started beating faster as I looked at Father. The tension in the room rose as we both sought some sign of life. For a moment, it looked like the spell had failed. I glanced desperately at the old sorcerer, who looked anxious. Suddenly, Father's eyes snapped open and he gasped. I was thrilled beyond belief and leaned closer to him. "Father . . . Father?"

I took his hand and he managed a weak smile. "Arthur . . ." I laughed in relief. The old man would get his wish. But suddenly Father's face twisted in pain. He gasped and his breath started to fail.

I looked at him in shock, then back at the sorcerer. "What's happening!?" I gasped.

He seemed equally shocked. "I don't know . . ." Father was in a lot of pain and fading fast.

"Do something!" I commanded the old man, and turned back to Father. He gasped out a long breath and went still. _No no no no no_ . . . The old man felt for a pulse and looked at me in shock.]

He reeled back a bit. "He's gone."

I struggled to accept this. So many thoughts and emotions flooded my mind, but the dominant one said, "No . . . He can't be . . . Father." I started shaking him, "Father!? . . ." I suddenly realized the futility of that action and gave up. I stared at Father, my mind swimming again. Then I remembered the_ sorcerer_—I turned on him, more hurt and angry than I've ever been before. He looked horrified, but I was past caring. "_What did you do?_"

"This wasn't meant to happen." He shook his head repeatedly. I didn't believe him.

"You promised me. You—you've killed him . . ." I started around the bed to him. "You killed him!"

"No . . ."

I drew my sword and advanced on him. "I'll kill _you_ for what you've done!"

His eyes flashed as he threw his hand out. "_Hleap on bæc_!"

I flew backwards and fell to the floor, stunned. The old sorcerer fled, I think. It took me a few minutes to come to my senses and look around; he was gone.

I felt a sense of déjà vu as I called for guards; they came promptly this time. One I sent to fetch Gaius and the other to find more guards to search for the sorcerer. It was probably a futile gesture, but it's what was done. I couldn't give it another thought anyway. There was too much to think about.

Gaius came as quickly as he could. Someone had again thought to tell Guinevere; she came immediately to my side. After I'd gotten up, I'd gone immediately to Father's bedside and hadn't left. Gaius's exam was quick. He brought the covers up over Father's chest and closed his eyes. Merlin came in just then and stopped just before he got to us. He looked like he was struggling to accept what he was seeing. I knew the feeling.

Gaius looked right at me and spoke, "I'm sorry, Arthur . . . The King is dead." My composure dissolved completely and tears streamed down my face. Gaius covered Father's face with the sheet and left, taking Merlin with him.

After a while, Guinevere squeezed my hand and left. She'd hardly spoken the entire time we were together, but she probably sensed I didn't want to talk. I walked slowly back to my chambers, not because I was tired, but because that's where one is supposed to be this time of night. Sleep was pointless. I sat in a chair at my table and stared into space. While I was struggling to process my emotions, Merlin came in and closed the door behind him.

"I am so sorry," he said. I just sat there and absorbed the sympathy. He continued to speak, struggling to express what he was feeling. Finally a situation he didn't have any words for. _Never thought I'd see the day_. "I . . . I should've . . . I wish I could have done something."

"Merlin. I'm the only one to blame for this," I told him. _Of course he'd try to take the blame_.

"You are not to blame. This isn't your fault." _Wrong_.

"I'm completely to blame. My father fought magic for twenty years. I was arrogant enough to believe I knew better. That arrogance cost my Father his life."

He nearly cut me off. "You only did what you felt was right. I'm certain that that old sorcerer meant no harm. Maybe the spell went wrong. Uther was dying. Perhaps nothing could've healed him . . ." I appreciated the thought, but no.

"We won't ever know. All I know for certain is that both my parents died because of magic. It is utterly evil. I'll never forget that again." Merlin looked devastated, like I'd hurt him somehow. I don't know how I noticed that in my frame of mind. Someone knocked on the door. It was time. One is never ready for this kind of thing, but I got up resolutely and left.

Merlin eventually followed me to the throne room. We met Gaius there—he'd overseen the Father's care and dressing. Father was lying on a dais in the middle of the room, surrounded by candles. He'd lie here in state until his funeral. I would spend the rest of my night in here with him, trying to come to terms with everything he meant to me and what I'd have to do now—_mourning_. Merlin and Gaius closed the door behind me and I began my long, lonely vigil.

Many thoughts and emotions streamed through my mind. I hardly knew where one ended and the next began. But I knew I didn't want to be here, now, doing what I was doing. Father was smiling, like he'd just get up and tell me something humorous he'd seen. But he didn't. He was gone and I'd have to trust in myself now. He told me I _was_ ready, _had been_ ready, but I didn't _feel_ ready. I felt _alone_. But I _wasn't_. Not really.

I hadn't noticed the passage of time when I determined it was time. I kissed Father's forehead. Tears still streamed down my face. But I had to face the future, and there was a lot to do. I walked to the doors and opened them; the sun shone brightly behind me. Merlin sat there on the floor, against the stone railing. He was looking away, but turned when I said, "Merlin?" I don't know why, but I felt calmer as we looked at each other. I looked back at the sunlight flooding in through the window. "It's a new day." He took that in for a moment, then stood. "You were here all night?" I asked him.

"I didn't want you to think that you were alone," he said simply.

I was incredibly touched. "You're a faithful friend, Merlin." He looked tired; he really _had_ been up all night. I closed the doors behind me and took a breath. "Are you hungry?"

"Starving."

"Me too . . . Come on." I started up the staircase; he followed. "You can get us a bit of breakfast." And we were off. There was no lack of things to do, for either of us.

xxxXxxx

The big day. The one I never wanted to face because it meant Father was gone. But it was here and it was time. I pushed open the doors to the throne room and started walking down the aisle down the middle of the room. Each person bowed as I passed them on the long walk to the throne where Geoffrey of Monmouth stood waiting. _For me_. The air of excitement and anticipation that filled the room did nothing to dissolve my apprehension. I knelt in front of the throne. Sir Geoffrey stood next to me, the crown in his hands. He spoke.

"Will you solemnly promise and swear to govern the Peoples of Camelot according to their respective laws and customs?"

_I knew all the answers by heart_. "I solemnly swear so to do."

"Will you to your power cause Law and Justice, in Mercy, to be executed in all your judgments?"

Execute_ me_. "I will."

"Then by the sacred law vested in me, I crown you Arthur, King of Camelot!" He placed the crown on my head. _Too late to go back now_. I stood and turned to face the massive crowd of courtiers.

"Long live the King!" Agravaine called out.

Everyone joined in afterward, and it seemed to go on for eternity. "Long live the King! Long live the King! Long live the King! Long live the King! Long live the King! Long live the king! Long live the King! Long live the King!"

Not a day I would soon forget.

* * *

**I'm not sure which one I'll do next- I have my favorite episodes, but they're not necessarily what I would use for this series. I guess I'll have to do more than I originally planned! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**This one's shorter than average, since the ****Princess ****just has a supporting role in this one. _Aithusa_.**

* * *

I was abruptly pulled out of sleep by an unusual tinkling sound. The fact that it was obviously morning had nothing to do with it, but _would_ keep me awake. When I finally opened my eyes, I found the world's oddest servant crouching just a couple of feet away from me. _Now what?_ I couldn't wait to hear his ridiculous excuse for this.

"What in the world are you doing?" I asked him.

"Listening for woodworm," Merlin replied. He started knocking and tapping on the cabinet next to my bed. _What?_

I quashed all my other questions to ask the most important. "Before breakfast?" _Too darn early_.

"That's when the worms are most active." He kept tapping and listening to the wood.

"Get out." I couldn't deal with his foolishness this morning.

He got up to leave, but stopped when he got to the foot of my bed. "These need to be washed." He grabbed my dirty clothes that were sitting there.

"So do these." I took the opportunity to throw more clothes at him. "Oh, and Merlin, before you go, I want that belt." There was a pretty important key on it. I rolled over but heard him leave the belt before he left. I'm not sure I want to know what he was _really_ doing here.

A bit later in the day, I was conferring with the council about Camelot's defenses along our borders. Not the most pleasant subject, but necessary.

"We have to reinforce all our remote defenses as Odin's raids prove. But it is the northern borders that are especially at risk," Agravaine said.

"That's always been the case, and the explanation's clear. If you look at the terrain here." I pointed at the spot on the map we were looking at when my trousers suddenly fell. _What the?!_ That effectively halted the discussion and the councilors looked away while I bent down to right myself.

"Let me help you, sire." _Oh no, not Merlin_. I'm willing to bet he had _something_ to do with this; not sure _what_, exactly, but he was. It was odd behavior, even for him. But he ran over to "help" anyway.

"No. No! _Merlin_!" I tried to tell him off.

He didn't listen, just argued back. "Your Majesty."

"_Merlin_!" We both went down. I don't even want to know what this looks like to the others.

"Majesty!"

_Ahhhh!_ _So frustrating!_ "Get _off_ me!"

"I just want to help, sire!" I finally got him off me and we both got up. I managed to pull up my own trousers while Merlin watched. "There we go. Will there be anything else, sire?" _Seriously?!_

"_No_!" I yelled, brushing him off with a gesture. _As if I'd want him around after that. _He backed out and left the room. _Finally_. I cleared my throat and continued the discussion, hoping for no more interruptions.

Oddly enough, I didn't see Merlin for much of the rest of the day. Only at dinner and bedtime, and he _seemed_ to act normally. Normally for _him_, anyway. He must have been doing a lot for Gaius, I guess. Hopefully everything would be right in the morning.

xxxXxxx

In the morning, I was woken rather unusually. _Again_. I felt something heavy on top of me, which quickly rolled off. I opened my eyes to see _Merlin_ standing _right next_ to me, holding a goblet. That made me jump and partially sit up in bed. Was it _him_ that laid on me? "Merlin? What are you doing?"

"Shh!" He said forcefully, and put a finger to his lips. Then he put the goblet against the headboard, using it as an amplifier to listen, and tapped the wood. "I'm listening for woodworm." _What the? Again?_

"I'm getting a little worried about you." More than a little, actually. Just then the warning bells rang out. "The hell is that?" _Is everything going mad around here?_

Merlin helped me dress in a hurry and found someone to tell us what the emergency was. Evidently the vaults had been broken into and something was missing. I sent a guard to fetch Gaius, then stopped at my uncle's chambers to collect him. Gaius knew what was in the vaults, more than anyone else, anyway.

Agravaine examined the door. "The lock hasn't been broken, which implies that whoever it was had a key."

"Curious," Gaius said as he came in.

"All these treasures and _this_ is what they wanted. What was in here?" I asked, walking over to an open ornate box the guard had showed me.

"I think, Sire, it was one third of a Triskelion, a kind of key. A key that, as told by legend, opens the ancient Tomb of Ashkanar."

I thought for a moment. "I remember my father speak of this tomb. It held a dragon's egg."

"It has been said." It was clear what _he_ thought of the idea.

"You don't think it's real?"

"Well, it's feasible, Sire. The riches and knowledge of Ashkanar are unequaled."

"Is the egg still there?" Agravaine asked.

"I can't be sure. But, to my understanding, no one has disrupted the tomb for over four hundred years."

"Someone could, with this Triskelion."

"Sire, a dragon's egg can survive for a thousand years. Even now, it could still hatch, and a new dragon would be unleashed upon the world," Agravaine added.

"So, the work my father did to free the world of these monsters would be for nothing." _Oh no_.

"That would be our worry," Agravaine replied.

"So we have no option. We have to find this thief and destroy the egg." I decided, and left the room to prepare. The thief was well ahead of us now, so we had to leave _immediately_.

We couldn't afford to wait long, so I gave Merlin even less time than usual to pack his things. By the time the rest of us were mounted to go, he'd just come into the square. I yelled out, "Look sharp, Merlin!" then led the group out at a quick pace. I knew he'd catch up eventually, probably when we rested the horses.

He did, and we continued all together. Eventually we came to the grassland, where it was easier to see the thief's trail. I looked down to check."Matching hoof prints. We must be close to him."

Merlin said, "Look." The rest of us looked into the distance where he'd pointed. There was a pillar of smoke. _Ha!_ "He made camp. Ya!" He seemed strangely eager to find this thief, but we followed him down the hill and into the woods.

When we found his campsite, I dismounted to check the doused fire's ashes. "They're still warm."

"He has only a few hours' lead on us," Elyan commented.

"We have to keep going." We got back on our horses and left.

Later, I spotted tracks leading down the side of the hill. I dismounted again to check them. "Deer tracks."

"He evaded us?" Leon asked.

"It's becoming too dark to see. We need to find someplace to camp for the night."

Merlin seemed particularly disappointed. _Why?_ "But we're so close to him."

I walked back up the hill. "Unless you're able to see in the dark, Merlin, there's not a lot we can do." When I reached the group again, I noticed he seemed irritated, like he wanted to argue but thought better of it. _What was going on with him?_ It's like this thief had personally insulted him or something. But I couldn't worry about that now; as long as he didn't fly off the handle, I had no problem.

It didn't take long before we had camp set up and dinner was over the fire. Half the reason I bring Merlin along is so none of the rest of us has to cook. That's because we can't—not really. And by the time he'd finished cooking, I'd already come up with a plan to distract him from whatever was bothering him.

Leon started, stopping Merlin after he'd been served. "Whoa. I'm ravenous." Merlin gave him more. "Thank you."

Gwaine reached out and snagged Merlin's sleeve before he could walk away. "Hey, I'm hungry as a horse." Merlin served Gwaine some extra, then crouched down by the fire serve himself.

Time for part two. "I wonder, Merlin, have you fed them?" I asked.

"What?" He replied.

"The horses."

"Well—"

"Come on, they're probably starving."

"But—"

"Get to it." Merlin put his plate and spoon down, then walked away to feed the horses. While he was gone, Leon snuck over to the pot and scraped what was left into an extra bowl. He brought it back and set it behind the log we sat on. And we carried on as if nothing had happened.

When Merlin came back, he made to get his dinner again, but Gwaine stopped him. "Mm. That was great, Merlin. Thanks." Then he handed Merlin his empty plate.

Then Percival. "Er, I loved it."

And Leon. "Me, too." By this time, he looked pretty put upon.

My turn. "If you're gonna wash those, wash this, too." I bent over to pick up and hand Merlin the pot.

"Thanks," he said, looking like he'd rather tell me where to go.

I looked into the pot. "Wait, there's still some left." I scooped it up with the ladle and waved it in his direction before eating it myself. "Mm. Mm."

"Good, was it?"

I nodded and pointed to the pot. "A little salty, though." I patted him on the arm and walked away. He started to trudge away to do the dishes.

Leon chuckled. "Merlin." The servant turned around while Leon pulled out Merlin's plate. "Here's another plate for you." All of us laughed; Merlin resisted but couldn't help but join us eventually. It seemed like our distraction had worked, and the mood of the whole camp lightened up through bedtime.

We rose very early the next morning, in hopes we could get a bit closer to the thief before he started his day. We rode an hour or so before tying up the horses—walking was much quieter. Everyone drew their swords as we entered the thief's camp. But we were too late—he was gone.

"He probably left in the night," I said.

"No horse tracks," Gwaine commented.

"He's concealed them," Leon concluded.

"We _had_ him. We were so close," Merlin said, perturbed again. He stomped off as if to find the thief single-handedly. What was _wrong_ with him?

"Where do you think you're going? We can't even tell which way he went," I told him.

"He's going east," he said, deigning to talk to me.

"How do you figure that?" _That_ put him on the spot.

"Because I can sense it." _O-Kay?_

"'Sense' isn't a word I connect with you, Merlin." I'd turned to search elsewhere when Elyan's voice stopped me.

"Hold on! He's right." He'd found some horse dung. Headed east, _of course_.

"He can't be." I couldn't _believe_ Merlin was right.

"Good job, Merlin," Leon complimented.

He smiled and waited for me to catch up to him. "You ever learn the word 'sorry?'"

"No, is that another word you created?" I couldn't let him have the last word, could I?

We all started walking east. At midday, we reached a cave. This was unexpected; we'd have to go back and around. _Backtracking_, _great_. "It's a dead end. That's it. Let's turn back." Everyone but Merlin turned around.

"How about the cave?" he asked. _Did he know something I didn't?_

"We're losing time." I told him, but he just kept looking at the cave.

Then Percival spoke up. "Arthur." I walked over to where he pointed down at a muddy footprint by the water. Merlin was right _again_? This was shaping up to be a weird day.

We all clustered together again and entered the cave. Everyone drew their swords as we walked—we couldn't be too careful in here. The deeper we went the more I doubted this choice, evidence or no. "Merlin, this is absurd. Where's he going?"

"There's light ahead," he countered. There was a pounding noise too. Finally we came to a waterfall. I sheathed my sword and put my hand through it, then crossed to the other side. I could hardly believe something like this could exist, but here it was. Everyone followed me through and we continued on a path that led around the waterfall's pond.

Gwaine voiced how I felt, "No wonder no one's ever discovered it."

We continued walking for a while, gradually drying out. The forest led us out to a grassy hill. At the top, to the right, we saw an elegant tower. _The tomb_. Normally I wouldn't describe a tower or tomb as elegant, but it fit. It would still be a hike to get there, but it would be all downhill.

At the bottom of the hill, we found a path through the forest that eventually led into a large trench. Not long after we'd entered it, Percival cried out. I turned to look and saw he'd been shot in the leg with an arrow. "Take cover!" I yelled, and everyone pressed their backs into the trench walls. An arrow landed between my feet.

Percival groaned in pain. "You okay?" I yelled to him.

"Yeah," he called back, just before another arrow hit the ground near his head.

"Where's he shooting from?" I wondered out loud. Just then I thought of a plan and turned to Leon. "I'll draw fire, move him to safety." I nodded toward Percival. I ran to the other side, drawing fire, at the same time Leon helped Percival to his feet and yanked him against the wall. Everyone resumed scanning the top of the trench for the shooter.

After a minute, Merlin whispered, "Arthur," and nodded to direct my line of sight to the shooter. I peeked out for a moment, made a plan then motioned to the knights. I sprinted to the other side of the trench and ran out of the trench to the shooter's position. He was gone.

"What happened? Where did he go?" I looked down at them, but only Merlin answered.

"Maybe he used up his bolts."

I resumed sneaking through the woods, the others following. Suddenly Merlin dashed past me, too eager. "Careful!" I yelled. He stopped and slid under a small, bent tree. I ran up and yanked him back. "Who knows what traps he may have left for us?"

"We can go around that," he complained, and started walking past me.

I grabbed him again to stop him. "No. He _knows_ we're after him."

"That's a chance we _must_ take!" He replied forcefully. Again I had to wonder what his issue was. He seemed _way_ too emotionally invested in this venture. What's really going on here?

"We'll set up camp and resume at sunrise." I told him firmly, and walked back toward the knights. He'd just have to accept that.

Merlin made dinner again while the rest of us sharpened swords, talked or both. I watched Merlin; he laid out plates, checked to see that the knights were busy then started filling his own plate. Just as he was about to take a bite, I walked over and grabbed the plate. "Merlin, can you find a little more firewood?" I asked.

"Well, I was just about to taste the soup—"

"Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. This is great. Guys, you have to taste this," I interrupted. He looked like I had taken away his comfort blanket. The knights headed over with their plates and served themselves.

After he left, we sat around camp to eat. As I finished the soup, I started feeling very drowsy. It had been a long day, but I usually wasn't _this_ tired after dinner. I looked over at the knights—they all looked like I felt. Leon slumped over to the ground right before my eyes shut involuntarily and I succumbed to the darkness. The only thing I remember from that sleep was a dream of air being squeezed from my lungs before it suddenly eased. One of the oddest dreams I've ever had.

xxxXXxxx

When I woke, it was early morning. Everyone was sprawled on the ground in the same place they'd eaten dinner. Everyone _but_ Merlin. He must have come back and found us then decided to go after the thief himself. _Stupid_, but typically _Merlin_. I woke up the knights, explained what I thought had happened and told them to grab their swords. Who knew what kind of trouble we'd find Merlin in now?

We'd only run a short distance when we heard the sound of something large and heavy crumbling. _The tomb?_ When we reached a rise, we looked up to see the tower collapsing in the near distance. Much closer, I saw Merlin dash away from the ruins and stop not too far from us.

When I got close enough, I yelled, "What the hell happened?" We stood and watched the tower continue to collapse.

"The tomb was a trap. He triggered it. He didn't make it out." So it _was_ the tomb and the thief was dead.

I turned to him, anxious to know. "And the egg?"

He shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. "It would've been crushed along with him."

I pressed him; I _had_ to know. "Are you certain? We have to be sure."

"Nothing would survive under all that," Leon commented, and we watched the tomb crumble until it was just a pile of rubble. Leon was right; there was no way anything could have survived the weight of that rock. I contemplated this for a few moments before finally deciding it was time to go. It was a solid two days' journey back to Camelot. The sooner we left the sooner we would be home.

* * *

**A/N- I gave into one of my "head canons" with the knights messing with Merlin's dinner scene. I'd like to think Princess _had_ noticed how his friend was feeling and concocted the scheme to distract him. They always treat him like a little brother, and being trolls for no reason seems a bit cruel for these guys.**


	5. Chapter 5

Raids across our border with Caerleon led into one of the most unusual but effective plans I'd ever put into motion. We'd theorized that these bandits, as yet unidentified, may have been sanctioned by King Caerleon himself. If that was true, war could be on the horizon. We needed to capture at least one of the bandits and question him to find out. Someone- I won't say whom -suggested we lure the group into a place where we could ambush them. We'd need bait, of course. _Recognizable_ bait. The author of this plan found himself dressed in chain mail and a knight's cloak, casually wandering near where the bandits had last been seen. Then he'd lead them into our trap and wait for us to spring it.

The rest of the knights and myself waited for Merlin to run into our dead-end trench. We were hidden around the top of the trench's end. Merlin tripped on his way in and I had to restrain the impulse to smack my forehead. An axe landed between his legs, fortunately missing his body. He ripped it out of the ground and jumped up to continue his run. Pretty soon he'd be cornered, and looked up at us for help. _Sure, just tell them we're here, thanks!_ I rolled my eyes. He could sweat an extra minute for that.

Merlin turned to face the bandits, who were strutting around, thinking this their lucky day. Our fake knight raised the axe threateningly, but the bandits just laughed.

"Trapped, are we?" one of the bandits jeered. If he'd looked up, he would have seen us spring the trap. He smiled until one of his fellows was hit with a crossbow bolt. That got their attention and the smiles fled their faces.

"That's the idea," Merlin said. I imagined the goofy grin on his face right now.

The knights of Camelot roared into action as I yelled, "On me!" I recklessly jumped down into the trench and landed on top one of the bandits. A few of the knights followed my example, but most went down by safer means. In a relatively short time, we had subdued the entire group.

I found myself overseeing matters when I heard my uncle's voice. "Your Majesty. Look at what we've caught." He was dragging the leader of the bandits alongside him.

"He'll come with us. We'll sort out the prisoners when we return to Camelot," I told him, and turned to attend to other matters.

"I'm afraid this is no common prisoner, Your Highness." Agravaine shoved the prisoner down at the foot of a tree and ripped something from around the man's neck. I walked back to him and he handed me a necklace.

"Well, well," I said. This prisoner _wasn't_ common.

"What is it?" Merlin asked. He'd suddenly appeared behind me.

"This, Merlin, is the royal crest of Caerleon. Isn't it . . . Your Highness?" I had him taken to a more secure spot and put under heavy guard. Now I had to figure out what to do with him. _Ugh_.

By the time I'd finished dealing with that, camp had been set up and night had fallen. I went in search of dinner, conversing with Agravaine. "This isn't the only time he's intruded on our lands."

He sat down in front of the fire. "No, sire. Just last week he took the village of Stonedown near the western border," he replied.

_He moves quickly_. "We aren't near the border now, Uncle. This is the middle of the kingdom. He risked a lot coming here."

"Maybe he doesn't look at it like that. I don't think it's a coincidence that all this has occurred since your father's death." _Is he implying . . ?_

"What are you saying?"

"Arthur, your father was a powerful king. His enemies lived in fear and awe of that power."

_What?!_ "Am I not worthy of that kind of respect?"

He seemed to backpedal a bit. "No, sire, not at all. There isn't a person in Camelot who wouldn't give their life for you." He stood and walked over to me. "But your enemies . . . to the enemies of Camelot, you are yet untried as a king. You need to send a definite message that every action hostile to Camelot will be answered without mercy."

_Without_ mercy? "Didn't we accomplish that today?" I was puzzled.

"No, sire. Not enough to discourage the likes of Odin and Bayard and numerous others who desire Camelot's riches." That made _some_ sense, but I didn't understand what he was insinuating.

"So what do you suggest?" I sat down and he crouched next to me.

"I suggest . . . I suggest that we compel him to sign a treaty on _our_ terms. He has to remove his men from our land, give our provinces back to us. He has to relinquish Everwick."

That was _very_ severe. "He'd sooner die than consent to those terms."

"Then you have no choice." _Was he suggesting I _do_ that?_

"I can't simply kill a man in cold blood." That was _unconscionable_!

"Arthur, you have to do what you must to establish your power over this land."

I understand that, but . . . "Well, there has to be some other way."

"There's no other way. Think about it. Decide by morning." He got up and walked away. Isn't there usually another way? There _has_ to be one. Killing was absolute; it couldn't be taken back or commuted. _Why would Agravaine suggest this? _

"Arthur . . ." Merlin started.

But I couldn't bear any more discussion tonight. "Not now, Merlin." He took a pot off the fire, and banked the fire. I guess he went to bed, but I didn't notice. My uncle's suggestion was weighing too heavily on my mind.

I don't recall moving much the entire night. I may have dozed a couple of times, still sitting up, but mostly I just _thought_. I barely noticed the sun rise over the horizon. I barely noticed _anything_ until someone walked up next to me.

"Arthur? Arthur, here." Merlin's voice penetrated my hazy mind. He handed me a glass of water, which I took.

"Thank you." I rubbed my face. Staying up all night is exhausting.

"You're cold," Merlin commented, kneeling by the fire. "Didn't you sleep at all?

"Been thinking," I told him. _Wasn't it obvious?_

"About what Agravaine said?" I nodded. He'd guessed right, as usual, and sat opposite me. "Have you decided what to do?"

"My father was an amazing king, but I don't have his knowledge or his certainty. I can merely follow his example and do what he would've done." This is what had finally come to my mind after hours of thinking. Agravaine was right—I wasn't my father, but I could be _like_ him.

"You intend to write this treaty?"

I nodded. "I need to prove my authority. Prove that I'm deserving of my father's name."

"Caerleon won't sign it. You realize that?" _Of course. I wouldn't either_.

"Caerleon's actions caused this." He _chose_ this course of action by attacking us.

"Arthur. You always show mercy in combat. You've never tried to debase your enemy like this. This isn't you. This isn't who you are." _How does _he_ know?_

"You don't know what it is to make decisions like these. Decisions that will affect the future of this kingdom."

"Arthur—"

"So, please . . . stay with what you _do_ know." He could never, would never understand. I was tired and just wanted to get this over with so I could go home. I got up and left him sitting there.

I gathered the knights and Agravaine together to present King Caerleon with his choice. Agravaine walked up to him and handed him the treaty scroll. He'd do the talking, for now.

"What is this?" Caerleon didn't take it, so Agravaine handed it to Leon, who opened it where Caerleon could read it. The other King _did_ read it. "You think I'll sign this? And humiliate myself before you?"

Agravaine had walked away but turned back at this. "You raided our kingdom and stole what didn't belong to you."

"And if I don't sign?"

"You'll pay with your life."

Caerleon scoffed. "And who created these terms?"

That was enough. I spoke up, "Arthur Pendragon . . ." I walked forward. "King of Camelot."

Caerleon pushed Leon's arm aside and walked closer to me. "Of course." Percival made a grab at his arm, but was shoved off. "Then do it quickly!" he said defiantly and knelt at my feet.

"Consider what you're giving up, Caerleon. This treaty could confirm a truce between us. We would have peace. Like there was between our fathers." _Last chance_.

"I'm not my father, and you're not Uther! Do you actually have the nerve to kill me?" If I'd had any doubts that Agravaine wasn't right, those words smashed them. If he preferred death, he'd get it.

"You give me no choice."

"You don't choose anything, _boy_. It is I who choose to die, and I alone. Now, get to it." And with those words, Caerleon bowed his head down to give me a clear shot at his neck.

"So be it." I said. Once he was dead, his body was taken and prepared to be sent back to his queen. I did not want to see that. I'd made the decision and had seen it carried out. It was time to put away my feelings of disgust, horror and guilt and go home.

xxxXxxx

When we got home, I walked to my chambers. Agravaine accompanied me whether I wanted him to or not. "Your determination has already gained the esteem of both the council and the people. Your father would be proud of you."

I stopped when we reached my chambers. "Thank you, Uncle. Your help and advice are invaluable; I don't know what I'd have done without it." I went inside where Guinevere was waiting for me. We embraced as Merlin entered with my bags. "Did you miss me?" I asked her.

"Yes," she replied with a smile. After a few moments, she excused herself so I could wash up.

Merlin unpacked while I washed my face. "Must have been hard to have a man killed like that," he said.

"He left me no choice. A show of strength was needed," I told him, already feeling more relaxed.

"Can't compassion also show strength?" _He's trying to be my conscience again_.

"Not for men like Caerleon, no. No, an example was needed for the good of the kingdom."

"So, you're not sorry for what you did?" _Oh no_.

"My conscience is clean, Merlin, and that's more than I can say about my room. So, just get to work, will you?"

He walked toward me. "Come on, I'm only saying, if something's troubling you, you can talk to me. You shouldn't distance yourself from your friends, you know? Not now. Not when you need them the most."

"You're wrong, Merlin. I don't need anybody. I can't allow that luxury." His face fell; I'd upset him. "The kingdom's my burden now. Mine to carry alone. And you have to understand that." He nodded, but I could tell he was disappointed. He'd get over it eventually, he always does.

When I finished changing, I went down to the council chambers. The council had discussed matters in my absence and the documentation was left there for me to approve. I was going through it when there was a knock at the door.

"Enter," I said loudly.

Agravaine entered. "I apologize for disturbing you, my lord." He closed the door behind him. _Not a casual chat then_.

"Something wrong, Uncle?"

"I sincerely hope that my counsel has been useful these past months."

"It certainly has, you know that." He _should_ know that.

"There is something I want to talk about with you. But . . . it's a delicate matter." Ah—"delicate" is code for "personal."

"Yes?"

"It relates to Guinevere." _I should have guessed_.

"What about her?"

"She's an attractive woman, sire, and possesses many excellent qualities, I don't doubt. But she is a servant."

_Is that all?_ "That doesn't bother me."

He backpedaled again. "Nor me. I promise you. No, I—it's your people that worry me." I shifted and sat back in the chair.

"Well, certainly as king, I can do as I see proper."

"No, sire, you can't. You have to do what is required of you. You must portray yourself in a suitable manner. The people . . . your people don't want to see their king with the daughter of a blacksmith." _Again with what was expected_. _Ugh_.

"This isn't an affair of state. This is an affair of the heart." Surely he understood _that_.

"You can't govern this land with your heart, Arthur. Your father knew that." I looked away. _He sure had a way of making me squirm_. He sat in the chair next to me. "You didn't wish to kill Caerleon, I know that. But you stood firm. You didn't allow those emotions obscure your decision. You govern with your head like a strong king should."

"Yes." _Strong kings use their heads_.

"And now you need to demonstrate that strength again. Leave your personal feelings behind for the benefit of your kingdom."

"Leave my feelings for Guinevere behind?" _How could I do that?_ We've been waiting for _so_ long . . .

"It must be, my lord." I really _really_ didn't want to do that. But if what he said was true . . . the last thing I wanted to do was appear _weak_. I have to forget the feelings I'd just learned to accept.

xxxXxxx

I had again spent much of the night pondering. My uncle has really made me think lately—or has he just opened my eyes? Either way, I knew what I had to do. And I didn't like it. I knew that Father had put aside his own concerns to be a strong King. If I wanted to be like him- and I did -I had to do so as well. But that doesn't mean I had to like it, just get used to it.

By breakfast I knew I'd have a hard time getting rid of the tension this decision had caused. That made the decision to go down to the training yard easier. Merlin didn't look happy but that was just _too bad_. He'd steady the punching bag for me or _be_ the punching bag.

"You seem stressed," he commented.

"What do you mean 'stressed?'" I asked. Like I would admit it.

"You know . . . agitated. On edge. Angry." _Thank you, human dictionary_.

"This isn't anger, Merlin. This is managed aggression!" On the last word I punched the bag so hard that it flew off of the hanger to the ground and took Merlin with it.

"Good. I'm happy we cleared that up." He sounded dazed, but Leon arrived at that moment and distracted me.

"Sire. An envoy arrived this minute."

"What is it?" I wasn't expecting anyone.

"An army. They crossed our border at dawn."

_Oh no_. "An army? Whose army?"

"Caerleon's queen." Merlin gave me a look that said _I tried to tell you_. That was true—he _had_ tried to tell me. I'd known this was a likely consequence of executing Caerleon, but I'd ignored it when I made my decision. And now war was literally on our doorstep.

I immediately quit training and sent a messenger to gather the council together. I spoke when they'd all assembled: "At a forced march, Caerleon's men will arrive at Camelot by sunset tomorrow, which means we don't have a choice. We have to stop them before they make the ridge of Lanshire. That way, we occupy the high ground. The knights of Camelot prepare as I speak. We leave at dawn."

"Long live the king!" Agravaine yelled.

Everyone reflexively chanted: "Long live the king! Long live the king! Long live the king!" But I didn't feel like I deserved the adulation.

xxxXxxx

I had one unpleasant task to complete before we went off to war tomorrow. I'd put it off for a whole day. But I had to get rid of Merlin first. I couldn't take his nonsense right now. He turned down my bed while I put on a cloak.

"Off again. One more week in the wilderness. Eating strange animals, being eaten by strange animals. No hot water, no baths. This'll be the last night either of us will sleep in a good bed," he commented. Did I hear a note of _censure_ in there?

"Merlin, I'm ready to face all kinds of horrors in this world, but if you believe I'm letting you sleep in my bed . . ." _Distraction might work_.

He laughed. "What? No, that isn't what I meant."

"Right. Great. Relief to know." I started walking to the door.

"Where are you going?" _Distraction didn't work_.

"That's my concern. And Merlin, don't be here when I return." I knew he wouldn't like that brush off, but he really didn't need to know what I was doing. Heart-breaking is painful enough _without_ his silent or not-so-silent disapproval.

I walked through the castle and down to the lower town with purpose. I'd pulled up the hood on my cloak—I didn't exactly want anyone to see me. If I can't be seen with anyone _from_ here I probably shouldn't be _seen_ here.

I was doing well until I heard: "Halt! Declare yourself!" A guard, doing his job. _At least one of them could_. I stopped, mildly irritated. I turned around and pulled off my hood. The guard was shocked, "I'm sorry, sire. Forgive me."

"No worries." I could hardly fault him for doing his job. He bowed and left to continue his patrol. I waited until he was gone, then continued on to Guinevere's home. I knocked on her door and didn't wait long before she opened it with a smile.

"Arthur," she said in that beautiful way she has.

"May I come in?" I asked.

"Of course." She held the door open while I entered. "Can I get you something? Food or drink?"

"I'm good, thanks." I closed the door and turned to face her. "I won't be here long."

"Oh." Her smile dimmed a bit.

_This is tortuous. And awkward_. "Guinevere . . . please trust me when I say that you haven't done anything wrong." She looked a bit confused. "And that none of this . . . is because of you."

Now she was completely confused. "None of _what_? I don't understand." She smiled through her words.

"My life has changed a lot. With my father gone, it's up to me to govern this land."

"I know that must be a huge responsibility."

"And now that I'm king . . . it doesn't matter what I may or may not want for myself." She was beginning to understand. "My sole duty is to the people of this kingdom. I'll be judged by my deeds. Who I'm seen with." _Every word stung_. I wanted to take them all back.

She seemed surprised and hurt. "You're embarrassed to be seen with me?"

"No." I shook my head. _How can I do this to us?_ My composure was unraveling. "No. But now that I'm king, it's inappropriate."

She looked devastated. "I'm inappropriate?" I wanted to run over to her and . . .

"It appears so."

She walked up to me, in total disbelief. "Arthur . . . do you hear yourself? You don't sound like the man I know. Someone's talked you into this."

_Yes_. "No one has talked me into anything. I'm my own man. I decide for myself."

She started to cry. "And you decided we cannot be together?"

"Yes." _I don't want to say these things_ . . .

"I see." She just looked at me, not hiding her raw emotion.

"I'm sorry, Guinevere. This is how it has to be." I had to leave, complete the clean break, or I wouldn't want to leave at all. _Doing the right thing doesn't _feel_ like doing the right thing_.

"Arthur." Her voice, empty of tears, stopped me. I turned to look back at her. "Don't allow anyone to tell you what you can or can't do. You say you are your own man. You have a noble heart. Be true to it. Only then will you be the king you want to be." This would have been good advice for the old me, but had little benefit for the new me. I considered her for a moment, inclined my head and left. _It's now or never_.

xxxXxxx

Before dawn, Merlin arrived to wake me, his bag in hand. He didn't say much, which was a relief. I didn't want to talk. He got me ready to go and picked up my things as we headed out. He went directly to the stables while I went out the main doors. The entire army was assembled there. The view should have filled me with pride, but all I could think as I walked through them was _how many won't return_?

We rode away to the ridge of Lanshire, reaching it before sundown. I walked to the edge of the ridge, alone, and looked down. Caerleon's vast army stared back at me from below. _How many of _them_ won't return home?_ Agravaine walked up to me.

"Ensure that the men have everything they should. They need to be well-rested by morning," I told him.

"I'll handle it, sire," he replied.

"The battle begins at first light." He walked away to carry out my order. After a few more minutes of observation, I turned and walked back to camp. It would be dark soon and we'd all need our rest.

When I got to my tent, I noticed that the Round Table knights had taken up residence in front of it. I watched them from there as they talked around their campfire. Leon tussled Merlin's hair while the rest chuckled. Percival and Elyan toasted something with their tankards. They all talked and laughed together, and_ oh I wanted to be out there with them_. Like I used to do. But being a strong king meant being independent and putting aside my desires.

Then Merlin noticed me watching and his smile faded slightly. The others noticed and looked over too. I was caught. I tried to cover by saying, "We should all go to sleep." And I turned to head into my tent. That didn't stop them from talking, though I didn't hear the words.

Later on, Merlin came in to tend to a few things. He seemed to sense my mood and didn't talk aside from asking what I wanted done. He was working on my spare armor when Elyan led the Round Table Knights into my tent.

"Elyan?" I asked, a bit surprised.

"Sire," he said, and glanced at the knights behind him.

"Well?"

"We simply want you to know there isn't a man among us who would not die for you. We gave our vows, and we bear the Pendragon emblem with pride. Tomorrow, we fight in your name, sire. For freedom and justice in this kingdom."

That was very touching. I looked at each of them before saying, "Thank you, Elyan. Thank you all." They all nodded and left. The fact that they felt the need to do that troubled me. They'd somehow sensed my melancholy.

"They mean it, sire. Every word," Merlin commented, and walked toward me. He intended to sharpen my sword. _Or be my conscience_.

"I haven't ever doubted their loyalty. I have to question if I deserve it." _Fighting a senseless war for me?_

"No one's more concerned for their men than you are. You wouldn't make the decision to send them into battle that lightly, and they know that."

Now I _really_ felt guilty. "But was it the correct decision?"

"If there was another solution to this dilemma, you would find it. But you have to protect Camelot. You have no choice."

He was trying to support _me_, even though _he'd_ been right all along. "I had a choice . . . to allow Caerleon to live or die. I chose wrongly. I've brought this war upon Camelot myself."

"Arthur . . . no one is ready to sacrifice more for the benefit of this kingdom than you. You made your decision in Camelot's best interest."

_I don't know about that_. In retrospect, it seems awfully selfish. "Perhaps. Now my men have to answer for it with their lives."

After Merlin had left and everyone was asleep- _I _couldn't_ sleep_ -I made a decision. I had to try to fix my mistake before anyone could die for it. A solution presented itself, but Queen Annis had to agree. I wouldn't blame her if she didn't. She had a pretty powerful motive to be here, and I didn't blame her for that either. I put on a shabby brown cloak and left my tent, walking past my sleeping men.

I was almost into the woods when I heard a commotion behind me—kind of like someone tripping over a tent. But when I turned around to look, I saw nothing. I kept walking down to the enemy camp, and eventually their sentries stopped me.

"Halt!" One yelled. I opened my cloak to show my lack of weapons.

"I'm unarmed," I told them, and pulled off the cloak to drop it on the ground. "Surely you recognize me. Bring me to your queen." I extended my arms in surrender and allowed them to take me into their camp.

We approached a tent that was grander than the rest, and the sentries pulled me inside. The queen had her back to us but turned at the noise we made.

"What is going on here?" she asked, none too pleased.

"Your Highness, I came here to—" Annis slapped me vindictively. _I deserved that_. "Your Highness, I realize that you feel nothing but derision for me. You believe I've done you a terrible wrong, and you would be right. I'm mortified by what I did. It was weak, it was unfair, and I am truly sorry."

"Sorry doesn't restore my husband. Sorry doesn't return the king to my people." _She has fire_.

"I know that. I realize there's nothing I can do to mend that damage."

"Then why are you here, Arthur Pendragon?"

"I wish to stop the battle."

She seemed a little intrigued. "It's a bit too late for that."

"I don't suggest a truce, but another option. I invoke the right of single combat. Two champions to resolve this issue between them." _That was the plan_.

"And why should I grant you this request?" _Patronizing, I deserved that_.

"There's been too much bloodshed already, Your Highness. Many hundreds of lives will be spared this way." She thought for a moment, then nodded to her men, who released my arms.

"And your terms?"

"If my man wins, you have to pull out your army."

"And if mine is the victor?" _The sticking point_.

"Then half of all Camelot is yours." She pondered this until the tent flap opened again. A guard brought _Merlin_ into the tent and shoved him to his knees. I _really_ shouldn't have been surprised, but I was. _Of course_ he was the one to trip on the tent to follow me.

"Sorry about this," he told me.

"You know him?" Annis asked.

"He's my servant; he probably followed me here. I—I didn't know about this." _What are the chances she'd believe me and we'd leave alive?_

"Kill him." Merlin flinched back. _Not good_.

"Wait. Please. Release him. He's merely . . . a simpleminded fool." _Sorry Merlin_.

"That is _two_ requests you've made to me tonight, Arthur Pendragon." Annis turned and sat on her throne, considering Merlin or my offer. I wasn't sure. Tension flooded the tent as we waited for her decision. "All right. You will have your trial by combat." _That's a relief_. "Declare your champion by noon tomorrow." I inclined my head to her.

"Thank you, Your Highness."

"And take your fool with you." I nodded and waited while the guard yanked Merlin to his feet. When he was standing, I walked out of the tent. I was _way_ too annoyed to wait for him. He'd nearly ruined my plan and gotten both of us killed. I made my way back to our camp.

"Simpleminded fool?" he asked from behind me.

"Oh, I was being generous, believe me. You nearly got me killed," I said.

"Me? You appeared to be doing a fairly good job of that yourself."

I stopped and turned to him. "What is the matter with you? Why can't you ever just leave me be?" _Anger mode_.

"I'm your friend! I was watching out for you."

"I understand that, in your very mixed up manner, you just want to help. But, please, don't do it again." If I had to _beg_ to give him a sense of self-preservation, I would. But this was _way_ past my annoyance threshold. Now I just wanted some rest.

After we got back to camp, I had the Round Table knights brought into my tent. They needed to know the change of plan and who would be the champion. I expected objections to _both_ decisions.

"But, sire, we'd win this battle. I know we would," Leon said.

"I have no doubt. But at what price? How many men will we lose?" I asked.

"What if we lose this trial? We can't surrender our land," Elyan commented.

"That's the bargain I've made. I think it's fair, and I'll uphold it." That should end the arguments.

"Well, then. All that's left, my lord, is for you to select your champion," Agravaine stated. Every single one of them stepped forward. _Big surprise_.

"It would be an honor, sire," Percival volunteered.

Elyan spoke next, "Sire."

"There is just one choice. One choice which is fair and honorable. This fight's mine." The knights squirmed—they weren't pleased by this, I could tell, but they couldn't oppose their king. I'd counted on that. I got us _into_ this war and I would get us _out_ _of_ this war. _No one_ would die if I could help it.

xxxXxxx

Dawn came way too soon. Before too long, Merlin was strapping on my armor, and seemed nervous. No, nervous wasn't the right word. Overprotective or over concerned were better words. He'd just cinched me in so snugly I couldn't breathe.

"Not that tight, Merlin, I don't want to die before I've even begun," I managed to wheeze out.

He chuckled. "Sorry." Then he loosened the straps a bit.

A thought struck me then—I took off my left glove and pulled off my ring. I turned to face Merlin. "If this should prove to be my last day, give this to Guinevere." I put the ring in his palm; he looked up sharply. "Tell her I'm sorry." He wouldn't understand why, but he'd do it. I wanted her to know that she'd been right after all.

He nodded. "Okay." I put my glove back on while he watched. He wasn't done. "Arthur, do you actually believe this is worth the risk? You're king now. Camelot needs you. Alive." _Was he getting _emotional_?_

"I can't tell how it'll turn out. But this is the first time since I took the throne, I feel in my heart I've chosen the right path." That made me smile, because I realized it was absolutely true.

He glanced away. "Well, whatever happens out there . . . um . . .?" _That_ note had crept into his voice.

"You aren't going to start weeping on me, are you?"

"No. But, uh, good luck." _Good recovery_. I smiled and he returned it in his usual goofy way.

"Thank you, old friend." I grabbed his arm; he looked at me, puzzled. Then Agravaine entered.

"It's time, my lord," he said.

"All right," I replied, but didn't move.

"Is everything ready?" Agravaine asked, confused at my inaction.

"Merlin?" I asked my servant, and stood still for him to look me over.

"Ready," he replied, sounding emotional again.

I nodded and drew my sword to inspect it. "Okay, then." After I determined it was fit to use, I left for the not-very-long-but-seemed-eternal walk to the enemy camp.

Both armies stood in formation, facing each other. Mine stayed on the ridge and would be looking down on the fight. I walked to the area that was cleared for the fight and waited for my opponent to reach me. _Damn, _he was_ HUGE_! He actually bared his teeth and _growled_ at me. I was suddenly uncertain about my chances, but I'd made my bed and I was going to _lie_ in it.

The fight began. The giant picked up his sword and came at me. I readied myself and struck first. After we traded a few blows, I could tell he relied on his brute strength more than technique. That had probably won him a lot of fights. Maybe I could wear him out with my speed. _Or not_. The length of his sword nearly got me more than once. He eventually knocked me to my knees, but I rolled away from the blow and sliced his cheek. He put his hand up to check for blood and roared when he found it. He started raining heavy blows down on me which I barely managed to block.

Suddenly my sword dropped like lead behind me. I looked at it in disbelief; I couldn't lift it! The giant swung down and missed me. I threw a punch at his face but got caught on his upswing. That _hurt_ and I yelled. I tried to lift my sword again, in vain. He began a side-swing, but suddenly froze mid-swing. I left my sword and rammed my shoulder into the giant, knocking him over and falling myself. The giant rose first and kicked me over. _Oh _that_ hurt_. He picked up his sword and stood over me. I was a sitting duck as I watched him raise his sword over his head.

I wasn't the only one shocked when the sword slipped from his hands and dropped into the ground behind him. He froze and I rolled up behind him, grabbed the sword and sliced across his back. The giant fell to his knees and I kicked him over. I readied myself to impale him and looked up at my men on the ridge. _I knew what to do_. I turned back to the giant and yelled as I stuck the sword into the ground by his head. My army began cheering behind me while I stared at the one in front of me.

"Long live the king!" Percival- I found out later -started. The whole Camelot army soon took up the cry: "Long live the king! Long live the king! Long live the king! Long live the king!"

Queen Annis began walking my way and stopped when she reached me. "You're victorious, Arthur Pendragon. And you may trust that I shall fulfill completely the terms of our agreement." I nodded minutely. "My army will depart by sunset."

"Thank you, Your Highness," I said. She held out her arm and I grasped it.

She let go and spoke again. "Tell me something. You showed mercy to my champion. Why?"

"Because it isn't victory I'm after. It is peace. I trust that today will signify a new beginning for our kingdoms." Victory implies someone won something over the other. But _no one_ lost today.

"There is something about you, Arthur Pendragon. Something which gives me hope for us all." She looked at me for a moment, then turned to leave. I didn't know what she meant, but she was wise and I could see the hope she spoke of in her eyes.

I turned and walked back to camp. My men were already starting to break it down and pack up. When all was ready, we got on our horses and rode for home.

Before we even got through the gate, I could see the people crowding the streets and waving flags. Streamers had been strung from house to house. The cheering was deafening and I didn't know where to look, so I just waved everywhere. As we rode into the square, I heard a quiet but familiar voice behind me say, "You're a hero."

I looked back at him. "Thank you, Merlin."

"Not to me. To your people." _I'm not surprised_.

"Right. You don't think that?" I asked.

"Perhaps I know something they don't." Oh _really_?

"Which is?"

"You know, that you're a cabbage head." I gave him a puzzled look, then considered his insult.

"Perhaps. I should've listened to you, Merlin. This time, I think you were right. Even though you're the worst servant in the five kingdoms." I dismounted while he laughed. The courtiers arranged on the steps applauded as I walked between them and into the palace. I don't feel like I deserved that applause but I didn't feel like stopping them. I just wanted to go to bed.

xxxXxxx

For once, I got my wish. That's how I ended up lying in bed, in the daytime, doing nothing. It was _heavenly_—for a while. Then I got incredibly bored and started staring at the ceiling for fun. I think I'd actually started to drift off when _finally_ someone knocked on the door.

"Enter," I said, trying to shake off the drowsiness. It was _Guinevere_. She held something and walked toward my desk with it. "Gwen."

She nodded and said, "Sire." _Formal, ouch_. I grabbed the flowers I had for her and rolled out of bed.

"These . . ." I hurried over and presented the tiny purple bouquet to her. They flopped limply. _Eek_. ". . . are for you." She looked at me, then the flowers, and took them reluctantly. I continued as cheerfully as I could manage, "They aren't much, I know. I . . . plucked them by the roadside."

"Thank you sire, but . . . I don't understand what they're for." She was expressionless, and there was no life in her voice.

"They're to say, 'I'm sorry Guinevere.'" She looked confused for a moment before going expressionless again.

"You don't have to apologize. I realize why things have to be the way they are."

_This was going to take some work_. "Mm. A good king should . . . value the customs of the past, as my father did."

She looked down. "I know that." _Morose_.

"But a good king should also . . ." I took a step toward her. "Be faithful to himself . . . and do as he feels inclined . . ." I took another step toward her. "And be seen with those whom he's fond of." I gave her a significant look, and she finally seemed to catch on.

She lookup at me hopefully. "Even if they aren't . . . appropriate?" _Especially if they aren't appropriate_. I grabbed her waist and pulled her to me. I kissed her dramatically then pulled away and looked down at her, tilting my head playfully.

"Does that satisfy your curiosity?"

She seemed to catch my mood and gave it right back. "It's a start." _There's my Guinevere_. We grinned like idiots at each other for a moment, then came back together with the most passionate kiss.

That was easily one of _the best_ days of my life.

***This is the episode that _really_ made me _hate_ Agravaine. Or as my family calls him "Agra-pain in the neck." He thinks he's so awesome, and dang, is he _wordy_! Calling him a "slimy git" would be way too nice for him. Also, I'm not completely sure how much time passes between Arthur's first chat with Annis and his fight with Big Ugly. I made it the very next day, although there could be a day in between.


	6. Chapter 6

**This is probably my favorite episode, although I can't pinpoint exactly why LOL. But it's a great comedic break between two serious episodes. And now I give you _A Servant of Two Masters_.**

**To Mika271170- Thank you for the flattery. :) I apologize for the wait, RL knocked me flat this week.**

* * *

Our group was in high spirits as we returned to Camelot. We'd just finished discussing and writing the treaty with Queen Annis in Caerleon. Our route home was a secret, since we now knew Morgana was actively seeking to kill me by any means necessary. So we'd chosen a circuitous route home to try to fool her or anyone working for her.

Merlin, Gwaine, Leon and Percival were riding with me. Out of the five of us, Merlin was the only one unaware of our route. That's mostly because he would dislike going through the upcoming valley. I noticed when he'd finally realized where we were going—he rode up next to me. It was hard to miss the stone head of some old King lying in the grass.

"Arthur? Are you sure about this?" he asked.

"Do you have something else in mind?" I asked him back. We were kind of far from any place.

"Anything. Only bad things happen in the Valley of the Fallen Kings. No sane person would go in there."

"Exactly," Percival interjected.

"Our route's a secret, Merlin. That's why we took it." As if they'd been waiting for just the right moment to prove me wrong, a band of armed men ran down the hillside, yelling.

"You could have fooled me!" Merlin yelled over the roar.

I threw off my cloak and yelled back, "No need to be smug!" I nudged my horse into action as more men rushed down the opposite hillside. The knights drew their swords as mounted men charged at us from behind.

"Yaaah!" Percival yelled and charged a man, cutting him down from his horse. I fought a man on foot; he promptly pulled me off my horse. I sliced across his belly in time to fend off another attacker. In my peripheral vision, I saw Merlin dismount. A horseman was charging us from behind.

"Arthur!" he yelled. I looked back in time to see the horseman had fallen and was being dragged behind his horse. I finished off my current attacker, and another came running. When I'd finished him, I turned to see another horseman ride by, swinging a mace. But I paused in horror when I saw Merlin sprawled limply on the ground, face first.

I quickly ran over to him and helped him up. Luckily he was conscious, so I only had to support _most_ of his weight as we hurried away from the scene. I hefted him through the forest, still being pursued by the bad guys. I directed him around some tree roots on a slope to hide behind. Fortunately it worked and they passed us by.

"They should deal with their anger," Merlin commented.

"They already did, on you," I replied, semi-serious. He chuckled through his pain; the grimace on his face unsettled me though. He was hurting a lot more than he let on.

I'd like to have stayed there to let him rest more, but we were still too close to the scene of the attack. I looked up at the sun before I pulled him up again, gently. We'd have to go opposite its course to get back to Camelot. I turned him until we faced vaguely eastward and we started hobbling through the forest again.

Soon it was sunset and we'd have to stop for the night. I began scanning the landscape for good shelter. I spotted some fallen logs not too far ahead and hauled Merlin in that direction. "A night of rest then you'll be polishing my armor. It could really use a scrub," I told him, trying to keep things light.

I eased him down against the logs and took off my glove to check his wound. He looked down at the wound then up at me. He seemed puzzled by something; maybe it was the fact that _I_ was tending to _his_ injury. I was usually the injured one. I tried to downplay how bad it looked to cover my worry. "I've seen worse. I've certainly seen worse."

"I'm a dead man," he said with a smile. _Oh brother_.

"You aren't going to die, Merlin. Don't be such a wimp!" I didn't like his gallows humor.

He _still_ smiled. "If I do die, will you call me a hero?"

"Most likely." I didn't like this conversation.

"But while I'm still living, I'm a wimp?"

_That sums it up_. "That's how these things go, unfortunately. You get the praise when you aren't there to appreciate it."

"Well . . . except if you're the king."

_Nailed it_. "Hey, it should have _some_ benefits."

"You have an excellent servant." He smiled at his joke again, but that didn't hide his pain. I noticed.

Okay, he needed some serious reassurance. "You're right. I do. A servant who's exceedingly brave. And extremely loyal, to be truthful. Seldom cowardly." I looked at him to make sure he knew I was sincere.

"Thanks for saving my life."

"You'd do it for me." I _knew_ he would. He already _had_, more than once.

We didn't talk much after that; we were both tired from the long day. After I made sure Merlin was comfortable, I found a sturdy tree close by and leaned against it. I crossed my sword over my chest and drifted off.

I woke to the sound of snapping twigs and chirping birds. I looked over at Merlin—he was awake, still lying against the fallen tree and grimacing in pain. I stood up quickly and sheathed my sword. "I'd like to say we could lie here and relax, but after ten minutes or so, we'd be mercenary mincemeat," I told him and grabbed him by his good arm to yank him up and over my shoulders.

"Leave me," he replied pitifully.

"It really isn't the time for jokes." _Did he seriously think I'd actually _leave_ him?_

"Please leave me." _Apparently_.

"Of course. Whatever you say." I ignored his plea and headed off eastward again, with him on my back.

I came to a set of stairs in a trench and saw a man at the other end. _Great_. I sat Merlin down; he grunted in pain. I turned and drew my sword to engage the man. Another man ran past Merlin and came at me from behind. I killed those two only to see more men run past Merlin and into the trench toward me. I braced myself for the battle, but heard a rumbling sound.

I looked up to see boulders of various sizes fall into the trench, cutting me off from the bad guys. Of course that also cut me off from Merlin. I panicked and yelled, "Merlin!" Boulders filled the crevice entirely. I had no way of knowing what they'd do to him, and that scared me a lot. I now had no choice but to continue walking back home.

At one point, I heard soft footsteps coming toward me. I dodged behind a tree with my sword at the ready. The footsteps divided and came around the tree. I shifted, and the man in front of me whirled to attack. _Leon_. I parried his swing and he smiled as he saw his "opponent." I forced his sword down and said, "Good to see you, too." We clasped arms as I watched Gwaine, Percival and Elyan come around the tree.

When we got home, Leon and I went directly to the council chambers. Guinevere and a few other knights were there. I knew it wouldn't be long before Gaius showed up. Indeed, even before I could get a bite to eat or a sip of water, he strode into the room.

"Where's Merlin?" he asked. _No standing on formality_.

"He's alive. Last I saw him, anyway." I turned to Leon to give him instructions. "Send out patrols at dawn. Comb every inch of that forest."

"Yes, sire," Leon replied, and took the other knights with him.

I walked over to Gaius. "We'll get him back, Gaius." I put a hand on Gaius's shoulder to comfort him. "We _will_." I wouldn't stop looking until he was found, one way or the other. I walked back to my chambers to unwind and eat.

xxxXxxx

After I'd freshened up, I went back down to the council chambers. The council had a few things to discuss with me, and I had a few questions for them. We were still talking after nightfall when Leon and Agravaine came in to report the search results.

"We've combed the forest," Agravaine said. He sounded exhausted.

"Comb it again," I replied.

"Sire, there's no trace of Merlin," Leon stated.

Agravaine walked around the table to me. "None . . . but . . . this." He slapped a scrap of Merlin's bloody jacket onto the map in front of me. I just stared at it, disbelieving. Surely this couldn't mean what he was suggesting. "I'm sorry for the loss of a loyal and . . ." I held up a hand to stop him—I refused to accept he was gone.

"The mercenaries, any news about them?" _Hired thugs_, I'd been told.

"There was no sign," Leon answered.

"Probably hired by that snake Alinor," Agravaine spat.

"It can't be. _How?_ Our route was known to just a few in Camelot," I said.

"Then there's just one deduction we can make," Leon stated. He suddenly had everyone's attention. "We have a traitor among us." That _did_ seem the only logical conclusion. With that disturbing thought, the meeting broke up. I returned to my chambers, thinking things I'd rather not be thinking. Eventually though, my long days caught up to me and I went to sleep.

xxxXxxx

I woke to the sound of a rooster's crow. I opened my eyes slowly, only to see a blurry, vaguely Merlin-like figure standing at the end of my bed. _What the . . . is he back?_ I sat up a bit more and opened my eyes further so I could focus better. Who I saw was definitely _not_ Merlin, but dressed much like him.

"Who are you?" I asked, totally confused.

"I'm your new manservant, sire. I have cleaned your armor, sharpened your sword, and chosen your clothes. There's a bit of autumn in the air today, sir. And now, if you'd permit me, I'd like to serve you breakfast," he said.

I remained baffled throughout his speech and wasn't quite sure _what_ he'd said. "Breakfast" had caught my ears though, and I looked over to my desk to see it covered in enough fruit and bread to feed _several_ of me. "What's your name?"

"George, sire, at your service." He walked over to me, grabbing and unfolding a napkin on his way. He then placed it over my chest, not letting me even sit up.

"George, listen George, this is all quite impressive." He lifted me up slightly to place an extra pillow behind my back. "Quite impressive, really, but I already _have_ a manservant. Okay, he's grungy-looking, has awful manners . . ." He handed me a goblet. ". . . he's very forgetful. He appears to hang around the tavern a lot." He handed me a plate. "But he is . . ." I looked at the goblet and plate in my hands while George fetched—a fork. "My manservant." I gave him back the plate and goblet. "Honestly, I rather like it that way." I tossed the napkin at George and threw off my covers to get out of bed. I glanced back at him; he looked quite confused at my actions. But he couldn't be as bewildered as I was.

After I was dressed, I sent George off to make sure my horse was saddled. Merlin _hadn't_ returned on his own after all, so I was going after him. I _would_ find him too. I sent someone to fetch Gwaine—he wouldn't mind staying out as long as it took to find Merlin; they were friends. As I walked to the main entrance, I ran into Guinevere and told her what I was doing. Naturally, she had a problem with that. She followed me out of the palace while making her arguments. "I'm as concerned about Merlin as you are."

"You won't change my mind," I told her.

"Have the mercenaries even left the forest?"

"I _have_ to go."

"The patrol's found no trace of him."

I stopped and turned back to her. "Do you honestly think I'd accept that? That I'd just stand here and admit that Merlin's gone? I won't give up until I give it a try."

She kept walking toward me. "I know, but only . . . do something for me. Just don't go alone."

"He won't be," Gwaine's voice said behind me. We looked back at him; he'd ridden up to us, ready to go.

_Perfect timing_. "See? Now you've sentenced me to a day of pointless prattle," I told her.

"Good," she replied, satisfied.

I placed a hand on her shoulder briefly. "We'll come back."

"You better." I turned to mount my horse and we rode out of there at a gallop. I couldn't find him soon enough. Who _knows_ what those mercenaries had done to him?

We hadn't gotten too far before I started to tune out Gwaine's "pointless prattle." He'd just started a speech about Merlin's many virtues, in his eyes. "You know what I like about Merlin? He doesn't expect any thanks. Everything he does is just for the good of doing them."

Suddenly I sensed something up ahead of us, in the fog. I held out my arm for silence, and surprisingly, Gwaine shut right up. We stopped then heard something moving around, so we dismounted and drew our swords.

"Declare yourself," I said loudly. _Something_ grasped a tree ahead and to the right of us. I watched as a muddy man-shaped figure pulled itself up and stepped onto the path. _He_ laughed when he saw me and Gwaine. It took me a moment, but I recognized him and lowered my sword in surprise. "Merlin!" He laughed a bit more while I stuck my sword in the ground and walked over to him. "I thought we'd lost you! Haha!" I was so glad to see him that I threw my arms around him for a big hug. He was completely covered in mud, but I didn't care about that or the fact that Gwaine was there to witness my emotional outburst. I was just too relieved.

We walked a bit until we could find a decent source of water to clean him up a bit. Neither Gwaine nor I fancied getting stinky bog mud on our horses. Slightly less muddy, he got on Gwaine's horse, behind him, and told us his story. The mercenaries had bound him, hand and foot. They had a healer who took care of his injury while they debated what to do with him. Eventually they knocked him out and he woke up in the bog he'd crawled out of, glad to be alive.

When we got home, Guinevere went to give him a hug but stopped when she saw his state. I ordered him to get a bath and take the rest of the day off. He was always asking for a day or night off, so I thought he'd happily take it. Instead, he pouted and trudged off to Gaius's chambers. _How strange_.

xxxXxxx

After I'd cleaned myself up, Guinevere was thoughtful enough to bring me some lunch. We both assumed that Merlin would be resting the remainder of the day, like I'd told him to. Although maybe it was too much to expect him to actually _do_ what he'd been told.

I'd just sat down at the table, and even though I didn't want her to do so, Guinevere began serving me. "Thank you, Guinevere. That's so sweet," I told her.

"Oh, I should've known," came a familiar voice from the doorway. _Huh?_

She poured my drink while I said, "Hello, Merlin."

"What's this?" He walked over to the table.

"Um . . . lunch," I replied.

He turned to Guinevere. "_Really?_ I know you love taking every chance to be by his side . . ." Her smile vanished. He sounded _upset_. "But this is getting absurd. . . You'll be bringing his bath water next."

"Merlin, is something amiss?" I asked.

"_This_ is what's amiss." He pointed to the food Guinevere had brought.

"I only wanted to help. I thought you'd want to rest," she said, incredulously. I wasn't any less surprised by his attitude.

"Rest? No, no, I don't want rest. Do you realize it took me a long time to prepare this meal? I cooked it myself." He swapped the plate he'd prepared with Guinevere's.

"I think this is just a simple mix-up." I switched the plates back, handing his to him.

"Ah, yes. Of course you'd take her side, wouldn't you?" He seemed _very_ offended and gave me a disgusted look.

I can't remember him acting like _this_ before. "_Excuse me?_ Merlin, I think you're just tired. You've been through quite a trial." I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt.

"I only want to continue my regular duties," he nearly snarled. _Snarled?_

"Well, I'd be happy to have your help getting ready for the knighting ceremony later."

"Thank you, sire," he said, barely concealing a glare. He _did_ glare at Guinevere. She gave him an uncertain smile back. He started to leave, but turned to say something, then thought better of it and left. Guinevere and I looked at each other, confused. Was he really upset about the lunch, and why? Normally he'd just laugh it off and sneak away to eat it. He must just be tired and upset by his captivity. That's all either of us could come up with.

xxxXxxx

A bit later in the day, I returned to my chambers to get ready for that knighting ceremony. I hope Merlin had snapped out of whatever funk he'd been in before. It had been an odd enough day without his odd behavior.

When I saw him in the room, I started talking. Sometimes he helped me think through things better than I did alone. "This seems like a poor use of time. We've a possible traitor in our midst and I have to get ready for a knighting ceremony." He looked like he'd been straightening out the bed curtain. _Okay?_ I just continued, "Perhaps one of the knights wishes to kill me." I walked around him to the side of the bed while he dashed over to the wardrobe. "Perhaps it's you. Ha." I looked up to see if he got the joke, but he looked _nervous_ for some reason. "Don't look so anxious, Merlin. I don't actually believe you want to kill me." I walked past him again to get to my changing screen.

"What do you think about Percival?" I asked him.

"Very big," he replied. _Well, yeah_.

"Does that mean he's a traitor?"

"Will you get dressed?" he asked impatiently.

His tone concerned me; I stepped out from behind my screen. "Do you have somewhere to be?"

He started walking toward me. "Percival's family was murdered by Cenred's army. He despises anything to do with Morgana."

"That's right. And he has vowed his allegiance." I walked over to the wardrobe and paused there, thinking. "I'm wrong to distrust him. I have to get it out of my mind."

"You need to get dressed." He still seemed impatient. _Curious_.

"Of course." I opened the wardrobe and pulled out a belt. "Elyan didn't come with us." I closed the wardrobe and walked back to the screen. "Perhaps he's nervous about my relationship with Guinevere." I went behind the screen again. "Elyan, might he be the traitor? My father killed his father. Would you bring me my ceremonial sword?" Now dressed, I walked out into the room again.

"Ceremonial sword. _Yes_." He said that like he was particularly pleased.

"It's difficult to think that Elyan would dislike me, but . . . can't trust anybody. In truth, I think you, Merlin, are the one person I _can_ trust."

Just then, Guinevere and Gaius burst into the room, probably to hurry me along. "I know, I'm late," I told them. I walked toward the door and heard a _clang_ behind me. _Merlin_. I turned to look at what he'd done now and saw him on the floor, unconscious. It looked like he'd run into the column, with the sword, and fallen over. _Yeesh, nice timing_. I picked up the sword, hoping he wouldn't hurt too much from that, then strolled out. Guinevere smiled prettily as I walked by her. _So sweet_.

xxxXxxx

During the knighting ceremony, another possible traitor came to mind. I didn't like the possibility and hated the thought that it might be true. But I'd already questioned everyone else involved and ruled them out. Time to interview the only man left unquestioned. I made my way to Agravaine's chambers.

His door was open and he was sitting at his desk, reading. When he realized I was there, he turned. "Arthur," he said, and stood to face me. "What an unexpected delight."

_Not for me_. "There's something I want to talk with you about, Uncle." I walked in slowly and kept my hand on my sword. He should know that this was serious.

"Certainly."

"I'm afraid I can't overlook the traitor issue like you do."

"Sire, I hope you don't believe I intended—" I held up a hand to cut him off. He should know the facts before he defends himself.

"I've been investigating how the mercenaries learned our route through the forest. None of the knights had the chance to betray me. I've interviewed the councilors. Only three knew about the treaty. Of those, only you knew the route I planned to take."

"Are you really implying that I—" I stopped him again.

"I have no wish to doubt you, Uncle."

"Then let me assure you again that you've no cause to doubt." He came closer. "You're all that remains of my beloved sister. If I betray you, Arthur, I betray her, and that I won't do." He seemed a bit too eager to state his innocence; I still wasn't convinced. "There's another person who knew your route. Gaius."

_Gaius?_ But there was no way he'd ever betray me _or_ Camelot. _Would he?_ He's served here so long and has never shown any _hint_ of betrayal. Then again, neither had _Morgana_. I didn't like this idea either, but Agravaine had put it in my head and I couldn't get it out. I fell asleep, still wondering.

xxxXxxx

When Merlin woke me in the morning, I was still in a pensive mood. After breakfast, he prepared a bath for me while I thought out loud again from behind my screen.

"My father prepared me well for being king, but didn't tell me anything about the loneliness of the job." I started undressing. "How it is to have all eyes on you, expecting you to supply the answer. Throughout the years I watched him, he never hesitated in his conviction. He was strong, he was certain. And I'm not there yet." I heard the water start to bubble. That was weird—I hope he hadn't used boiling water _again_.

"I welcome the advice of others. Perhaps I've been unwise to do so. Everybody has an agenda." _Was that the door opening?_ "I feel like I can't trust anyone anymore." I heard a mysterious _clang_ and a grunt. Completely undressed, I decided to step out from behind the screen to see what was happening. "Is that how it is, Merlin?. . . Guinevere!" She'd suddenly appeared; Merlin was nowhere to be found. I quickly lowered my hands for cover.

"Arthur!" she said, surprised. I could see her trying to pretend there was nothing awry. But she averted her eyes when she finally realized my extreme lack of clothing.

I took advantage of that, and quickly- not quickly enough -grabbed a pillow to cover myself. I attempted to act dignified, but it was a sham, and we knew it. That's when I noticed Gaius was there too. "Gaius." They just stood there, staring at me. I had to get us out of this. "You're not Merlin." _THAT wasn't going to help. Why did I say that?_

"No," she answered, and shook her head. "There was an issue with the bath water." She said that really fast. _There could be several reasons for that_.

"Really?" I said, not quite believing her.

"Yes. It's cold. Very cold." I walked forward to check it out. "Merlin's gone to solve it. I don't think you should have a bath today!" She'd said _that_ very quickly too; that, more than anything, made me look up at her. The way she was acting confused me. She looked on the verge of panic about something, but smiled to cover it.

I might not buy her reasoning, but I stepped back anyway. "Right . . . Good thing I'm not really dirty, then."

She laughed nervously. "It's a good thing indeed!" Gaius laughed with her; it looked like _he_ knew what Guinevere was panicked about.

I nodded at them awkwardly, giving them permission to leave, _anytime_. I stood there for a moment, waiting for them to go. When they didn't, I decided to side step until I was behind my dressing screen. It was awkward in the extreme, but finally they left. _Not_ a good beginning to my day.

xxxXxxx

My day _didn't_ improve after that. _Mer_lin went missing again and I was stuck with that _George_ the rest of the day _and_ the next morning. When I asked Guinevere if she'd seen Merlin she said she hadn't since the afternoon. Gaius said the same, and added that he was probably in the tavern. _Again_.

So when I'd heard he was back later in the morning, I had a brief conversation with George. He agreed to my plan, fortunately. It would be a joy to him but a punishment for Merlin—he'd be as irritated at George as I was. After that conversation, I asked Guinevere to find him, not bothering to hide my wrath.

I sat in my chair waiting for him, keeping up my irritated act. I tapped my fingers on the armrest while I waited. It enhanced my act, so I kept it up even when Merlin was in front of me. "Two entire days in the tavern."

He balked at that. "I don't think it was _that_ long." That innocent face wouldn't work now.

"Tell me one good reason why I shouldn't sack you right now." I jabbed the table for good measure. He looked confused. _Good_.

"Then you'd have nobody to polish your armor, bring you breakfast, sort out your clothes."

Not nearly convincing enough, but it didn't have to be. "Ha, but that's where you'd be wrong. George!" At this signal, George entered. "Merlin, this is George. George is, probably, the most competent servant I've ever met. He'll be instructing you for the rest of the week." _The look on his face was priceless!_

"Instructing me?"

"If you want to stay in my employ."

"We'll begin in the armory. Lesson one is my favorite. Polishing," George told him. My act started to crumble as I tried hard not to laugh.

"Yes, that's my favorite, too," Merlin replied. _Oh, the tone of his voice!_

George nodded, then jerked his head to indicate Merlin should follow him. He did, but stopped at the door. "Tell me something . . ." I pretended to look serious again as Merlin walked back. "If he's so great, why didn't you simply give him the job?"

I dropped my act completely. "He's _really_ dull. I've never met anyone so _boring_. The man cracks jokes about _brass_." Merlin looked even more puzzled than before. I patted him on the arm consolingly. "Anyhow, off you go. It'll be fun." _Best punishment idea _ever_!_

He gave me the fakest smile I'd ever seen on his face and nodded. Then he walked to the door but paused again to look back at me. He still looked puzzled, but I gave him a smug smile and a nod. _Go on!_ It looked like he'd finally figured this one out; he grinned back and left the room. Maybe now there wouldn't be any more trips to the tavern.

xxxXxxx

Later in the day, Leon, Gwaine, Percival, and Elyan came to me, looking very rumpled. They told me how they'd run into an old sorcerer in the woods. The one who'd killed my father, in fact. They'd confronted and surrounded him while he insulted them politely and _not so_ politely. He'd apparently threatened my life, in not so many words, and they tried to attack him. But he'd fought back in various ways, mostly by throwing them around like rag dolls. Eventually he'd knocked out Gwaine and used the other three as a set of steps to climb up to his horse. They were too dazed to pursue him when he rode off.

I should have been upset that they didn't capture the man who'd killed my father, but I was laughing way too hard to be angry. They looked quite indignant at my amusement, but I didn't care. This was the funniest thing that had happened all week and I deserved a laugh.

* * *

**I'm going to skip a couple of episodes; 4.7 and 4.8 are OK, but not as interesting to me. Maybe I'll come back to them later. ;)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry for the longer wait on this one. Given the amount of emotional turmoil in this, I had trouble putting it into words. I've never gone through something like this, but the show's portrayal seemed _very_ accurate. Prepare yourself for the _extreme_ angst that is 4.9, _Lancelot du Lac_.**

* * *

I've finally made the decision. I really don't know why it took me so long to make it, and honestly, I'm ashamed of that fact. We've been waiting over four years. At least _I_ have. But it was time. Camelot was between dangers at the moment, so I'd finally caught my breath long enough to arrive at this decision. Now I had to break the news to someone very unlikely to accept it.

I sat staring out the window while I waited for him to come. He'd protest the late hour, but I didn't really care. Telling him was just a courtesy. Soon enough I heard the door open. "Uncle," I said without turning around.

"It's late, Arthur. What's worrying you?" Agravaine asked.

I finally turned. "Nothing. Nothing at all. But I've decided something and I thought it only fair to tell you right away. However, you probably won't like what I have to say . . . I'm going to marry Guinevere." Merlin, who had been cleaning my armor, dropped a piece or two. _Maybe I should've told him first to avoid dented armor_. I glanced over at him.

"Sorry," he said.

I focused back on Agravaine. "But only if she says yes."

"Sire—"

I cut him off and started walking toward him. "No. I know what you're about to say. 'She's a servant. I'm the king. It's not what's done.'"

"I'm afraid it's a bit more serious than that." _Big surprise_.

"Guinevere has proven herself to be a wonderful support and faithful counselor these last few months." I went back toward the window.

"You don't need a woman for support or counsel, sire."

He wasn't going to get to me. "I think you've too much stubble to be my bride." Merlin chuckled at that then belatedly tried to cover it up with a cough. I appreciated that. "Excellent counsel, true support, they're precisely what I need. I don't want my queen to fill her days by gliding around the palace agreeing with everything I say. Neither do the people. So, I'm determined—I want Guinevere to be my queen, and I want you to acknowledge her as such." Agravaine smiled and nodded, but I know he still didn't agree. Good thing I didn't need his permission.

xxxXxxx

By the time I woke the next morning, I had a basic plan for how I wanted to propose. I'd need Merlin's help, but I think I could count on him enough to _not_ screw things up. He was exceedingly pleased by the whole idea anyway, like _he'd_ been waiting for this to happen too. Well, he _was_ one of the only people who'd known about this relationship as long as I have.

It took us the better part of the day to set everything up. It was a good thing he could find out her schedule and distract her if needed. Surprise was a huge component of my plan. Soon enough evening came, almost time for Guinevere to go home. Merlin was off at her home, lighting candles and whatever. I'd just told him to make it look nice. I found the bedroom my lady was working in, and just stood at the door for a few moments, watching her.

When I was ready, I walked up behind her and put my hands over her eyes. She tensed until she heard my voice. I told her to keep her eyes closed because I had a surprise for her. Then I pulled my hands away and reached for the material around my neck. I wrapped the cloth around her eyes. She adjusted the cloth a bit and I reached for her hand to lead her out of the room.

It was humbling, the way she trusted me so completely. She didn't know where we were going or what would happen when we got there, but she still came with me. Maybe my uncle had it backwards—maybe _I_ wasn't worthy of _her_.

I led her through the castle, outside, over the bridge, through the lower town, and to her house. She probably recognized the sound of her door opening and closing, but that was all right. When the door had closed, I took off her blindfold and tossed it away. When she saw all the candles lit around her home, her mouth fell open. I just led her over to a stool at her table and helped her sit. I knelt in front of her and looked into her beautiful eyes. They lit up as she recognized what I was doing

"Guinevere, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" I waited for her to answer. She seemed uncertain for a moment, then jumped forward to embrace me. While I appreciated and enjoyed the gesture, I was confused when she didn't let go. Gwen sniffled what I hoped were tears of joy. "Is that a yes?"

She gasped and pulled back. "Oh, sorry! Yes. Yes. Yes." We smiled at each other. I pulled her engagement ring off my little finger and placed it on her first finger. She smiled even brighter. This was the _new_ best day of my life.

xxxXxxx

It took another day to prepare Guinevere's engagement present—A jousting tournament. Father had done it for Mother, so I decided to go with it. She'd sit in the royal box, where she'd see everything and want for nothing. And I was keeping it local; only knights already here would participate. That would cut down a lot of the headache associated with an open tourney.

Today we'd just practice our skills, riding out to hook a hanging ring with our lances. Of course Guinevere, as the lady being honored, would get to remove them. She sat with Agravaine while I took my turn. Naturally I caught the ring easily; I had been training like this for most of my life.

I rode to the box and while Guinevere stepped down to take the ring off of my lance. She smiled beautifully, the smile she saves just for me. I smiled back; how could I not? We were so close to what we'd waited so long for.

I rode back toward the tents to recover. I took off my helmet as a groom stepped forward to lead my horse away. Merlin was also waiting for me there. "I must admit, this is definitely an original engagement present." I tossed him my helmet and dismounted. "But, as romantic tokens go, you could've given her flowers. You could have had a song composed. Rather, you've given her two days of sweaty men beating the brains out of each other."

I'd walked past him to get some water. "Just as it should be. My father had a tourney before his marriage. It's custom."

"Ah, so it isn't even an original token, then." _He _would_ think that_.

"I'm sure my bride understands." I used my goblet to indicate Guinevere in the stands. She smiled as she took the ring from Percival's lance. I saw her thank him and sit down before he rode away. Suddenly trumpets announced another rider.

"Who is _that_?" I asked Merlin, but I didn't really expect an answer.

"I've no idea," he replied. The crowd had gone silent.

The mystery rider ran the practice joust and caught the ring. The crowd cheered and Guinevere applauded politely; clearly she didn't know him either. She stepped down and took the ring from the stranger though she looked puzzled. The mystery knight pulled off his helmet; I couldn't see his face, but Guinevere looked disturbed. He turned to look in my direction and nodded—I was too stunned to reply in any fashion as I beheld someone I never thought I'd see again. _Lancelot_.

Merlin stepped up beside me and I glanced at him. He was no less stunned than I was. Lancelot rode over and greeted us. Thank goodness the day's events were over; I don't think any of us could have continued after that. As the three of us walked to the castle, I heard the crowd behind us whispering furiously. This news wouldn't take long to spread.

Merlin finally broke out of his trance and offered to take Lancelot to a bath chamber and bring his things to Gaius's chambers. Lancelot agreed and the two men went in that direction. Guinevere caught up with me, but we didn't converse much beyond broken sentences. When we reached my chambers, she left to find someone to bring me bath water.

xxxXxxx

As previously arranged, all the Round Table knights met in the royal dining room for dinner. I knew I didn't have to worry about Lancelot; Merlin would make sure he made it. Lancelot sat at one end of the table and I took the other, keeping Guinevere by me. _Something_ made me wary this evening.

After we'd been served our meal, someone asked Lancelot to tell his story. He seemed reluctant, but spoke anyway. "I'm afraid I don't remember much after I walked through the veil. My tale won't be as informative as I would like."

"We're just happy to see you. Well . . . happy and surprised," I replied, to encourage him.

"I'm indebted to the Madhavi people. When they found me, I was close to death. Fortunately for me, their tradition dictates that they must assist the needy . . . And I was definitely that."

"Where were you found?" Leon asked.

"On one of the silk road routes, high in the Feorre Mountains."

"Cenred's kingdom," Elyan said.

"I wandered with them for several weeks, far into the southern deserts. Then, gradually my strength came back. After I was well enough, I earned my way through the only means I had. By the sword." He smiled ironically and his fellow knights chuckled. "Then I slowly journeyed north."

"You journeyed _home_," I added. He nodded while I took Guinevere's hand on the table. I noticed Agravaine grimace at that. _Too bad_. I continued, "We can't express enough gratitude for what you sacrificed on the Isle of the Blessed. We will always remember it."

Lancelot sighed. "It is really wonderful to be with you again." He stood. "I want to offer a toast. To the people I value most. To Camelot." We all raised our glasses.

"To Camelot," everyone repeated.

"To Camelot," I said. Lancelot smiled we all drank.

Everyone relaxed after that. We ate as Lancelot explained his story in a bit more detail and answered questions now and then. He'd had an incredible experience and I was glad he was back.

xxxXxxx

The tournament started the next day, everyone jousting for real. This would be a lot more fun; it was set at double elimination since there were fewer of us. Everyone would get to joust more and the competition would last longer.

I won my bout and I noticed that Lancelot won his. If we continued and won tomorrow, we'd likely face each other. And _that_ would be _really_ fun.

The next day dawned bright and pleasant. A perfect day to conclude the tourney. I watched as Lancelot won his joust. He'd knocked his opponent off and threw him for a loop—literally. _That had to hurt_! I hoped the losing knight was all right. That win put Lancelot in the final, with either me or Leon.

I took care of Leon without much of a problem, unhorsing him solidly. I rode around to see Guinevere's reaction and make sure Leon was all right. She smiled beautifully and I turned to see Leon conscious. He'd be sore, but all right. I rode back to the start; there'd be no waiting for the final.

Lancelot rode to the opposite side and we acknowledged the crowd, who cheered madly. I put on my serious face, then my helmet and waited. When the flag went up we spurred our horses into action. We hit each other, but _OW!_ His lance had hit me in my upper chest, under my arm. I dropped my lance and leaned forward in pain. I saw Guinevere stand up as I took another lance from the waiting servant. I probably shouldn't go again; it would be smarter to concede and get my injury seen. But I didn't want to be _smart_—I wanted to _win_.

I could barely hold the lance, but turned my horse to face Lancelot anyway. I almost dropped my lance in the process. Lancelot looked fairly unharmed; _lucky him_. I nudged my horse into motion, but couldn't quite lift my lance into attack position. It just hurt too much. As we came closer to each other, Lancelot saw my distress and lifted his lance to yield. The crowd cheered and I slouched again, unable to take the pain anymore. When I reached the end, I dropped the lance and nearly fell off my horse. I allowed myself a moment of weakness; I bent over, holding my side then reached up to yank off my helmet.

I stood up as best I could and saw Lancelot walking to the center of the field. I began walking toward him and we met in front of the royal box. He knelt and said, "My liege."

"Arise, Sir Lancelot. That's not needed." He stood. "I always believed you were the noblest of my knights. A moment ago you confirmed that. Thank you for your courtesy." He bowed. "It will be remembered." I turned to face the box again and the crowd cheered. Guinevere smiled at me and I bowed my head. I turned back to Lancelot and regarded him for a moment.

He nodded and said, "Your Highness." I nodded back and left the field. The next few days would be painful ones.

xxxXxxx

That night, I was asleep and heard a voice call my name. "Arthur." I tried to open my eyes but gave up. I heard my name again. "Arthur." Whoever it was clearly _wasn't_ going to leave. I turned over and opened my eyes, confused. _Oh, it's Agravaine_. "Sorry. But you must see something." What could be so important to wake me in the middle of the night after a long day?

My uncle waited while I dressed, and told me something was happening down in the council chambers. He'd heard voices coming from within. I'm not sure why he didn't just get a couple of guards and go in there himself, but I was awake now so I might as well go.

I stopped in the doorway of the chamber, not quite believing what was before my eyes. It was impossible. It was unthinkable. Yet here it was, and my heart dropped through the floor—Lancelot and Guinevere were locked in a passionate embrace, kissing as if their lives depended up on it.

Many different emotions rampaged through my head all at the same time. At first I was too shocked to move, to breathe even. Then anger took over. I drew my sword and charged at them, yelling loudly, "_AAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_" Lancelot stepped in front of Guinevere and drew his sword. I attacked him furiously, striking again and again on instinct alone. I yelled and elbowed him in the face, making him drop his sword. I was too angry to care and just kept attacking him. He backed into a column, but ducked when I struck. He then shoved me against another column, making me drop _my_ sword.

Guinevere started panicking. "Please!" I dimly heard her yell, but paid no attention.

I shoved Lancelot away from me. He used his momentum to slide within reach of his sword and grab it. He stood to attack me while I was still struggling to stand. The sword somehow fell out of his hand. I reached mine and yelled as I charged the defenseless man. Before I got too far, Guinevere stepped between us, reaching her arms out to stop us.

"No! Please! Please! Please. Stop. Please, please. This has to stop! Please. Please. Stop. This has to stop."

I just looked at her, wondering how all this could have happened. Betrayal took over, washing out most of the anger. It calmed me enough that I was able to make rational decisions, or close enough to rational. They were taken to the dungeon—Lancelot to a high security cell; Guinevere to a different cell. Now I had to calm down enough to really think, take everything into account and make a sound judgment. I went back to my chambers.

I didn't walk too far inside. The emotions just started overwhelming me, so I stopped and stared at the stained glass windows, not really seeing them. But even now I wasn't really alone. Agravaine had followed me. Merlin was here somewhere too, but at least he had the grace to stay quiet. My uncle didn't.

"Far be it from me to counsel you on private affairs, sire, but this is an affair of state as well. They've made a fool of you, and you must answer firmly. Indeed, during your father's reign, the punishment for adultery in noble families was death. But regarding Lancelot, death's too kind for him. He should die, but . . . painfully."

I heard everything he said, but couldn't bring myself to reply right away. He didn't need to tell _me_ the law or how to respond. I resented that. But that resentment was buried under anger, hurt and betrayal of the worst kind. And now I had to make a decision that would not only hurt _me_ more, but _others_ who valued Lancelot and Guinevere. I snapped back to myself and reverted back to my training—show no emotion. I asked Agravaine to convene the council. He hurried off ahead of me while I turned to Merlin. He nodded and followed me out of the room.

I couldn't believe this was still the same night. _Would this torture never end?_ I let Merlin walk in ahead of me, and stood outside deliberating for a couple more minutes. I was content to leave Lancelot in the dungeon for now, but Guinevere . . . just thinking about her caused pain. But I believe I knew what I had to do. I just had to do it without losing my calm.

When I nodded, the guards opened the doors. The court was completely silent for once. The entire council, including the Knights of the Round Table, was present. Guinevere had been forced to her knees between two guards. I strode toward Agravaine, who stood by the throne. I walked past him and the big chair and stood behind it with my back to the court. Now that I was here and had seen everyone, I _couldn't_ do it. I _couldn't_ pass judgment in public.

I spoke softly, "You will leave, please." I heard a few footsteps recede, but not enough. "_All_ of you." No one moved. _Were they waiting for engraved invitations?_ "_Now_." More footsteps left the room, but I knew _one_ wouldn't leave unless directly ordered. "You, too, Uncle."

"Sire—" he tried to protest, of course.

"_Now_." I finally heard him exit and waited for the doors to close. I heard Guinevere sigh. _That could mean so many different things_. I finally turned around and watched her as I walked slowly past her. She didn't look up at me. "Why are you still kneeling? Am I only your king? Stand up for heaven's sake." She stood as I walked around her. "I was to be your husband." I finally came around to her front and faced her, looking her in the eye. She gazed up at me, tears running down her face. I _hated_ seeing her like this. "What happened, Guinevere?" She tried to say something, but had no answer and shook her head. "We were happy. I _know_ we were happy." She nodded again, seeming to be in great pain. "You also felt it?" Again she nodded, but with her eyes closed. She shook her head again, and tried to speak, but was still unable to. Then she nodded again. _What was all that supposed to mean?_ "You love him? You've always loved him?"

She shook her head, and managed a "No."

"Every time you said you wished to be with me?"

"I meant every word." She seemed upset that I doubted her.

"Tomorrow . . . _was_ our wedding day. "

She nodded, clearly in pain, and closed her eyes. Fresh tears joined the others. "I know."

"If you had concerns . . ."

She shook her head. "I wasn't concerned."

"If you had doubts . . ."

"I had no doubts."

I lost my fragile hold on my temper and it leaked into my voice. "**Then pardon **_**me**_**! Because I must be **_**very**_** thick! **_**WHAT WERE YOU DOING?!**_" I stepped up to her and grabbed her upper arms in a vice grip. She sobbed harder and looked at me in complete agony, and_ terror?_ She was unable to respond to me like this, and I realized I'd crossed a line I'd never wanted to cross. I let her go and turned away, trying to calm myself. "Sorry," I said weakly.

At her voice I turned my head. "No. No. No, it is I who should be sorry." I struggled to control my anger, to just _listen_. "You are _everything_ to me, Arthur . . . Once there was Lancelot, some time ago. But I haven't thought about him in that way for _several_ years. I believed he was dead. I never thought I'd see him again and . . . and then . . . when I did, I was . . . overcome. I was attracted to him. I couldn't _stop_ myself, I don't understand _why_." Her voice cracked with emotion here and there. "I love you. You are everything to me." She held her hands to her stomach, almost unable to get her last words out through her sobbing. "All this time, I've waited for you." I felt like I should have been moved by her words more than I was, but I just felt hollow.

"You just had to wait one more day." Some of my emotion leaked out at those words; my voice cracked.

"All I've ever desired is to be your queen. I _still_ desire to be your queen."

"Do you realize what they're saying?" I pointed to the doors to indicate those outside them; Guinevere shook her head. "That during my father's reign, you'd be executed." We stared at each other for a few moments. She took a nervous breath. "I don't wish to see you dead, Guinevere." She looked hopeful at this, but I would quash that. "But I don't wish to _see_ you." Her face was overwhelmed by pain. "I can't _look_ at you _every day_. You will depart Camelot at dawn—"

She cut me off to protest, "Arthur—"

I cut off her plea. "You return upon pain of death."

She sniffled and said, "No." But I walked past her. I had to leave before her panicked pleas got to me. "No, no, no! I can't _be_ without you!"

"That is my judgment," I said as firmly as possible and continued walking to the door.

"Where will I go?"

I stopped at the door and turned to look at her; she'd stopped following. Her pitiful state almost undid my resolve. "I _am_ sorry. I am _really_ sorry." I opened the door and left her alone in there. I nearly ran back to my chambers. This time, no one followed me.

xxxXxxx

I came back down later in the morning, because I did, unfortunately, have things to do. _Life must go on_. But instead, I found myself in the throne room, watching servants remove the wedding decorations. A clearer head than mine must have ordered this to happen, because _I_ hadn't. I must have looked pretty pathetic because no one approached me. No one besides Merlin. _Of course_.

"It isn't too late, sire. I know how Gwen acted was seriously wrong, but she is a good person. I honestly believe that." I'm glad he felt that way—he was in the minority.

"As do I, Merlin . . . As do I," I replied.

"Can you find it in you to forgive her?" _If only it was that easy_.

"That isn't the issue."

"_Agravaine_?" He angrily jumped to the wrong conclusion. "Well, it is him, right? He's _wrong_. People won't call you powerless or foolish. They will call you forgiving and supportive."

I turned my head to look at him. "You're brave to speak your mind, Merlin. Gwen's your friend, I know. But you're wrong. I love Gwen with all my heart. And I'm certain, eventually, I'll find a way to forgive her." He doesn't _understand_. He _can't_. "But won't ever trust her. I can't live like that. Not as a king, definitely not as a husband. And while it hurts . . . it's best that she's gone." I have to be able to trust everyone close to me. Marriage, or rather, _intimacy_, requires an even greater degree of trust. And I just lost that with her.

Just then Agravaine arrived with two guards. "Sire," he barked. I refrained from asking "_what's wrong now?_" because that question just makes _more_ things go wrong. He led us to Gaius's chambers. There, on one of the tables, lay Lancelot. The four of us stood over him, wondering how this could have happened.

"The guards discovered him," Agravaine said.

"What happened?" I asked.

"It seems he committed suicide," Gaius added.

"I suppose we shouldn't be surprised," I mused. This _unfortunately_ solved the other half of my problem. "In every way but one, Lancelot was a man of honor. Make sure he gets a suitable burial." I turned and left, Agravaine following. Merlin told me later that he'd done it himself. _A true friend_.

The Lancelot I knew before would _never_ have tried to seduce Guinevere away from me. He would _never_ have taken his own life. Those were acts of a vain and cowardly man. I'll probably never know _why_ he returned to us only to do those _things_. I hoped he could find peace wherever he was now. And I had to move on now, _somehow_.

* * *

**_Devastated_ doesn't _begin_ to cover what poor Arty is feeling. And it doesn't get better for him for a while. Next chapter, 4.11.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Plenty of angst, friendship and bromance coming up! And the humanizing of Arthur continues- 4.11, _The Hunters Heart_.**

**Mika271170- Thank you! :) I hope you like this one too.**

* * *

It was midmorning and I could already tell it was going to be a _long_ day. Merlin had seemed jittery since he woke me up. I mean, he usually remembers to _breathe_ when he talks but today, I wasn't sure. Maybe not enough air was getting to his brain because he just wouldn't _stop_. And now he had a problem with what I wanted to wear, of all things. Even when I left the room because I needed to get to court, he didn't stop.

"I'm not suggesting it's indecent. Obviously you're the king and I'm not, and it's certainly your decision, there's no question. It could scarcely be my decision, could it? I mean, I'm not exactly the king. But, however, I do believe I need to say something, especially since these clothes are only supposed to—"

_Okay, that's enough_. I halted. "Merlin," I said.

He stopped too. I half-thought he wouldn't. "Yes, my lord," he replied.

"Could you do me a favor?"

"Yes. Definitely. Of course, whatever needs doing."

"Could you . . . please . . . _shut up_." I continued walking to the council chambers. He stayed stopped for a blissful, _silent_ moment. It didn't last.

"Okay, I can do that. I certainly can. That isn't a prob—"

"_Now_." I cut him off from down the hall. I kept walking to the council chamber and went inside. He came in a minute or so after me. I went to the front of the room and faced my court.

"My lords, fellow Knights, gentlemen . . . as you all know, Camelot's claim to the lands of Gedref has long been disputed. Today I proclaim proper that, after several months of private talks, the kingdoms of Nemeth and Camelot have made an agreement." I paused and watched as some of the court murmured amongst themselves. "There's no cause for alarm. It is a just and proper agreement that profits two great kingdoms. In addition, our friendship will be strengthened by a bond that can't be broken. My hand in marriage to Her Royal Highness, Princess Mithian." There was a bit of shocked silence and even more murmuring. Then the court began to applaud. I glanced at Merlin and saw him staring slack-jawed at me before clapping like everyone else. I _wasn't_ looking forward to his verbal reaction.

I walked out of the room and almost immediately heard footsteps behind me. _Right on cue_. I kept going down the corridor. "Why didn't I know about this? Why didn't you say something?" _Yep, he's upset_.

"That's what 'private' means, Merlin. Protecting it from blabbermouths like you." _And because you'd be upset_.

"You can't do this." _And _there's_ my conscience_.

I stopped to look at him. I had to rein him in before he got to the painful bit. "No, that's right, I can't. Oh, hold on a second . . . I'm the king, so I can."

"But isn't it a bit . . ."

_Too late_. I dropped the pretense of humor. "A bit what?"

"Soon?"

I tried to feign ignorance, but that word hurt _a lot_. "What do you mean?"

"Um, well—"

"You mean Guinevere. I _asked_ you not to say her name again." Pretending to be calm.

"That's why I didn't." _Infuriating!_

_I know, but_ . . . "How many times do I need to remind you? Guinevere made her decision. She deceived me. Now she must bear the consequences."

"But—"

_This is getting out of hand_. Time to reassert my authority. "But what?"

He'd caught my _danger_ tone. "Nothing."

"That's correct. _Nothing_." Seething, I turned to leave.

He wasn't done yet. "But you still love her." I stopped in the doorway; I could _feel_ his glare. I paused for a moment, thinking how I could get him to _stop reminding me_. It had to be drastic. I turned around and marched angrily toward him.

"If you _ever_ speak _anything_ like that again, I _promise_ you'll join her in exile _forever_." We glared at each other for a moment and then I left. I _really_ hoped he got the point this time. These little discussions hurt us both; I didn't want to lose anyone else.

xxxXxxx

Late in the afternoon, I received word that the party from Nemeth would soon arrive. I sent word for the royal household to assemble on the front steps to greet them. Finally, trumpets heralded their entrance into the square. They halted their horses not too far from us.

I spoke. "Knights of Nemeth, Camelot welcomes you and offers you our friendship." The guards in front moved their horses sideways to let the princess approach. I stepped down from the stairs and took a breath as I prepared to meet my future bride. Princess Mithian raised her veil and I couldn't stop my jaw from dropping; she was beautiful, especially after she smiled. I quickly collected myself and walked forward as a guard helped her dismount. "Princess Mithian, you are very welcome."

"Thank you, Your Highness. I've heard a lot about you, and you're more handsome in person than rumors indicated." _Huh?_ How was I supposed to interpret _that_?

"Um . . ."

"Are we to remain in the cold all day?"

I was confused, but took the out she'd given me. "Forgive me," I told her. Then I took her hand and faced everyone on the steps. "Tomorrow we'll have a grand feast to welcome our noble friends." The knights, councilmen and courtiers standing there applauded and smiled. They were being very gracious, considering all the unpleasant surprises we'd had recently.

xxxXxxx

The next morning I was in the council chamber going over some paperwork, when Agravaine came in. He told me how Leon had found a boy's body in the moat earlier. When my uncle searched the body, he found a note from Odin's court addressed to the dead boy. He handed it to me so I could read it.

"Young Eoghan was the mapmaker's apprentice. He was a decent lad from a good family," Agravaine said.

"But prepared to sell his nation's secrets for a few gold coins," I mused.

"And he had access to our most sensitive plans."

"The position of the siege tunnels." I folded the letter back up.

"I'm afraid so, my lord. And I don't have to warn you what an adversary could do with those plans."

"Was anything else found with this letter?"

"No, sire."

"Then it's likely the boy succeeded in his task and was murdered for his efforts. I have to check the vaults." I stood up to start walking there.

"Yes, certainly." Agravaine started following me. When we got to the scroll vault, he examined the barred gate. "No indication of forced entry."

"Boy would've had complete access. There's no reason to break the locks." I started walking around the room.

"A complete accounting will be needed, my lord. With your consent, I'll begin right now."

_Good idea_. "For now, double the guard and fetch the mapmaker. It's feasible the boy wasn't working alone." I handed him my torch and left him alone there. He'd get the job done well and quickly.

xxxXxxx

That evening, I escorted Princess Mithian to the promised feast. The cooks had outdone themselves; everything was delicious and well-prepared. Mithian was very well-educated on a variety of subjects, so we got along very well. She had a lively sense of humor that was very compatible with mine. The only sour note was Merlin again. He kept interrupting us by asking me if I wanted more soup_. And here he comes for the third time_.

"Would you care for more soup, sire?" he asked. _Ahh!_

"No, thanks," I told him firmly, and turned back to Mithian.

"You sure?" _Grr!_ I leaned forward and lowered my voice, just for him.

"Merlin, that's the _third _time you've asked me that. Will you simply. . ." I ran out of words and just made a frustrated face that hopefully said "go away." Luckily he got it and left.

Mithian put a hand on my arm. "You were saying?" she asked.

"I . . . was quite surprised," I replied, then my spoon suddenly slipped and dumped soup onto my chainmail. I was so surprised I just stared at it for a moment.

"Oh," Mithian said.

"Uh . . . sorry, I, um . . ." I started to stand so I could clean myself up, but Mithian put her goblet down and wiped my chainmail with her napkin. That was surprising too.

"No damage done." She chuckled a little at the situation and I regarded her with interest. Mithian _definitely_ wasn't a typical Princess. She looked back at me for a moment until Agravaine came up to me and disrupted us.

"The vaults are safe, my lord, and, uh . . . no plans were missing," he said.

I was grateful for his work, but not his timing. "Thank you for completing your duties so quickly, Uncle. Now you'll make up for missed time. We're having dancing and I heard that your jig used to be something to see."

He looked surprised and uncomfortable. "Uh . . . 'used' is the word, sire. A-alas I'm not as agile as I used to be."

"Nonsense."

"I feel that dancing is best done in youth and appreciated in maturity." He walked away quickly. Mithian and I chuckled and shook our heads at him. That put me into good humor for the rest of the night.

When Mithian decided to leave, I escorted her back to her chambers. We continued our easy conversation. "I must tell you—the Festival of Istara is coming up," I told her.

"Should I be concerned?" She didn't seem worried.

"In Camelot it's customary to hold a hunt that day, but Merlin can set up a tour of the city."

"A tour?"

"A few of our buildings go back several centuries."

"Arthur, I love hunting." I stopped, nonplussed. _A woman who likes hunting?_

"Really?" She'd walked ahead of me but stopped and turned to face me.

"Really." I was dumbstruck. "I think these are my chambers."

I nodded, still trying to get over my surprise. "Um, yes."

"Then I wish you a good night, sire." She held out her hand, which I took and kissed.

"Goodnight, Princess." We smiled at each other for a long moment. _Too long_. Eventually she glanced down at our hands.

"If I could . . ?" I waited politely for the end of her question. I completely missed what she was suggesting until she nodded down at her hand. I was mortified and instantly let it go.

I cleared my throat. "Sorry." She turned and walked away. I had a sudden thought. "Mithian." She stopped and turned around again.

"Yes, my lord?"

"I was . . . thinking, maybe . . ." _Why did I stop her again?_

"Yes?"

"You . . . might enjoy some breakfast." _Stupid stupid_ . . .

"Breakfast?" She looked and sounded confused. I couldn't blame her.

"Tomorrow. With me." She started to smile as if to hold in her laughter. "A picnic, uh, someplace. Nice. Someplace nice." _Idiot!_

"I anticipate it eagerly." She smiled again as she turned into her chambers.

I was relieved she'd decided I wasn't a _total_ idiot and would go with me. Then I shook my head at my own stupidity. "Breakfast. I . . . dumb thing to say." I know I'm more intelligent than that; yeesh, I sound like Merlin on a good day! Some kind of king I am, _ugh_. Hopefully sleep would make me a bit more articulate.

xxxXxxx

Luck appeared to be on my side in the morning. It was a gorgeous day; a bit warmer than it had been the last few days. I met Mithian at her chambers and we walked to the front entrance to wait for Merlin. He'd carry all of the food, blankets and pillows for the picnic. I knew it was a little unfair to punish him for my inadequacies, but I didn't care. When he caught up with us, I led us to a ridge with a beautiful overlook.

"How about here? What do you think?" I asked her.

"Well, the view is quite stunning," she replied.

"Yes," I agreed and crouched down to test the ground. Merlin collapsed to the ground next to me and put down all of the picnic gear. _Ha ha_. "Ground isn't very even, is it? It's a little rough." I stood up and walked a few paces to the left. "Ah, how about right here?" Mithian looked down at Merlin, who was probably rolling his eyes. "Okay, this is a lot nicer. Merlin." Mithian walked over to join me. Merlin picked up all the gear and hauled it over to us. He put it down with a huff. I looked at him and sighed contentedly. "Perfect. Perfect." _I don't think he's sore enough yet_. "But, is the view quite as good?"

"Arthur . . ." Mithian had caught on.

"You favor the first. Okay, then. Merlin!" I walked back to the other spot.

"Don't be so unkind."

"He doesn't object, do you, Merlin?"

He shook his head with a smile and said, "No."

_Too polite to talk back in front of the Princess_. "Anyway, he needs strengthening. Have you _seen_ him?"

"Enough. Thank you, Merlin. I'll do what's left." She was very kind. She carried the picnic basket back to the first spot while Merlin picked up the rest.

After Merlin had set everything up and served us, he retreated behind a tree. Mithian and I lounged on the pillows eating and talking. Then, from out of nowhere, I _belched_—loudly. Mithian had been laughing, but it faded as her surprise increased. I was _totally_ embarrassed.

"I'm sorry, I, um, don't quite know what happened there. I . . ." I thumped my chest awkwardly, hoping it was over. Alas, no. I belched _again_, worse than before. Mithian looked at me curiously while I tried to cope with my embarrassment, and failed utterly. I shook my head and tried to apologize again. "I'm not sure what to say." She cut me off with a very loud and long belch then finished with a smile. I was once again taken by surprise and we laughed.

Mithian was a very surprising woman and a nearly unpretentious Princess. She seemed to have no problem with more "masculine" pursuits. And we got on very well. If I had to marry for the benefit of the kingdom, then I was lucky to have found Mithian.

xxxXxxx

The next morning came too quickly, but it was for a good cause. The hunt would be a good distraction from all the politics. I felt myself relax as I mounted my horse and waited for everyone to join me.

When we were all assembled, I led the party out into the woods. The morning mist hadn't evaporated, so it was a bit hard to see. But we could still hear just fine. Men's shouts and trumpet blasts filled the air, hopefully scaring game into running. But there was nothing so far.

Mithian and I caught up to Merlin, who already looked like he'd had it. Of course, this _was_ his least favorite activity too. Maybe I'd dislike it too if I had to walk all day whacking shrubs. "Perhaps we ought to call it off," he said.

"Nonsense. We've only just started," I replied.

"Hardly any use in hunting if there's nothing to hunt, is there?" He had a point there, but we _had_ just started.

"Hmm, we could just provide you a five-minute head start, Merlin." Mithian smiled at my joke.

"Deer!" Leon yelled, and we all turned our horses in his direction. Soon I spotted the doe he'd seen, but lost Merlin in the process. I saw him again as we followed the doe's tracks—we passed by him and he chased after us. "Beauty," Leon said when we saw her again. He aimed, but stopped when he noticed I was next to him, "Sire, she's yours." I aimed and the doe stopped and looked at me peculiarly. I took the shot but the bolt missed. I don't know how that happened; I checked the crossbow to see if something was wrong with it.

"I expected you to shoot well, my lord," Mithian commented before she aimed and fired. "Gold sovereign says she's hit." It did indeed look like Mithian hit her. We nudged our horses forward to search for traces of the doe. Eventually we had to dismount to find the trail.

Leon found it first. "Deer tracks," he said.

"Ah. She couldn't have run far," I commented. Leon walked further on but I stayed where I was. Merlin was acting oddly, looking around worriedly like he was afraid for the doe. Something shiny on the forest floor caught my eye and I crouched down to pick it up. It was Guinevere's engagement ring on a leather string. I'd recognize it anywhere. The sights and sounds of the world faded into the background.

I dimly heard Mithian speaking. "Did you find the trail? My lord?" All I could see was the ring, but Mithian kept speaking. "My lord?" I looked up at Merlin, next to me, and tried to process the pain this shock had brought forward from where I'd buried it. He continued scanning the woods, maybe looking for Guinevere? I could almost _feel_ Mithian's confusion behind me. "My lord?" she asked again, but I was done for the day.

"Our sport is over for today," I said as I got up and walked past Mithian. I barely saw her. Some part of me registered my rudeness, but I was mostly lost in my own head.

"I didn't think you were a sore loser. Sire?" She sounded confused, but I was already gone.

xxxXxxx

When I got home, I went directly to my chambers. I just wanted to be alone and I gave orders to that effect. So many feelings I thought I'd buried had come roaring to the surface of my mind. I just sat there, holding Gwen's ring, turning it over and over while I thought. So of course Merlin would burst in with no warning.

"Sire, I must speak with you." It was very nearly a demand.

"I asked you not to disturb me," I yelled back.

"Sire, it is important. Extremely important."

"You disobey _me_? You disobey your _king_?"

"Yes, I do. You _know_ I would not do so if the situation wasn't serious." I put the ring on a table and grabbed my gloves before following Merlin out. He tried to tell me that Agravaine had given plans for the siege tunnels to Morgana, who had then given them to the leader of the Southrons. He didn't say _how_ he'd gotten this information, which strained his credibility. But he'd been right so many other times that I was willing to listen.

So now we were on our way to the scroll vault _again_. After I snagged a passing servant to fetch my uncle, I quickly marched past Merlin. I didn't really believe him and I wasn't done giving him a piece of my mind. "Your theory is _unbelievable_! I've known my uncle since I was young! I can't believe that he'd ever betray Camelot!"

When we got there, I walked right over to the cabinet with the siege tunnel map and unlocked it. "The siege tunnel plans are stored here." I opened the cabinet and felt around inside for a while. Merlin looked a bit smug while I got more irritated. Finally I _looked_ in and found it, way in the back. I pulled it out and opened it. Merlin was totally confused. Agravaine entered just then.

"I don't understand," Merlin said. I put the scroll back in the cabinet, then closed and locked it.

"I came the instant I could, my lord. Is there trouble?" Agravaine asked.

"No, Uncle, not a bit. I'm sorry I disturbed you," I told him.

"Can we please—" Merlin started.

I cut him off. I had _had_ it with him. "Another word from you and I swear to God I will _force_ you into exile." He really should know by now to _not_ interrupt my brooding. I didn't need distractions _now_. I went back to my chambers—so many things to ponder.

xxxXxxx

I didn't get much, if any, sleep last night. I gave up well before dawn and dressed myself- I really _can_ do it -down to chainmail. I picked up Guinevere's ring again and sat on the end of my bed. Again I turned it over and over in my hands, as if it could help me decide what to do.

I _didn't_ want to give up the alliance with Nemeth. They were small but strong. But I didn't want to, I _couldn't_, marry Mithian. The part of me that loved Guinevere, though buried, was strong. This entire time it had been screaming at me, but especially since I'd found this ring. I _should_ be able to silence that voice, and do what I needed to do, but I _couldn't_ anymore. If only there was a way to achieve what both parts of me wanted and _not_ hurt sweet Mithian or Nemeth in the process. But I just couldn't see one.

After it was light, I heard my door open and close. _Merlin_. I had been very awful to him lately, maybe because I knew he could take my misdirected anger and bounce back. I wonder how he'd behave this morning, considering I'd threatened him with exile _again_.

"Didn't you sleep, sire?" _Sire_. Formal—he was taking my threat seriously. That made me a bit sad. I didn't move or respond and he just stood there dutifully, arms folded in front of him. "Do you need anything?"

_Help, I need help_. But I was too used to not asking for it because it showed _vulnerability_. Royalty _can't_ be _vulnerable_. "How is it possible to love someone who's betrayed me? It doesn't seem right. And how can I force myself to love someone else? Tell me that," I asked.

He didn't seem inclined to answer. I couldn't blame him—I'd dismissed his opinions too often. "If you don't need anything else, maybe I could—"

I cut him off again, not because I was angry, but because I _really_ needed to know. "I don't know what to do. I have no clue . . . what to do." I've never felt so lost and uncertain about _anything_. He _still_ didn't reply, so I looked at him to make sure he was still there. "What should I do, Merlin?"

"All I know, my lord, is that nobody would sacrifice more for Camelot or you than Gwen." _Hmm?_

"And if that were true?" _I _really_ wanted it to be_.

"You have to do what your heart tells you, sire." _That's the hard part_.

"What if I don't know what that is?"

"I believe you do." There was the ghost of a smile on his face. I looked down at the ring again, still playing with it as I thought. "Is that all, sire?"

"You may go." He bowed and turned to walk off. "Thank you, Merlin." He'd said a lot without saying very much. And maybe he'd even forgive me.

Things started to clear and form up in my mind. While I liked and respected Mithian, I didn't _love_ her. Not like I'd loved- _still love_ -Guinevere. I couldn't go through with the engagement; my _heart_ wasn't in it. This would be a serious slight to Nemeth and I doubt they'd want to talk again anytime soon. But maybe there was something I could do to ease the sting. It was time to call the scribes and send a few messages.

xxxXxxx

After I'd talked to Mithian, she wanted to leave without delay. She refused to talk anymore and set about getting herself and her retinue ready to go. A couple hours later, her escort stood waiting in the square while the royal household once again stood on the steps. She walked right past me without saying a word. I couldn't blame her but I had to stop her.

"Princess." She stopped, but didn't turn around. "Forgive me."

She finally turned to face me. "The time for talk is done, sire." _Ouch_.

"I know. And because of that I now offer you and your descendents _all_ the contested lands of Gedref."

She shook her head in disbelief. "You would renounce your historic claims?"

"I do not want war. Or to distress you more than I have already."

"This kind of offer cannot be hurried into." _But I'm prepared_.

"My scribes have drawn up an agreement." I pulled out a scroll. "If you're pleased with the conditions, I'll sign immediately."

"And if I decline?" _Please__ don't_.

"This is all I can offer. I do so most humbly." I bowed my head and looked down, then back into her eyes. I held out the scroll and waited for her response. She considered me for an agonizingly long moment then took the scroll. _What a relief!_

"Tell me . . . who is it that outshines a princess?" _Well that was unexpected_.

"No one." _Hmm, not quite_. "And everyone." She looked a little brighter at this.

"What noble family is she from?"

"Not any. She's the daughter of a blacksmith."

She seemed a little puzzled. I could understand that. "But for her you would chance your kingship? Your _kingdom_?"

"Without her, they have no meaning for me."

She looked down to consider this. "Hm. I'd risk my own kingdom to be loved like that. Farewell, Arthur."

"Farewell, Princess." We exchanged small smiles, then she turned away to walk to her horse. I really hoped she would find someone worthy of her someday. She was priceless and deserved to be cherished.

xxxXxxx

That night before bed, I stood in front of my window. I wasn't looking at anything in particular, just thinking again. Behind me, Merlin prepared my bed for the night. A thought struck me out of nowhere and I turned to him. "Am I an idiot?" He looked up—I probably startled him. "To sacrifice so much for a woman who hurt me? A woman whom I may never see again?"

To his credit, he immediately followed my line of thinking. "You _will_ see her again. You made the right choice, my lord. Like I believed you would." _Truly?_

"How could you be so _certain_?"

"Because . . . you're _Arthur_. You're noble. You're the once and future king." _What did I do to deserve such faith?_

"Destined to be a _bachelor_." He chuckled at that. "What's the sense in loving somebody who can't be found?"

"Gwen _will_ be found. You _will_ find one another." _How can he be so sure?_

"Are you actually wise, Merlin, or only a babbling fool? I can't tell anymore." He took a couple steps and knocked over the chamber pot, then looked up at me again. "Like there was any doubt."

Just when I think there's more to him than meets the eye, he seems to go overboard to prove me wrong. But I desperately wanted to believe him. I wanted to find Guinevere and . . . I didn't know what would come next. But I believed it would work out somehow. It _had_ to.

* * *

**Just _The Sword in the Stone_ 1 & 2 left! And then S5. :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**My apologies for this _really_ long delay. RL knows how to get in the way, grr!**

**Mika271170- WOW! I totally didn't expect that. Thank you! :D**

* * *

Spring weather had finally arrived, several weeks late, but in time for Beltane. That would make _this_ feast particularly joyful, if only I could finish getting dressed for it. I stood behind my screen, staring into the mirror while Merlin was fiddling with something on the other side.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

"It's the Feast of Beltane, the king should appear kingly," he replied. Well _that_ was vague.

"I won't appear kingly in my undergarments, will I?"

"Have some patience. Imagine something amusing."

"You in the stocks?" Ha, _that_ was amusing.

"Hang on one second . . ." What _was_ he _doing_?

"One?" I counted impatiently and stepped out from behind the screen. Merlin spun around, hiding something behind his back.

Whatever he hid had _clinked_ like metal. "What's that behind your back?"

"Nothing. My hand." He showed his right hand, then hid it behind his back. "My other hand." He showed his left hand, then hid that one behind his back too. That's not suspicious _at all_.

I walked toward him and spun him around. He was holding my belt. I examined it—he'd been trying to poke a hole in it. "How come you're punching another hole in my belt?"

"I was, um . . . improving it for comfort and easier use." I could tell that wasn't exactly a lie, but it wasn't the truth either.

Wait_. Was he trying to spare my feelings?_ "Are you implying that I'm fat?"

"No! I'm implying that the . . . the belt is one hole short of excellence." I didn't believe that sheepish look of evasion.

"Preposterous." I snatched the belt from him and attempted to put it on over my chainmail. I squirmed and held my breath as I tried to latch it. "Come on." It just wouldn't close.

He gave me a sympathetic look and said, "Don't beat yourself up. A bit of spare padding goes with the job. Considering all those feasts and banquets and ceremonies." I hoped he wasn't trying to sound comforting, because he didn't. More like patronizing.

I gave up on the belt and handed it to him. "Okay, Merlin, do what you need to do. Don't tell anyone about this, understand?" _Or something unpleasant would happen_.

He smiled and picked up the dagger he'd evidently been using. "Have some faith; if I'm good at one thing, it's keeping secrets." _Why didn't I believe him?_

When I finally made it to the dining room, the feast was in full swing. I paused in the doorway to watch everyone for a moment. The only expected guest missing was my uncle. I walked over toward the head of the table, pausing to speak to Gaius. "Have you seen Agravaine?"

"Uh, no, sire. Not recently," he replied.

"Odd. He ought to be here by now," I mused. I took my place at the head of the table just before Merlin arrived with a heaping plate of food. "Ah! My favorite. Herb crusted capon."

"Slow down, we don't need another hole in that belt," Merlin commented. Behind him, Percival choked on his wine as he sniggered. _Maybe Merlin has air in his head after all_.

I forced out a fake laugh. "Ha-ha."

"Wine?" Merlin asked Gaius. The physician nodded and Merlin poured him a glass.

"Merlin," I got his attention and nodded for him to lean in. He stepped closer and I grabbed the front of his shirt. "It's good that you don't have anything of great consequence to keep secret, isn't it?" He had the grace to look intimidated at least. I let him go and his scarf flipped into his face. _Ha_. He wisely walked away after that.

A little later, he returned to top off my wine. I'd glanced over at Percival only to see him chatting up a lovely lady. I turned away after a moment, suddenly depressed. _My someone was missing_.

"You okay?" Merlin asked.

"No one enjoys being called fat, Merlin," I told him, trying to deflect his concern.

"Sorry," he said, but I was hardly paying attention. I looked around again, trying not to mope. But I absolutely didn't fool my perceptive servant. "It's Gwen, isn't it?"

"I glance around the room; but she's not there . . . then I remember why." He didn't reply. What could he say to that anyway? I continued looking around fruitlessly.

My brooding ended abruptly when the warning bell sounded. I stood up in confusion, as did many around me. That's when Gwaine entered. "Sire! We're being attacked! They're inside the city walls!"

I took off my cloak and turned toward my servant. "Merlin, move everybody into the inner chamber."

"Yes, sire. Everybody come with me!" He yelled to catch everyone's attention.

I jumped over the table and grabbed a sword. "Gwaine, defend the armory! Percival, on me!"

Other knights joined us as we crept quickly down the corridors. I could hear way too many screams outside. I led several knights through the citadel, pausing to fight the Southrons we encountered in the corridors. Eventually two attacked me at once. I took them down, but a third one behind me finished his knight and turned to me. He struck me in the ribs and I yelled out in pain. I somehow elbowed him in the face just as Merlin arrived from nowhere. The Southron went down; I clutched my side and ran down the corridor toward Merlin. He intercepted me and swung me around the corner. That action aggravated my injury, prompting me to yell in pain again.

"Been cowering in the broom cupboard as always, Merlin?" I asked him, trying to push the pain aside. It didn't work.

"We have to clear out of here!" he replied, and shoved me down another corridor. He turned back to the other corridor for a moment, then came back to push me into a run again.

He noticed me clutching my side. "Are you injured?"

"I'm okay." We stopped against a column leading outside. The sudden stop made me grunt in pain again. "Perhaps a busted rib or two." I finally admitted. I peeked around the corner and saw a big leader-type man walking with Morgana. They were at the head of the Southron army. _That must be Helios_. I continued to watch until my heart plunged in shock—my uncle walked up next to Morgana. I turned toward Merlin. "Agravaine," I said, and my shock was burned away by anger. I made to jump out to face the traitor, but Merlin grabbed me. I guess he didn't want me facing the entire Southron army alone.

He whispered his warning, "No! It's useless! Arthur! We can't fight that many. We can handle your uncle later. Okay?" I still really wanted to go after them, but his words had their desired effect. I calmed a little and he led me away with a "Go."

We ended up in the inner chamber. Gaius and a few other injured knights were there. The physician quickly confirmed my suspected injury. "I can wrap the ribcage, but you'd still risk puncturing a lung."

"Do whatever it takes, Gaius, I just need to be able to swing a sword," I told him. At that moment, Gwaine and Percival entered and immediately turned lean against the doors.

"What's our situation?" Gaius rushed over to ask them.

"The castle is swamped. We can't carry on much longer," Percival replied.

"How long until they get to us?"

"Mere minutes."

"We can't delay for Arthur. If they locate him, they'll kill him," Merlin told them.

"We have to move him to safety while we're able to," Percival agreed.

"Arthur wouldn't desert his people. He'd sooner die," Gwaine commented. _He's right about that_.

"Block off the doors. Provide us as much time as possible," Merlin said, then walked further away with Gaius. I couldn't hear them from where I was.

After their conversation, they both walked to me, Merlin behind and Gaius in front. I leaned back against the table. "I apologize, sire, this will hurt," the physician said.

"Just do it!" I gasped. It already hurt too much. Gaius pressed his hands onto my ribs. I couldn't restrain the resultant howl of pain. He'd been horribly horribly right.

Suddenly everything went weird. I could still hear and feel everything, but it didn't seem to matter much anymore. I sat up just as Gwaine and Percival ran over. _Oh, my knight buddies!_ "We have to go now, sire!" A familiar voice said behind me. It was Merlin, _of course_, my bestest buddy ever!

That sounded like a reasonable idea. "Certainly," I said, and stood up. The world seemed a bit wobbly, but my buddies would help me. They looked at each other kind of funny, but they would still help.

"So let's go," Percival said, and threw my arm around his neck to help me out. "We'll use the back gate." Merlin grabbed my stuff. Gwaine stopped me 'n' Percival and offered his hand to the big guy.

"I'll protect your back as long as I'm able," Gwaine said. Percy looked surprised but grabbed Gwaine's arm. After that, Percy pulled me through the castle and outside. _Hey, Merlin caught up with us!_ We stopped for a moment.

"Thank you, Percival," I told him.

"Can you walk without help?" Merlin asked. _Well yeah!_

"Sure. Just show me the right way," I replied.

I heard footsteps approaching. "Shh!" Percy said. He reached behind him and grabbed – "Elyan."

_Yay, Elyan!_ "Don't hold back just for me," Elyan said. They smiled at each other. _Friends!_

"Is the road out of Camelot free?" Percy asked him.

"As far as I know," Elyan replied. They started off, but I stopped to watch the pretty fire burn Camelot.

"Let's go, Arthur," Merlin said. _Aw, he waited for me!_ I turned around to look at him. He nodded and I followed him. He's pretty smart.

We ran a bit to catch up with Elyan 'n' Percy. They grabbed me and helped me run faster. _They are so_ _nice_! And smart.

"They'll follow us. They know Arthur lives," Percy said. _Hey, I'm right here!_

"Then we need to cross the border and seek refuge anyplace we can," Elyan replied.

"I know a place. Ealdor. It's past the White Mountains," Merlin said. Then he stopped and said, "Stop!" The rest of us stopped while Merlin listened. "Listen," he told them. Then we all heard hoof beats. _Uh oh_?

"Run!" Percy yelled. _Horses are bad?_ But we started running again. Maybe the people _on_ the horses were bad?

Suddenly it felt like we were all pushed forward into the leaves. _OW!_ Merlin and Elyan helped me get up and we kept running. There were some people wearing black following us. _Why are they chasing us?_

"Where's Percival?" Merlin asked. We turned to look, but I didn't see him. _Oh no, Percy!_

"We need to go!" Elyan said. We got to a rock trench and Elyan stopped. "_Go!_" he yelled and pushed me past him. I kept running and hoped the bad guys wouldn't get him.

Merlin came up behind me. He made sure I was okay and ran a little past me. We got out of the rocks and into a place with trees and lots of plants. I bumped into him then, 'cause I didn't see him stop. "Sorry! My mistake," I told him. He looked surprised by what I said.

"Okay, I believe we're safe for the moment. But we have to find you a disguise. You're too noticeable in that attire," he said.

I looked down at my clothes; I thought they were quite nice. But he _was_ the smart one here. "All right, whatever you think. I'm completely in your hands." He seemed surprised again, but we kept walking.

After a little while, we found a hut. It looked nice, with some drying laundry and a cheery little fire.  
Merlin scrunched down to look, so I scrunched down behind him. "Good," he said. Yep, it _was_ very nice. I nodded in agreement while he tried to get up. It was hard 'cause I was squeezed in next to him.

But he got some of the clothes for me to change into and waited for me. These clothes weren't as nice as the ones I took off, but he knew best. I guess I was taking too long because he said, "At your own pace, of course."

"Argh. Sorry, Merlin. A few of these things are a bit on the snug side," I told him.

"Beggars can't be choosers, sire."

"You're right. I should learn to think before I speak, shouldn't I?" _I don't think I was very good at that_.

"It's a good idea."

"Argh. I'm finished." I walked out from behind the wall so he could look me over. The trousers reached to just below my knees, the sleeves barely reached past my elbows, and the shirt showed a large part of my tummy. Merlin closed his eyes and laughed. I didn't understand why he did that. _He_ gave me these clothes.

"Oh, Arthur, what can I say? You look like a complete turnip head." _He didn't like what I was wearing?_

"Maybe I should wear something else? There—there are loads more here." I started to go behind the wall again.

"No. No. That—that will work totally fine. But, perhaps I'll hold that." I guess I looked okay then, but he came up and snatched my money pouch. _Rude!_

"My gooold."

"Probably safer with me."

_Oh yes, he's the smart one_. "Certainly." He smiled a little bit, then gave me a strange look. I don't know why he kept doing that, but oh well. _He_ knows what he's doing. Soon we were off walking in the woods again.

After a while, Merlin halted. He didn't say why, but just said, "Stop." He listened, then turned to me and spoke slowly. I wasn't _that_ dumb. "Wait here." I nodded to show him I understood and he headed off. I went in the other direction; I think we're playing a game. I saw some people loading a wagon with stuff and a pretty lady stuck a sword to Merlin's back. _Ouchie_.

"Hello," she said to him and smiled. I guess _she_ won the game if she's happy like that. She brought us to a man who was sharpening a knife. He looked okay. "I found them skulking in the forest."

"See anything of interest?" the man asked.

"No," Merlin said, but then the man threw his knife at us! We had to duck and the knife went into the tree behind Merlin's head. That man is _mean_!

"You should mind where you stick your beak, boy," the man said.

"I didn't notice anything, I swear. We were only traveling through," Merlin explained.

"They've no horses, no provisions, nothing," the pretty lady told the mean man.

"Enjoy traveling light, do you?" the man asked.

"That's about right," Merlin said. _He's clever_.

"So where're you going?" the man asked. _He's kind of nosy_.

I don't think Merlin likes him either. "North, across the border."

"Lot's kingdom. He doesn't tolerate outsiders, you know. Enjoys decorating his castle with their heads." The man walked over to Merlin like he was going to hurt him.

"So how come _you're_ going there?" Merlin asked.

"I have good incentive," the man said.

"Sure," Merlin said. The man gave Merlin a mean look.

_Merlin needs backup!_ "I agree with _him_," I said.

"What's wrong with your sidekick?" the man asked. _Was there something wrong with me?_

"He's a simpleton. He's just that way," Merlin said.

"So you look after him huh?" the man said. Yep, Merlin's the best looker-after person _ever_.

"He wouldn't last long without me," Merlin told him. I nodded 'cause that's so true.

The man gave us a weird look, then looked back at his wagon. "All right, I guess you can go then." He got his knife out of the tree.

Then Merlin had a _brilliant_ idea. He followed the mean man and asked, "Couldn't we travel with you? I mean, I—I would be thankful for the company, if truth be told." I followed him.

I leaned forward to say, "I'm quite irritating." I had a lot of bad habits.

The man made a funny noise but said, "I'm sorry."

"Please?" Merlin said.

"Don't try me, boy. Be glad I let you go with your lives," the man replied. Wow, that was _really_ mean!

"I can pay you," Merlin said. The man and lady stopped and looked at him. "With gold."

The man and the pretty lady looked at each other. "Of course. Why didn't you mention that before?" He smiled; _was he happy now?_ I smiled back. Maybe he was done being mean. Merlin looked at me with a serious face. Oh, _not_ the time to be happy. I rearranged my face to be serious too.

I got to ride in the wagon with all the camp stuff and some of the other people. They were okay, but gave me funny looks. Merlin had to walk, but he didn't mind that. After a while, it got close to dark and the mean man said, "We'll camp here!" The pretty lady smiled when the man helped her down from the wagon. _I think he likes her_.

"Why, thank you," she said.

"Not at all," he told her. _Ooh, he does like her_.

Merlin wouldn't let _me_ out until I helped get the stuff out of the wagon. He helped the people make camp. _He's nice like that_. I found a really nice-looking tree and decided to give it a hug. I saw the mean man and the pretty lady talking to Merlin. _Maybe they wanted to be friends now?_

The man walked over by me and I heard him say, "We're too swift and too clever for the nitwit king in Camelot." _Well that was mean!_ I thought I'd heard the tree talking, so I rapped it with my knuckles and pressed my ear against the trunk. I was still trying to hear it when Merlin came back. He said it was time to make dinner.

We found our own spot and made a nice, cozy fire. While we cooked, he told me the mean man's name was Tristan and the pretty lady's name was Isolde. Those were nice names, I guess.

It was dark when we finished cooking the soup. The soup was pretty yummy, just like all the stuff Merlin makes. _He really knows a lot of stuff!_ I'm glad he's taking care of me, 'cause I don't know very much. We talked about things while we ate, but mostly just ate. When I finished I just sat there. I wanted more but didn't know what to say. I didn't want to be mean.

"More soup?" Merlin asked while I was thinking all that.

"Yes, please," I told him. He scooped more soup into my bowl. "Thank you." I lifted the bowl to drink it.

"A please and a thank you at the same time? That's incredible," Merlin commented. _He was surprised?_

"Is it?"

He nodded. "Mm. I suppose manners are not your strength."

"Honestly?" He nodded again. _I disappoint him?_ "How so?"

"Impolite. Selfish. Inconsiderate. And that's when you're in _good_ humor." _I was really like that?_

"Sorry about that."

"I'm not sure you appreciate how hard I work for you. I realize you're the king, but it'd be great if you could do one little thing for yourself as an, um . . . gesture. Token of respect."

_I don't give him any respect? I must be awful._ "I'm sorry I've been a disappointment, Merlin. I'll make a better effort in future."

"Oh, I eagerly anticipate that." That seemed a _little_ mean. "Then again, why wait?" He dropped his soup bowl on top of mine. "The pot needs rinsing out also."

_I could make it up to him now?_ "No problem."

"And when you've finished that, the horses want a rubdown, too." _Ooh good idea_.

"Of course." I stood and picked up the stewpot. _Now where do I go?_

Merlin helped me. "Over there." He pointed into the dark bushes. I walked that way and tripped on a bush. I fell and dropped the dishes with a clatter. _Oh no!_ "You okay?" Merlin's voice floated out to me.

"Yeah." I got up and picked up the dishes. Then I saw the stream and went to wash the dishes. I brought them back to Merlin and he reminded me about the horses. After I rubbed down the horses and came back, he was asleep. So I lay down, not _too_ close to him, and went to sleep myself.

xxxXxxx

When I woke up, I had no clue where I was, besides a forest. There were strange people asleep all around and Merlin wasn't near me. And I was wearing the oddest rubbish clothes; they were too small and too tight. I wanted to yell for Merlin but thought it best not to, since I didn't know if these people were friendly or not. I stood up and looked around, finally spotting Merlin wrapped in a blanket and sleeping against a tree.

I walked over to Merlin and gave him a few small kicks to wake him. I spoke quietly, but furiously, "You better give me a damn good reason for this, Merlin." He just stared at me. "Okay. I'll just keep kicking you." I continued kicking until he stood up.

"Arthur," he said, sounding surprised. Then he looked into my face rather closely. "You're back."

"Why did you say 'I'm back?' You're not making sense." I tried to walk away but he stopped me.

"Please listen to me. Camelot has fallen. You were wounded in the attack and knocked out. I had to get us away from there." As he spoke I started to remember, and what I remembered stunned me.

"All right. So where are we?"

"We're going north to a safe place, to Ealdor. I expect the knights will join us there."

I looked around the camp. "Who are our new friends?"

"They're, uh . . . smugglers."

"Smugglers?!" I was so incensed I couldn't help but yell.

"Shhh!"

I lowered my voice again. "Okay, let's imagine, for a minute, you know what you're doing. That doesn't tell me why I look like a total moron." It looked like I'd woken the others anyway.

"It's a great disguise. Nobody would ever expect you to be, you know . . . who you are."

"Too bad, Merlin. I don't want to be seen like this."

"You must. You have to stay in character."

"_Character_? What character?" What had he gotten me into _now_?

"You," a man said. _Tristan?_ Merlin turned around. "We'll go once the horses are watered. Spell it out for the simpleton, would you?" I stared at Merlin, who smiled sheepishly. He tried to carry my sword to the wagon, but I took it back. Tristan and Isolde looked up at us. "Simpleton," he said.

"He's speaking to you," Merlin mumbled quietly.

"I don't respond to that name," I muttered back.

"In character, remember?" he got out before Tristan got to us. He looked down at the sword.

"Remarkable piece," he commented.

"Thank you, sir," I said in a funny voice.

"Could I?" he asked, and I let him take the sword. He examined the blade closely. "Outstanding. The one place you find a sword of this quality is the royal forge of Camelot." He rapidly repositioned the sword to my throat. "So, how did you acquire it?"

I was stumped but Merlin had something. "I won it in a card game. Offered it to him as a gift. He can't be apart from it. Helps him feel safe." Tristan narrowed his eyes suspiciously at us. I looked at Merlin and nodded stupidly. Tristan handed the sword back to me.

"I trust that's true, for your sake," Tristan replied, still suspicious. I took the sword like I didn't know how to hold it. "I don't want to think I'm traveling with a knight of Camelot." I hugged the sword to my chest.

"Aye," I said in my funny voice and cradled the sword to my shoulder.

Isolde giggled. "Knight of Camelot? Look at him." Merlin hesitantly chuckled with her. I pretended not to know how to slide the sword into my belt.

Tristan joined in their laughter. "That's true. Their knights may be thick, but they're not that thick." I put on a big smile and chuckled with the rest of them. Merlin tussled my hair. _Oh, he was pushing it_.

"Gather your stuff, simpleton!" _Over the line_.

I grabbed Merlin's arm, still smiling hugely. "Say that again and I'll end your life."

He dropped _his_ smile. "Don't fret, sire, I'm certain you won't have to carry on for much longer."

"_How long?!_" I demanded. There was a loud whistle and the man walking past us went down with an arrow in the neck. I turned Merlin around with me to see Southrons charging the camp. Another arrow struck the tree next to my head and we ran to take cover behind the wagon. Tristan and Isolde were there; I laid down my sword and took charge. "Move to those trees, we'll protect you." They exchanged a confused look and turned it on me. _No time for this!_ "Do you want to live?" Tristan made to question me, but Isolde grabbed his arm and they ran off. Merlin and I found and fired crossbows at the Southrons through the wagon. He tossed me another bolt and reloaded his own crossbow.

"Now what?" he yelled.

"Now _we'll_ go."

"Who'll protect us?"

"Don't be a simpleton, Merlin." We took aim and hit another two Southrons, but more kept coming. We chucked the crossbows and I grabbed the sword from the wagon. We ran off and took cover behind a fallen tree with Tristan and Isolde. Together we watched Agravaine direct the Southrons.

"They haven't discovered the cargo," Isolde said.

"They will. But they don't want the cargo. They want _you_." Tristan looked at me. "Who the hell _are_ you?"

"My name is Arthur Pendragon," I stated.

I heard him inhale in shock and exclaim, "The king of Camelot!"

"I used to be."

"Everything I've worked for is gone because of some good-for-nothing king!"

I turned to face him. "That's really something when spoken by a smuggler."

"But I wouldn't have to _be_ one if it wasn't for your damn taxes, would I?!"

"Those taxes are used to protect the people of this kingdom."

"My people are dying. You think that's protection?"

Merlin spoke up, "Pardon me for interrupting, but . . ." He directed our attention to the Southrons charging us from behind. Tristan and I jumped up simultaneously and fought the Southrons side by side. Isolde took on a couple of her own. One elbowed her in the head, slashed her sword arm and kicked her to the ground. Her attacker poised for the final blow, but took so long I had time to run him through the back.

Tristan ran to her side to hold her. Merlin and I just watched. We've lived this. Tristan whispered, "Isolde. We had an agreement. Partners for life, remember?"

"When haven't I honored my promises?" She replied; he kissed her forehead.

"We have to get going. More will come soon," I told them.

"Then go. Nothing's preventing you," Tristan spat. I rolled my eyes.

Merlin was more diplomatic. "Come with us to Ealdor. You'll be safe there."

"I'm particular about those I associate with," he replied.

"He saved my life, Tristan," Isolde told him. To me she said, "Thank you."

"None of this would've come about if it wasn't for them." _Stubborn man_. Isolde sighed as if she knew this well.

"She's hurt. She must have rest and shelter," I tried to reason with him.

He sighed, looked at me, then back at Isolde. She nodded. "All right. But understand this, Arthur Pendragon, I do this for her. You and your sort cause nothing but suffering in this land." I couldn't begrudge his anger, but it was misplaced.

We walked for a while, stopping at an unassuming stream. "This signifies the border between Camelot and Lot's kingdom," I told the other three.

"Ealdor sits at the other side of that valley. Perhaps half a day's walk," Merlin added.

"We'll stay here for the night. There's no chance Agravaine followed us through those mountains," I said. It was near sunset and Isolde needed rest.

"I'll build a fire; we should keep Isolde warm," Merlin volunteered. Tristan let her go as Merlin put her arm around his neck and helped her to a comfy spot on the ground.

I held out a water flask to Tristan. "Here, you should drink this."

Tristan walked away. "I'll find my own." I couldn't blame him for the cold shoulder, but it still stung.

I killed a couple of rabbits for dinner, but it wasn't much. When we finished, Tristan propped himself against a tree trunk and took Isolde into his arms. They fell asleep like that; it made my heart ache. Merlin and I sat by the fire, pondering our own thoughts.

I broke the silence. "You knew. You knew Agravaine was deceiving me."

"I wasn't certain. But then, I did have my doubts," he said. But I had to wonder if he really _had_ known, and how long.

I shook my head. "Why am I such a fool? I placed so much trust in him. The whole time I was blind to his duplicity as I was to Morgana's."

"You were lied to, Arthur. That could befall anyone." He just kept trying to prop me up.

I'm not sure I deserved his, or anyone's, support. "But it continues to happen to me. I held these people dear. I . . . don't get it. Did I do something wrong? Why do they hate me?"

"No, they don't hate you. They simply . . . want your power for themselves." _I'd rather believe that_.

"Maybe. Would they still want it if I was the king my people deserve? Perhaps Tristan's right—"

He jumped in so fast he cut me off. "Tristan was upset and . . ." He broke off and looked over at them. ". . . scared. He had to blame someone, but _you're_ not to blame." He looked back over at Tristan and shook his head.

"You seem quite certain about all this." I was amazed; he must have put a lot of thought into this.

"What I know is that, in spite of your various flaws, you're truthful and courageous and steadfast, and one day you'll be the noblest king this land has ever seen."

His confidence made me smile. "So . . . it's great to know I have the backing of my servant at least."

"Others agree. Trust me." Again I had to wonder—why did he put such faith in _me_?

xxxXxxx

The four of us didn't talk much in the morning; there wasn't much of a reason. We didn't have food or anything to pack, so we just walked the direction Merlin pointed us in. It took just a little longer than half a day, since Isolde's injury held her back. The rest of us took turns supporting her, but it was mostly Tristan.

I didn't remember the village well, but I did remember Merlin's mother. When Hunith caught sight of her son, she ran to hug him. They both had huge smiles on their faces. He greeted her with, "Mother."

"Welcome home, Merlin," she replied. Merlin introduced Tristan and Isolde to her. She took us in without a word and led us inside her small house. That was why I liked her so much—she accepted others without reservation or judgment. Obviously Merlin had learned that from her.

Once inside, Hunith found water for washing and medical supplies for Isolde. She fed us while Merlin treated Isolde. The injured woman ate a little and went to sleep.

"I cleansed the wound. There's no indication of infection. As long as she gets enough rest, she'll be all right," Merlin told us.

"Thank you, Merlin, for all your help," Tristan said. Merlin nodded and left.

I wanted to make peace with Tristan. "I'm sorry I caused this . . . hardship for you."

He thought about that for a moment. "I probably lost my cargo, but I still have my precious Isolde." _His heart's in the right place_.

"Then you're wealthier than you know."

For a moment, it looked as if he wanted to reply. Instead he glanced back over to his love. He's a lot richer than I am right now. I don't have anyone to call my own.

After a while, I got up to go to the house Hunith had arranged for the rest of us to sleep in. I didn't feel tired; mostly I wanted to escape the bittersweet scene in front of me. I took off my shirt and laid down on one of the beds, intending to think. But I must have fallen asleep because an unknown touch woke me. I lifted my head to see and recognized, "Guinevere."

She smiled sadly. "Hello, Arthur."

I moved up to rest on my elbows, not taking my eyes off her. "What are you doing here?"

She shrugged and shook her head. "It's as good a home as any." I couldn't look away from her. "I've missed you."

"And I you."

She gave me a bittersweet smile; I knew that feeling very well. I sat up slowly and gradually held out my arm to embrace her. She hesitated at first, then leaned forward to throw both her arms around me. We both sighed softly and pulled each other a little closer. I pressed my face to the side of her head, right into her hair. Her scent soothed me and her touch warmed me. We remained that way for a few minutes—until screams from outside startled us back into awareness.

We broke apart just before Merlin stumbled in to tell us about Agravaine and the Southrons surrounding the village. I hurriedly dressed as he ran back out and returned with Tristan and Isolde. Guinevere had put on her fur vest and extinguished the candles. We watched through the door as my uncle and his thugs harassed the villagers.

"Any ideas?" Tristan asked.

"Go out the back," Merlin supplied. He stayed there while the rest of us snuck through the back door and outside. I presumed he'd cause a diversion of some kind so we could get away cleanly.

Once outside, we ran without looking back. I paused to wait for Merlin and saw Agravaine look up to see us escaping. _Damn!_ "There! Capture them!" my traitor uncle yelled.

We ran as quickly as we could to the shelter of the woods, but Tristan and Isolde were forced to lag behind. I paused to look back and saw the torches of the pursuing Southrons. I didn't know exactly where we were going, although Merlin had mentioned tunnels. I just kept running.

* * *

**Second half coming within a couple of days! :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Aaaaaaaad here's Part 2 of The Sword in the Stone. That wraps up S4! I'll be back soon with 5.1.**

**Mika271170- Thank you! I was pretty nervous about working simpleton!Arthur, then I used my kids to work from LOL!**

* * *

I looked up after a while and saw the mouth of a cave. I waited a few moments for everyone to catch up. We could hide in there, sure, but wouldn't they figure it out and come find us?

Merlin interrupted my thinking. "I'll hide our trail, you get going!"

I thought that was kind of dumb—what did he know about covering tracks? But he turned away and ran back the way we'd come. After a moment, I turned and headed into the cave after the others.

We waited for him just inside the entrance. He finally ran in, out of breath and holding a torch. "Have you lost them?" I asked.

"We're safe," he replied. That didn't really answer the question.

"You certain?"

He walked past us. "Do I look stupid to you?"

_Oh, he did _not_ just say that. Perfect opening_. "Yes."

"Doesn't change, does it?" _Nope_.

I came up behind him. "Now which way?" He looked around uncertainly. I looked at _him_ uncertainly. "Didn't you say you grew up in these tunnels?"

"I did. But—it might be that way." He indicated just to the left of us.

"Or it might be _that_ way." I indicated just to the right of us.

"Yes."

I rolled my eyes. "That's _really_ encouraging."

The two of us stayed at the head of our group, leading them through the tunnels. That, and the excellent acoustics, meant I could hear every_thing_ every_one_ said.

"So you know Arthur?" Tristan asked.

Guinevere replied. "I used to be a servant in Camelot."

"To Arthur?"

"No."

"So why are you helping?"

"He's my king."

"I haven't discovered many regal traits so far." _That. Was. Annoying_. I rolled my eyes.

"Perhaps you don't know him." Guinevere defended me. _Wait. Guinevere defended me?_ That lightened my heart somewhat but not nearly enough. I walked a bit further ahead.

A little while later, I'd let everyone ahead of me. I heard something behind us and we all stopped simultaneously to turn and look. "You told me we'd lost them," I said.

"I thought we had," Merlin replied.

"They'll catch up before too long," Tristan, eternal optimist, replied.

"I'll go back," Merlin decided. He started walking past the others.

"What will you do?" I asked.

"Invent a diversion." I stopped him.

"It's too dangerous."

"I know these tunnels; Agravaine doesn't. You go on." He handed me his torch and made to leave.

I stopped him. "Merlin . . . don't do something foolish."

He flashed me his goofy, devil-may-care look. "Me?"

I watched him leave, hesitant to leave him behind. I may not ever tell him or even show it, but I did care what happened to him. He never seemed to give up on me and I needed that. I heard the others behind me start walking again. After another moment, I turned and followed them.

I worked my way up to the front again, trying to subdue my concern and anxiety. It didn't work. After a few minutes I slowed to a stop and turned around. I'd sensed something.

"What are you doing?" Tristan, right behind me, asked.

"Shh!" I listened and we heard rocks moving. I looked up at Tristan. "Merlin."

"He knows the tunnels. He'll come back."

"I'm turning back." I walked past the other three, heading back the way we'd come.

"For a servant?" I heard Tristan ask.

"You're wrong about him," Guinevere replied. _I seemed to have another tireless defender._

The further I walked, the closer the sounds got. I saw a bit of light around a corner and a shadow cross it. I prepared to attack the approaching figure, but stopped when I saw— "Merlin!" I straightened out of my defensive posture. He looked tired. "What took you so long?"

"You were concerned about me?" he asked.

_Oh no, I'd sounded too worried_. "No. I was checking to make sure we weren't being chased."

He tilted his head to examine me. "You turned back to find me."

_Oh fine_. "Okay, you're right. I turned back because you're the one friend I have and I couldn't stand to lose you."

"Oh yeah?" He started to smile.

I turned around—I had to leave before he got the right idea. "Don't be absurd."

We quickly caught up to the others and continued through the tunnel. Merlin was surer about the way now. When we finally walked out of the mountain, it was after daybreak. I was surprised we'd been in there that long.

"So, now where?" Tristan asked.

"To the plains past the mountains," I told him.

"You certain? That's Lot's territory. He's no ally of the Pendragons," was his comeback.

"So perhaps we could stay somewhere close. A place where we could rest," Guinevere added.

"We're outcasts and dangerous to whoever protects us." Tristan again.

"He's right. We need to go back toward Camelot," Merlin suggested. _Everyone has an opinion_.

"No, we must keep moving," I reiterated. _Who's in charge here anyway?_

"If we take cover in the Forest of Ascetir, we'll be safe—at least for a time." Merlin again.

"No." I disagreed.

"If anybody survived the attack, they'll be hiding there." Merlin had a point.

"I know what I'd do. You're the king, Arthur, our ruler . . ." Was Tristan _trying_ to irritate me?

"Fine. Forest of Ascetir it is," I decided. Everyone headed down the path ahead of me.

We doubled back, going _around_ the mountain this time. It took us most of the day to get back there. I wasn't sure how I felt about being back in Camelot. What was I supposed to do _now_? Guinevere and Merlin were setting up a campfire, so for the immediate future, I decided to gather firewood.

Tristan had already started. "Well, hey, look at you. First you turn back to save your servant, now you're working like a slave. And why shouldn't you? You're exactly like everybody else. There isn't anything special about you, is there?" _Ouch_.

I couldn't show him how far my self-esteem had sunk though. "Okay, perhaps you're right. Perhaps I'm not worthy to be king."

"Yeah, that's fine, 'cause you're not. Not anymore."

He strutted off while I tried to accept that fact. I hadn't really thought of the situation that way. I walked away, up the hill bordering our campsite. I tossed the wood aside as I heard footsteps behind me. It was one of two people and I knew which.

"Arthur?" Yep, I was right, but I kept walking. Guinevere jogged up to me anyway and touched my arm. "Arthur . . ."

I stopped and turned around. "Don't." I sounded harsher than I meant to be; she pulled back. "What happened in Ealdor was a momentary lapse." She flinched. That hurt me too. "Your actions . . . all I treasured between us, all we shared, it's in the past. That won't change." Years of controlling my expression helped me look calm. I was anything _but_ calm.

She looked devastated. "I'm so sorry." As she turned to walk back to the campfire, I saw her fighting tears. _I did that to her. Again_. But I couldn't let myself give into those feelings. It still hurt too much.

I decided to hunt us some supper while I was wandering. The pickings here were a little better; three rabbits this time. Probably Merlin could scare up a few herbs for seasoning. Normally the thought of food would perk me up, but I didn't feel any perkier.

After we ate, I lounged against a tree by the fire. I crossed my arms, and settled into my new favorite activity—brooding.

Of course Merlin had to interrupt, _again_. "Go on, I'll stand watch." He sat down against the tree next to me. I didn't dignify him with a response. "Arthur, what's wrong? Don't believe Tristan, he doesn't know you."

I looked over at him. "I believed in the wrong people."

He shook his head. "_They_ betrayed _you_. You're not to blame." _Unless there was _something_ about me_.

"No. I was an idiot. I misjudged everybody . . . Agravaine . . . Morgana. Every decision I've made has been incorrect." _I'm a terrible judge of character; I trust the wrong people_.

"You're being too rough on yourself." _Was I?_

"I ought to be more perceptive, wise . . . a statesman, a sovereign. Tristan's correct; there isn't anything special about me. I'm exactly like everybody else." _No standout qualities_.

"You aren't. You're an excellent king." To say he disagreed would be an understatement.

"I'm decent with a sword. That's it." _The sum total of my skills_.

"Your people love you." _What people?_

"Nearly all of them are dead. Thanks to me." _And my ignorance_.

"No, nearly all of them fled. They're here in the forest, I'm certain of that." How did _he_ know?

"Sure. If they are, they'll need to find themselves another king." I was done with this pep talk. I got up and walked away.

"Arthur . . . Arthur!" He sounded like a frustrated parent. I walked to the other side of the fire and laid down with my back to it. I hoped I projected a "do not disturb" aura. I wouldn't react well to being disturbed.

xxxXxxx

I felt a familiar presence shaking me awake in the morning. _Uhhhh_. "What?" I asked, startled.

"I need to show you something," Merlin said, and walked off.

I hurriedly grabbed my sword and followed. "This had better be worthwhile because this isn't really the moment for one of your silly games."

He followed no discernible path _I_ could see. "I was thinking about last night and how you said you'd given up all hope, how you were a weak leader and a shoddy king." _Huh?_

"'Shoddy?'"

"Okay, 'shabby,'" he amended.

_Not any better_. He gets a sarcastic: "Thanks."

"I was reminded of a story Gaius told me once." _Oh no_.

"Merlin, I'm genuinely not interested in your most-loved bedtime tales."

He stopped and turned to face me. "Just once in your life, simply . . . listen." I held my hands up in surrender. He started walking again. "Several years ago, before the beginning of the five kingdoms, this land was in a continual round of killing and conflict, but one man was determined to stop all that. He brought together the leaders of each tribe and drafted plans for the land to be divided. Each would acknowledge the others' borders, and ruled over their land as they felt right. That man was Camelot's first king, ancestor to all who came after, including you, Arthur."

_He woke me for _this_?_ "Bruta."

"You're familiar with the story."

Well, _yeah_. "_Yes_, all children in Camelot are. Can I return to bed now?"

"No. See, there's one more piece of the story that you haven't been told." He looked back at me.

I didn't believe him in the slightest. "_Seriously?_"

"When Bruta was on his deathbed, he asked to be carried deep into the woods. There, with his remaining strength, he drove his sword into a rock. If his ancestry was ever in doubt, this would create a trial. None but a true king of Camelot could draw the weapon out."

I stopped where I was. _This is utter nonsense_. "Are you making this up?"

He made a face like he was deeply insulted. "Certainly not." He continued walking.

I couldn't tell if he was lying or not, but I followed him. "Okay. If it's real, why haven't I heard this part?"

"History isn't actually your strength, is it?" I wanted to roll my eyes.

"So where is this rock?" _If_ it exists.

"Oh, it was lost several years before in the Great Purge, but . . . I've found it." _Really_.

This was getting farfetched, even for _him_. "I've never been told this much nonsense in my whole life."

He stopped again. "You're saying Gaius is a liar?"

"_No_, I'm saying _you're_ an idiot."

"So what's that?" I followed his line of sight and was immediately stunned. Ahead of us stood a sword embedded in a stone. _HUH?!_ Merlin walked closer and I hurried to catch up. I heard footsteps and was surprised to see a crowd of knights and commoners appear out of the forest, Leon and Percival among them. I glanced back at Merlin to see him smiling proudly.

I turned to him. "What the hell are you getting at?"

"I'm confirming that you are their leader and their king." He was _so_ sure.

_It looked impossible_. "That sword is wedged tightly in solid stone."

"And you will draw it out."

_No. No way_. "Merlin, it's not possible."

"Arthur, you're the true king of Camelot." I don't know if I've ever seen him so _serious_.

I glanced back at the crowd of people in the clearing. "Do you want me to look like a fool?" _Helluva time for performance anxiety_.

"No, I'm trying to get you to see that Tristan's wrong; you're not just anybody, you _are_ special. You and only you can pull out that sword." _He had such faith in me—was I worth it?_

I thought for a moment, then drew my sword and stuck it in the ground. "You'd better be right." I walked slowly toward the stone and looked up at the crowd hesitantly. I placed both hands on the hilt and attempted to pull it up. It didn't budge.

Merlin spoke from behind me. "You need to believe, Arthur." I kept pulling even after I started shaking with effort. But it still didn't move. "You're fated to be Albion's most noble king." I let go of the sword and just stared at it. "Nothing, not even this stone can keep you from this." I took a deep breath then placed one hand on the hilt and closed my eyes. "Have faith."

I lifted my chin and willed myself to believe. My best friend believed in me, my _former_ love believed in me and all these people are here _because_ of me. Not for a show or a pretty sword. There was no other reason. I felt all that faith in me and suddenly the stone released the sword. I opened my eyes as it slid out. When it was clear, I lifted it skyward and stared at it glinting in the sun, totally amazed.

The people were equally in awe. When Leon proclaimed "Long live the king!" they joined without hesitation:

"Long live the king! Long live the king! Long live the king! Long live the king! Long live the king!"

He was telling the truth, after all.

xxxXxxx

I noticed Guinevere had made it to us. She came toward me at the same time as Leon and Percival. They wanted to know their orders, of course. I walked with them and Merlin to where they and the other refugees were camping. They'd made good use of time while we'd been strolling around Essetir. I assumed they'd been spying on Camelot, and I wanted to know the conditions there.

"How about the drawbridge?" I asked.

"Well manned," Leon answered.

"As are the northern gates," Percival added.

"The southern battlements?"

"Arthur, even if we make it inside, she has an army," Percival warned.

"And we have what? A few hundred?" I looked around.

"And they greatly outnumber us." _Practical Percival_.

I felt more like myself with every passing moment. "Yeah, but just three to one." Leon chuckled.

"Do you believe they'll fight?" Isolde asked.

"Yes, they'll fight for Arthur," Leon replied.

I disagreed. "It isn't me they need to fight for. It's for Camelot." _I'm just an imperfect man_.

"No, Arthur. It's _you_ that people love, and _you_ that they will sacrifice their lives for. I know that I would walk into the mouth of hell for you." _Oh Leon_.

"And I." _Percival_. Isolde glanced at Tristan, who looked surprised.

"And I." _Merlin. Of course_. Tristan appeared impressed by the loyalty of my men. After the last few days, I was just surprised they _were_ loyal.

I drew my new sword. _I'd have to ask Merlin if it had a name_. "Into the mouth of hell it is." I turned to continue walking; my men followed.

We settled down with a group of knights, guards and assorted regulars. A plan was suggested and modified. Tasks were divided up. I gave a short motivational speech and thanked everyone for their loyalty. Soon everything was set and we separated again to organize manpower and supplies. By that time night had fallen and stomachs were rumbling.

I walked by Isolde, who was treating her arm, and Guinevere. She looked like she wanted to tell me something, but didn't speak. Tristan walked by with a bouquet of flowers. _For his lady_. But I couldn't think about that. Guinevere was so near, yet so far.

I kept wandering slowly, not having any aim beyond making sure my people were all right. Then Merlin jogged up to me. "You okay?"

"Yes," I told him, with some degree of confidence.

"Do you believe there are more than we can handle?"

"Southrons are men like us. Men we can fight. But Morgana . . ." I shook my head at the thought of her. "Her magic is so strong and we've nothing to counter it with."

"I didn't finish Gaius's story." _Not again_.

"Later, Merlin, please."

"Will you simply listen?" He took up his stubborn posture and I bowed my head to acquiesce. "When the sword was driven into the stone, the ancient king prophesied that someday it would be released again at a moment when Camelot needed it most. The man who drew it out would unify the nations of Albion and reign over the greatest kingdom the earth has ever seen. That man is you, Arthur." I believed him a little more readily than this morning, but still—why _me_? He smiled and that made me wonder again.

"You're making this up."

"Why would I do that? Your head's already as large as your waist. I believe it, though. And I believe in you. I always have." Interesting juxtaposition of sentiments there, but he walked away before I could comment. I looked at my new sword and pondered what he'd said. _Well, it wouldn't hurt to believe him_.

xxxXxxx

Everything seemed clearer and brighter after a night of rest. I was finally going to _do_ something about this mess Morgana made. I looked around for Merlin and found him staring off into space. I snapped my fingers in front of his face and walked around to his other side. "Wakey, wakey. You look like you've been awake part of the night."

"I was. Couldn't sleep," he replied. _Huh, he usually slept like the dead_.

"I thought you said you believed in me?"

"What gave you that impression?" _Ha, that's better_. I just shrugged and smiled before walking away.

I caught up with Leon and Percival, to make sure they had their orders straight. Then I saw Tristan and Isolde trying to catch my eye and walked over to them. "This is where we part ways," I said.

"Arthur, all my life I've kept away from other people's battles, and loathed the strength and riches that kings purchase with the lives of men, but you've proven yourself to be unlike that," Tristan said. That was a lot, coming from him.

"You've proven to us that you fight for what is good and just, and that's why we want to fight at your side," Isolde added. She looked at Tristan to confirm their decision.

That left me so surprised I was rendered speechless. I looked between them and said, "I'd be privileged to have you at my side. We'll fight together as equals." Isolde nodded. I turned and walked away. Just a few more things to do before we go.

A few minutes later, I found myself gazing at the new sword. Familiar footsteps approached from behind. "Arthur." I turned to look at her. "If anything happens to us, I need you to know . . ."

"Guinevere—"

"I know why you cannot forgive me. But I never once ceased to love you. _Never once_." And she walked past me without waiting for a reply. My mouth formed words, but it was too late for now. There was this _thing_ we had to do first.

Once everyone was armed, we stood together. We made sure everyone was where they needed to be. I stood at the front and waited for silence. Once I had it, I lifted my sword and swung it forward as I stepped forward, signaling everyone to move out. Red capes filed towards the castle walls. Leon led one group to take out the sentries on the wall with crossbows and go in. Percival, Tristan, and Isolde were to take out another set of guards on another gate and lead in their group of knights. I led Merlin and Guinevere in another path—directly to the council chamber to hopefully confront Morgana.

I went ahead of the other two, through the back gate and into the tunnels. Morgana should know to station guards here, but there were none until the main corridors. I fought until I reached the corridor outside the council chamber. I waited for Guinevere, Merlin, Tristan, and Isolde to catch up. We rounded the corner and saw five Southrons standing guard. I yelled instructions: "One apiece—choose your man. On me!" I charged the front man and struck him down. One stumbled towards Guinevere and she knocked him out with her sword. Tristan and Isolde took care of a couple of them together.

"What happened to our plan of finding a little land and putting down roots?" I heard Isolde ask her love.

I walked over to Merlin and appraised my sword. "Y'know, this thing's pretty decent."

"I guessed you might like it," he replied. _Ha!_

And then the moment of fun was over. I looked at each of them before entering the council chamber. "Ready?" That was a cue for all of us to yell, "For the love of Camelot!" We charged into the council chamber, but stopped short when we found only Morgana and Helios present. She lounged on the throne while her boy-toy stood behind it.

"Greetings, dear brother. It's been much too long." She got up and walked toward us. "I'm sorry if you had a rough welcome. It's difficult to find people to trust these days." She stopped in the center of the room; I approached her slowly. I held the sword carefully in my open hand to show I wouldn't attack her. She watched me warily until I slid the sword into my belt.

I met her in the middle and softly said, "What happened to you Morgana?" She looked me directly in the eye. She looked almost regretful, but hurt was dominant on her face. "I believed we were friends."

She responded softly, "As did I." Then her face and voice hardened. "But sadly, we were both mistaken."

"Don't blame me for my father's crimes."

"It's a bit late for that. You've shown exactly what you think about me and my kind. You aren't as unlike Uther as you'd care to think." _Is that what she really believes?_

My reply came without thought. "Neither are you." Her face became clouded with anger and she backed away.

"I'll take pleasure in killing you, Arthur Pendragon. Even Emrys won't be able to save you." I drew my sword while Morgana smirked. I wish I could pretend this didn't hurt, but I couldn't. "Your blades can't finish me. _Hleap on bæc,_" she said, but nothing happened; she looked totally confused. As I waited, she raised her hand, a little scared, and repeated, "_Hleap on bæc!_" I think we realized at the same moment that her magic wasn't working.

"Not so formidable now, my lady," I taunted. She stared at me in shock, then Helios pulled her behind him. She panicked and took off. "Get her!" I yelled; Guinevere and Merlin ran after her. And as if things couldn't get any worse, two Southrons entered the council chamber from behind. Tristan and Isolde handled them while I took on Helios. Several more Southrons came in just then. _Perfect_.

Fighting Helios was a huge effort with my wounds. He was strong and he fought dirty—he elbowed me in the face and I went down. Another swipe disarmed me. But just as he raised his sword for the final blow, Isolde stabbed him in the back. He looked shocked but managed to sweep around and slice at her as he fell. I didn't realize what had happened until she turned toward Tristan and dropped her sword. When she fell to her knees, Tristan ran to her and I crawled over to help.

He crouched down and pulled her to him. When he couldn't support her, he slowly backed up to a column and pulled her with him, settling her against his chest. "I'm sorry," she said.

"Shhh," he told her. Guinevere and Merlin entered then, but stopped when they saw the grieving couple. All of us stood there, watching them silently. I don't think they knew we were there.

"Our hopes . . ."

"Isolde, don't."

"I wish . . ."

"I wish, too."

"Hold me." Those were her last words. Tristan put his arm around her shoulders and she died. He cradled her face in his hand and kissed her, then held her body as he cried.

I tried to swallow past the lump in my throat and looked up at Guinevere. She looked up at me and we held each other's gaze. She looked like she wanted to say something, but didn't. I wondered if she felt the same thing I did at this moment—how quickly life can change and how cruel it can be. It just ripped Isolde from Tristan, and here was Guinevere, alive and well and _here_. How selfish of me is it to deprive her of love when we were here together? Suddenly all the reasons to stay apart from her didn't matter any longer.

xxxXxxx

Much later in the day I was finally able to take off the chainmail. There were duties to accomplish that didn't involve swords, but words. And much, _much_ later in the day, I was able to go back to my chambers for something even more important. A little bird told me that was where Guinevere was.

She was setting a fallen chair upright when she caught my eye. My chambers, as a whole, had seen better days. "It'll take a time," she said.

"Merlin can see to it," I replied. She shouldn't have to do _any_ work, let alone _his_. We smiled at each other for a long moment. But her smile faded as she stepped toward me.

"If you want me to leave, go back to Ealdor . . ." _What?_

"I want you to stay." She waited uncertainly for me to continue. I walked to her. "Guinevere . . ."

"You don't need to speak," she tried. I didn't stop.

"Whatever's gone wrong between us . . ."

"Please, Arthur, I cannot forgive myself." _Oh Guinevere_.

"I don't care." I stopped right in front of her; she finally stopped talking. "I don't ever intend to lose you." She smiled a little bittersweet smile. I considered her for a moment and took her hands. She waited with a little more hope in her eyes."Will you marry me?"

_There was her smile_. "Yes." _Music to my ears_. "Yes, with all my heart." As I leaned down to her, she wound her arms around my neck. I slide mine around her waist and we kissed like never before.

When we eventually broke apart, we sat and talked. Neither of us wanted to wait long to be married. Too many things had gotten in our way already and we didn't want to give fate a chance to put up another barricade. Her coronation would be the day after the wedding, again to not tempt fate.

Merlin finally came in a few minutes after Guinevere had left. I wanted to ask him more about the history of my new sword while he worked. But the only thing he shared was its name—_Excalibur_.

xxxXxxx

As beautiful and moving as our wedding was, Guinevere's coronation was much more so. It held more meaning to both of _us_, anyway. She was regal and beautiful in a rich purple and gold gown. I got to take in every detail as she walked down the aisle between the knights and courtiers of Camelot. She knelt on the dais in front of me and I smiled down at her. I took the queen's crown from the servant who'd brought it.

"By the sacred laws vested in me, I crown you . . . Guinevere . . . Queen of Camelot." I placed the crown upon her head and she smiled up at me. Then I took her hands and drew her up on the dais next to me. I pulled her to me for a brief kiss; she smiled as we parted. _We hadn't scripted that part_. Then I held her hand and turned us to face _our_ subjects to say, "Long live the queen!"

Everyone present joined in: "Long live the queen! Long live the queen! Long live the queen! Long live the queen! Long live the queen!"

Nothing could possibly spoil this beautiful, perfect day. And nothing did.

* * *

**I _had_ to put in that bit about Excalibur- one of my pet peeves about the show is they _never_, to my knowledge, named the sword _verbally_. I would _love_ to be wrong about that, please let me know. :) I'll post here when 5.1 is up.**


	11. Note

This is sadly _not_ a new chapter. _But_ it is to notify y'all that I've uploaded the first chapter of _In Arthur's Head, S5_ I hope you'll read it! :)


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